Awakened to Serve
by Jasperbells
Summary: Bella is cursed,she has the gift of helping vampires control their thirst. What happens when she is awakened to help a very angry Jasper.Will she tell them her secret to breaking the curse and will Jasper be the one to break it? JasperxBella pairing.READ
1. Awaken

**Ok so this story is completely different than the other Jasper and Bella stories out there. Please give it a chance. It's all typed out already so I'm prepared lol.**

**Bella was born centuries ago, way before Jasper and Carlisle. She is cursed; she has to help vampires control their thirst, once she is done helping them she falls back asleep until the next vampire unburies her. So Carlisle really want to help Jasper so he finds her and brings her to the house. She is so scared at first and doesn't speak English. Jasper hates that Alice and family don't believe he is strong enough so he does not like Bella at all. Will she tell them how to break her free from the curse but more importantly who will break the curse? Please review!**

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The smell of musty air made its way in my nostrils; I cringed involuntarily and looked around. The tight space that incased me was now letting in some light. Delicate voices echoed around me as the top of the crate was pried open. I shielded my eyes with my hands before the luminosity had the chance to blind me. Breathing in my first lungful of air, I clutched at my throat, realizing that the burning sensation had returned. They must've of realized why I was in such pain because instantly a cup was placed to my lips. I greedily gulped it down and anxiously awaited the next cup which was graciously placed to my lips again. When they started to speak I could only watch as their mouths moved because I could not understand their words. A pale hand came into my line of vision and I could tell that I was meant to take it.

Still confused, I placed my smaller hand into his. He pulled me up and I quickly adjusted to my full height. It wasn't until I focused my eyes on one of them, that I realized why I was here. He opened his mouth again and more of the strange language that I heard before escaped his lips. Did he not know that I could not understand? I shook my head, hoping that he would finally know that I did not know of their language. He sighed and ran his hair through his honey blonde hair then quickly disappeared from the room. The others stared and I only felt that it was right to look down and not directly at them…it was a sign of respect. The honey blonde haired one reappeared with an object in his hand. He opened it and flipped through it. Finally smiling in approval, he opened his mouth and began to speak. This time I knew of the language he spoke… it was my own.

_"We are happy to be in your presence, I am Carlisle and this is my family." _I looked up at him; I wasn't sure what to say. _"Please do not be afraid, we're not going to hurt you." _

I looked back down; not sure if I should trust what he was saying. I jumped back in alarm when I felt a pair of icy hands touch me. I stumbled and felt myself falling except I did not fall. When I turned my head to see what was going on, I came face to face with a pair of beautiful amber eyes. He looked like he was in terrible pain and I immediately knew that he was why I was here. He helped me up and walked back to a short female with black hair. She smiled at me and waved, was I meant to show her the same gratitude? Yes I was, I smiled weakly and looked back down. They spoke amongst themselves again, leaving me to wonder what they were saying.

_"Please tell us your name." _I jerked my head up at the request. They wanted to know my name? I bowed my head again; too shy to speak. _"Would you feel better to know our names first?" _Yes, I would make me less panicked. I nodded. _"This is my wife Esme, my son Edward, my son Emmett and his wife Rosalie, my other son Jasper and his wife Alice" _He pointed them all out and smiled, waiting for my response of course.

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth.

_"I- I am Isabellina, but please call me Bella,"_ I bowed my head and lifted it quickly to see their reactions. Carlisle seemed to be the only one who understood because he spoke in his own language now. The others nodded and the short one repeated my name smiling. She seemed genuinely happy that I was here; the others were hard to read.

_"Welcome to our house Bella, we are really happy that you are here to help my son Jasper," _Jasper, he must've been the one that caught me. I smiled and looked at Jasper; his arms were tight to his sides, his expression clenched.

_"It is my calling to help Carlisle, thank you for awaking me." _Was I truly happy that he had awakened me? No I wasn't because I rather sleep for eternity than to face disappointment again.

Carlisle smiled appreciatively and nodded his head in agreement. He seemed rather relieved with my answer, almost as if he expected rejection from me. Turning to the others; he spoke to them. Jasper, who I was looking at from beneath my shade of hair, looked in disagreement of my being here. He displayed no attempt to hide his disgust in me; instead he spoke in jagged rushed tones to the Carlisle and his wife. Surely he knew that my being here would only strengthen him and most likely his relationship with his wife. . I felt the urge to clear the air, to tell them of my life. Hopefully retelling my story would cause Jasper to feel less pressured and cornered. I cleared my throat and waited for their attention to turn onto me.

_"I understand that it must be hard to admit that he needs help, maybe if I explain my story to him…it will help more?"_ I ended it with a question, not sure if I made any sense. Carlisle smiled and talked to the others again. Jasper's wife Alice smiled widely and nodded me ahead. I slowly sat down on the nearest couch and began.

Chapter 2

_"My full name is Isabellina Swanehia, and I used to be the princess of my country." _I paused and waited for Carlisle to translate. _"I was loved by everyone and considered a great beauty, but now I am sure that our interpretation of beauty is nothing compared to yours. Every day in my palace was the same and there were barely any signs of trouble or anything of the sort. However one night, there was an up rise in the village that surrounded my palace. Fire engulfed most of the building and the cries of mother and child was easily heard. I remember my mother taking off her necklace and putting it around my neck, telling me to be brave. She locked me in my room and ran off to check up on our king… my father. I wasn't sure what was going on until I went to the window. There was a dark overcast engulfing the sky and the village below it. Scared, I ran back into my bed and covered my head, being brave was the last thing on my mind." _I allowed Carlisle to translate while I looked down at my bare feet.

_"The blanket that I had covered my head with was yanked away and I was pushed hard onto my bed. I couldn't see much, only that the thing that had forced me down had a pair of crimson red eyes. I screamed but the hand quickly covered my mouth. I do not wish to go into detail of what happened to me but only to say that I was made into what I am now. After that night my life changed. My mother and father did not want to hurt me even though I begged for it. Instead they helped me fight off my thirst for the human blood. But I was not like the other monsters that roamed the village at night; I had a gift…a gift to see the bond that holds a two together and also the gift to help those who cannot control their thirst. My blood is unique, or so that is what my mother used to tell me. As the knowledge of my gift became known, I was summoned to help the others in the town who were cursed like me. I would spend months with different people, staying at their houses with their families to help them with their control. Before my parents died I asked to be buried with them, only to be awaken when my help was truly needed. Now I am here to ameliorate your thirst for human blood Jasper." _Carlisle spoke again to them and I waited patiently while staring at the floor. Their house was beautiful; it put my palace to shame.

_"Thank you for telling us about your life Bella, we really are glad that you are here for Jasper."_

_"How did you find me?" _Surely my body was hard to find.

_"First I believed your story only to be a myth but after reading and searching I was able to locate your burial ground." _Why was I angry that he had found me? I promised that I would live on to help… I just didn't think that it would be so soon, I smiled anyway.

After we talked for a while I felt it necessary to know how much control Jasper had. However I knew how embarrassing it could be for a person, so I asked Carlisle to be alone with Jasper. He quickly agreed and I was alone with him. He stood where he was; wearing the same expression as before. I wasn't afraid of him or of the injury he could cause me. I was undoubtedly stronger than he was and could withstand any of the hits that he could give me. Stepping in his direction, I tested his control. He shoved himself in the corner his hands balled into fists. Finally I was close enough to touch him. I leaned into him and brought my neck up to his mouth, letting his lips graze my jugular. He smelled surprisingly good, almost like a fragrant spice. He didn't move but struggled against me. I pulled away and lifted my brows at him. He was able to resist but I was sure that if I had stayed where I was, he would've attacked me. He stayed pushed against the wall with a pained expression. The last thing I wanted was for him to be in pain but I was determined to help him…so that maybe in return…they would help me.

I tucked my black hair behind my ear and motioned him to me. He didn't budge, instead pushed himself tighter into the wall. I stalked back to him and pointed to my neck then his lips. If he didn't do what I asked I would be forced to push him to his limits. He didn't seem to understand so I spoke.

_"Come," _He looked confused and I realized that we would not be able to communicate without Carlisle around.

I sighed and pulled his hand. He was strong but I was stronger; tugging harder I was able to pull him away from the wall. Jasper stood there with even more agony in his eyes. I knew that his throat was on fire but I also knew that he would have to suffer in order to move on. I advanced toward him again, raising his arms to wrap around my small waist. He looked at me quizzically and I nodded. It was an awkward position for him and I could feel his body stiffening. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck. It happened fast then, as I was thrown against the wall. Immediately the others came into the room just as Jasper came running to me. I signaled for them to stop but they came to me anyway; checking my body for any scrapes or cuts. I was fine really; I knew that with our first close encounter Jasper would attack me.

_"Are you alright?" _I was partly frustrated with them interrupting us, Jasper needed to do this with me and me alone. I ignored Carlisle's outstretched hand and stood up on my own.

_"Let him go," _I told him sternly, I really was angry I didn't tolerate working like this.

Carlisle looked at me confused, did they want Jasper cured or not?

"_Let him go I said," _I said again more angrily.

"_He will hurt you Bella, he needs a minute to cool off," _He added gently. I shook my head violently and pushed my way through the others.

Jasper was being held by the big one, Emmett. He struggled against his hold; snapping his mouth at me when I approached. He growled furiously when I placed my hand to his cheek. He needed to be calm and I was the only one who could do it. He instantly relaxed under my touch and stopped writhing under his brother's hold. I looked to Emmett and he shrugged while slowly letting go of Jasper. Jasper stood there still a little irritated with me. I had a lot of work to do.

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**If I get enough reviews I will post the next chapter today! So don't just read it lol leave a review PLease!!!! thanks again.**


	2. My Weakness

**Thanks to those who took time to review! I was super excited when I woke up and saw ten reviews, I know it's not much but it made me smile. SO hopefully by posting this next chapter, I will get even more reviews. I was a little iffy about writing it so really the story is in your hands, if I get a good response in the reviews then i'll keep writing. Thanks again and don't forget to review! luv Jasperbells**

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Jasper's POV

(Before they open Bella's crate)

"I don't need some ancient legend to help me Carlisle, I can do it on my own," I spat out angrily.

Carlisle had told us long ago about an ancient Egyptian legend of a princess who had the skill of helping others of our kind with their thirst. We didn't believe him because it seemed so prosperous that someone like that could exist. But now here he was with a dirt covered crate in our living room.

"We can't afford any more slips Jasper, we have made this our permanent residence and we need to keep it that way." I scowled and walked into the corner.

It seemed like no one believed in me, not even Alice, she had pushed for this more than anyone else. I just needed support but my family had failed to give me it, now they were subjecting me to this. I heard a low hiss in the corner and turned to see Edward with his hands in tight fists.

"We've given you every type of support Jasper so don't you dare think that we don't care. Why don't you just try this thing so we can get a move on with our lives." He said hastily.

"Okay you too let's calm down okay. Jasper, honey, please just give this a chance. I want nothing more than for you to be finally able to be comfortable. Please if not for yourself, do it for me." Esme interjected before I had the chance to give Edward a piece of my mind.

I sighed and nodded, of course I would do it for her. Carlisle smiled at me and began to open the crate. It made a loud groaning sound as he lifted the top off. I gasped slightly when I saw who was inside. Lying down in a bed of what looked like burlap fabric was a small lightly tanned girl. She looked about twenty or maybe nineteen. She was visibly breathing; I could see her chest rising up slowly. The peaks of her breast were visible under the sheer white cotton tunic she was wearing. Around her waist she wore a beaded belt. The tunic was short and stopped just in the middle of her tanned thigh. Her eyes instantly shot open and she shielded her eyes, scrunching up her nose. Her eyes were decorated in an elaborate scheme of blues and black, the edges of her eyes lined in an ebony black curl. Her hair was jet black and straight cut with bangs. She clutched at her throat in pain; her eyes black. Carlisle brought a cup of blood that he got form the hospital to her lips. She drank it ravenously, stretching her hand out for another serving.

"Let's be gently with her, try not to stare," but I couldn't help myself…she was breathtaking and smelled so… appetizing.

Carlisle reached his hand out to her but she looked confused and hesitant. After a minute or so, she placed her hand into his, letting him help her up to her full height. Her black hair momentarily danced as she adjusted herself. Her lips were a light pink color and I had to fight off every urge in my body not to attack her. As she turned her head to look around, her eyes focused on mine; her eyes a haunting dark emerald.

"Hello I am Carlisle." She broke her gaze from mine and turned to Carlisle. "This is my family." She shook her head no; of course there was no way that she would know English.

"Carlisle I don't think she understands you," Edward told him. He ran a pensive hand through his hair and disappeared into his study. She stood there with her eyes to the floor. When Carlisle returned he held a big book in his hands. He turned to a page smiling and began to speak.

"_We are happy to be in your presence, I am Carlisle and this is my family." _The language Carlisle spoke was foreign to us; we all wanted to hear her speak. She Iooked up at him hesitantly, I could feel that she was scared.

"_Please do not be afraid, we're not going to hurt you." _

She looked back down, never breaking her gaze away from the wooden floor. Of course she was scared, everyone was staring at her. I stopped looking at her and fixed my eyes on a frame hanging from the wall. Carlisle approached her as her eyes were down and I instantly knew that it was a mistake for him to do so. She jumped back in alarm, stumbling. I raced to catch her; letting her fall into my arms. Her scent hit me even stronger than before and I struggled to hold still. She turned her head so that now we were face to face. She gasped and bore into me with her eyes again. Standing up; I lifted her to her feet and retreated back to Alice, all the while holding my breath. Alice waved at her and I rolled my eyes, she was going to make this hard for me. She smiled back weakly and looked back to the floor again.

"She's so beautiful Carlisle, but I can't see her future…it's all black."

"Yes I predicted that you wouldn't be able to. She is not like us, yes she drinks blood but I've researched and found out that it can only be human blood. It seems that she is the typical stereotype of a vampire."

"How so?" Edward asked.

"Well she can't go out in the sunlight because it will burn her, and I believe that her "fangs" are retractable. Oh and she can eat human food."

In the pit of my stomach I knew that this would not end well. The Volturi must have been looking for her too, would they know that we had found her?

"_Please tell us your name." _Carlisle spoke to her again causing for her to jerk her head up at the request. She bowed her head again and the waves of her shyness swept over me _"Would you feel better to know our names first?" _She nodded. _"This is my wife Esme, my son Edward, my son Emmett and his wife Rosalie, my other son Jasper and his wife Alice" _Carlisle pointed us all out to her and smiled.

She cleared her throat and opened her mouth.

_"I- I am Isabellina, but please call me Bella,"_ Her voice was entrancing as she spoke; her lips moving hypnotically. She bowed her head and lifted it quickly again. Although we could not understand her, I was sure that she had told us that her name was Bella. Alice smiled, no grinned at Bella.

"Bella" Alice repeated.

_"Welcome to our house Bella, we are really happy that you are here to help my son Jasper," _After he said my name I was sure that he had told her about me; of how I was a monster who ravaged innocent humans.

_"It is my calling to help Carlisle, thank you for awaking me." _Speaking again; her voice almost melodic, she feigned a smile.

Carlisle smiled appreciatively at her and nodded his head in agreement. Alice moved impatiently waiting for Carlisle to translate.

"She says that she is happy to help you Jasper."

"She doesn't even know me, how is she going to help me? I appreciate the help Carlisle but maybe we should put her back in the box. Nothing good can come from this."

"She wants to help you Jasper, why don't you just give it a shot. Please?" Alice whined in her high pitched voice. "Imagine if it works Jasper; imagine all the places we can go together." She squeezed my hand but it had little effect on me. She made a small sound and I reluctantly turned to her.

_"I understand that it must be hard to admit that he needs help, maybe if I explain my story to him…it will help more?"_ she asked Carlisle a question in her spellbinding voice. Carlisle smiled and turned to us again.

"She wants to tell us her story to help Jasper understand her more." Nothing could make me understand why she believed that she was the key to my redemption.

Alice smiled at her and nodded her ahead to begin speaking. She moved to the white couch and sat down and began to speak. My mind was already made up and I could care less about what she had to say. She spoke slowly while fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. She paused to allow Carlisle to translate and I could sense the emotion of sadness radiating from the both of them.

"She says that her full name is Isabellina Swanehia, and she used to be the princess of her country. She was loved by everyone and was considered a great beauty. She says that one night there was an up rise in the village that surrounded her palace. Fire destroyed most of the buildings and she could hear mothers and children crying. Her mom put her necklace around her neck and told her to be brave. She locked her in her room and ran off to check on her father. She says that the sky was black and she was scared so she ran back to her bed and covered her head." Carlisle bowed his head in the same manner she had.

She continued to speak; still playing with her small fingers in her lap. The state that the room was in before she began had changed. Even though they couldn't understand her; everyone sat down staring at her intently. Her voice hitched a bit and Carlisle began to speak again.

"She was attacked in her room by a mysterious man resulting in her change. She took on the role of helping others in the village that could not control their thirst. Her parents were supportive of her and helped her feel comfortable. She has the gift of seeing the bond that holds a two together and also the gift to help those who cannot control their thirst. When her parents died, she was buried with them and vowed to help whoever woke her up. She is determined Jasper, to teach you how to control your thirst." I rolled my eyes at what she said, how could she possibly be able to teach me when I couldn't understand a word coming out from her mouth.

"_Thank you for telling us about your life Bella, we really are glad that you are here for Jasper."_

_"How did you find me?" _She asked him a question and looked up at him with eager curiosity in her eyes.

_"First I believed your story only to be a myth but after reading and searching I was able to locate your burial ground." _She felt angry and it confused me, did she lie about being happy to "help?" She smiled anyway at Carlisle.

Bella and Carlisle spoke for a couple of minutes silently on the couch. She looked up at me almost smiling and I knew that she wanted to be alone with me.

"Jasper she wants to see how much control you have as a starting point, we're just going to be in the other room if you need us." I couldn't argue because I was frozen in my spot against the wall.

She stared at me from the across the room with complete focus in her eyes. As she started to walk closer to me I began to crush myself harder against the wall. Her scent was hard to ignore; it was like freesias after a light rain in the spring. Bella was now inches away from my face; I held my breath as she leaned into me; pressing her neck up to my mouth. Her pulse throbbed against my lips and I could taste the metallic venom spilling into my mouth. I imagined throwing her to the ground; pinning her hands above her head and drinking her dry as she cried out my name in sweet ecstasy, I bet she would enjoy it. She finally stepped away; pulling me out from my sick fantasy. I let out the breath that I was holding while she assessed my emotions.

She tucked her black hair behind her ear and curled her index finger; motioning for me to come to her. If I did as she told me I would attack her instantly as our bodies came in contact again. But her blood beckoned me; the thought of not being that close to her again killed me. Was she my singer? Yes, Bella was my singer. She came back to me again and there was a part of me that sighed in relief. Her hand pointed to her neck then her soft lips, she was threatening me to do as she told. The burning in my throat just got worse as she stood there. I was sure that the sensation of a hot rod being shoved down my throat wouldn't cease until she left me alone.

_"Come," _She spoke in her own language, did she forget that I wouldn't be able to understand her?

She sighed and pulled on my fisted hand, her warmth overwhelmed me. Her strength was surprising because she was able to pull me away from the wall. She exuded sympathy as she looked at me with her green eyes. She raised my arms; wrapping them around her small waist. I looked at her quizzically and she nodded. I stiffened as she placed her arms around my neck; a movement that exposed her neck. Her scent sent me over the top and I could feel my eyes turning black. There was still a rational part me as I threw her off of me and into the wall across the room. Her small body banged against it like a ragdoll.  
The room flooded with my family as they ran to her, all projecting worry and shame. I ran to her to make sure that she was okay but her scent knocked the rationality out of me, I growled. She put her hands up; pushing away their examining hands.

_"Are you alright?" _Carlisle asked her. She radiated frustration as she ignored Carlisle's hand while standing up on her own.

_"Let him go," _Her voice was stern…what was she asking? I struggled against Emmett's strong hold as she got closer.

Carlisle looked at her confused, what did she say?

"_Let him go I said," _she again more angrily.

"_He will hurt you Bella, he needs a minute to cool off," _Carlisle responded gently. She shook her head aggressively and pushed her way through the others.

I thrashed side to side against his hold; snapping my mouth at her as she approached. I growled furiously when her warm hand found its way to my cheek. Suddenly all my emotions that told me to attack her, faded away. I could feel Emmett's hold loosening. When he let go, I felt awkward and irritated at Bella. Did she just manipulate my emotions? Whatever she did, I know that I did not like it. These were going to be the worst days of my life.

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**Thanks for reading and don't forget to REVIEW IF YOU WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER! Thanks again.**


	3. Left Alone

**Hey thanks for the reviews! Looks like you guys actually like it but it's still too early to say. So im going to need you guys to review and tell me your thoughts before I post the next chapter. Thanks again! Remember Alice cannot see the future regarding Bella so she is completely clueless about what the future holds!**

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Bella's POV

Carlisle told me that it would be best if I let Jasper relax tonight and then start fresh tomorrow, but I told him that I would do no such thing.

"_If you want Jasper to be controlled then it would be best to listen to me," _I said, trying to remain calm.

_"Of course we want that for him but I think he's at his limit for tonight. He almost killed you" _I got up angrily from the couch.

"_I would've been fine Carlisle! I work alone I don't tolerate being saved or whatever you think you were doing. I may not be as fast as you or as smart but I sure am stronger" _I felt as if I would explode from anger now. Earlier when they came rushing into the room it made me feel weak and vulnerable which I am not. "_I've been doing this for my more than half of my life Carlisle, I've dedicated time…time that I could've spent being normal, to perfect this curse! But I'm not normal so please don't tell me how to do my job because it's my life now," _I breathed out loudly and left him there.

Walking up the unfamiliar stairs; I followed Jasper's scent into a room. He and Alice were on a bed talking, they looked up instantly when I walked in. I breathed out loudly again and walked up to Jasper. Alice seemed almost amused by my actions and watched intently as I lay on the floor. She looked at me confused then smiled like she understood. I watched as she jumped off the bed and sat beside me. I took that moment then to assess her features. Her eyes will full and golden, her small nose almost disappearing into her tiny face. I could feel my body being lifted off the floor and pulled into a room just across from theirs.

"This is your room" her voice was almost shrill like. What did she say? "Thhhhhhiiiisss is youuuur roooom" Did she think that talking like that would make me understand?

She waved her petite hand around the room and then pointed to me in an enthusiastic gesture. Was she trying to say that this was my room? Surely she was saying something else because this room was way too exquisite to be mine. I pointed to my chest and she responded with a big smile. The room was a powdery pink color which instantly repulsed me; I hated that color. However I smiled anyway, remembering my manners. The room was lavishly furnished in very weird looking furniture and the walls made of glass. Where were the shades? Did Carlisle not know that I would die in the sun? The light that was guaranteed to shine through these windows would kill me in an instant. I stepped up to the window and ran my fingers along it gingerly. I turned when I heard what sounded like a squeal behind me; Alice was standing there with Carlisle.

_"Why aren't there any shades?" _I asked. He smiled and walked up to me.

"_The main reason why we maintain a permanent residence here Bella is because the sun rarely comes out. Instead it rains often and the clouds always shield the sky." _I nodded, not wanting to speak; still feeling slightly agitated from before.

Alice spoke to him and he nodded his head in what seemed like agreement.

_"Alice would like for me to tell you that she is more than willing to lend clothing to you." _I could barely stifle the laugh that escaped from my mouth. Alice was tiny, how could her clothes possibly fit me? And foremost, why would I want to wear her clothing? Her style sense did not rub well with me.

_"That is very nice of her Carlisle but I'm not sure that her clothes will fit me, I'm fine with what I have on."_

_"You are going to need more than what you have on Bella…tomorrow Alice will take you out to purchase new ones."_

_"Purchase? Don't you make your own clothing?" _Now it was his turn to laugh.

_"Some people do but we buy them from a store that sells them to us already made." _It sounded lazy.

"_I can make my own."_

_"Actually that sounds like a great idea. I do know that Esme has fabric stored. Would you like to take a look?" _I nodded and followed him out of the room.

I spent the night making about twenty articles of clothing. They seemed surprised at how fast and efficient I was able to put them together. Alice showed me how to operate what they call a shower, it was terrifying at first but now it just fascinated me. Now I was alone in the gigantic bed, tossing and turning unable to sleep. It wasn't that the bed wasn't comfortable, it was, I enjoyed silk. It was that my rules and my ways were changed by Carlisle. I couldn't shake away the disturbance that I felt. In the other room I could hear Jasper's and Alice's muffled conversation from through the door; they were content about something. Her giggles were clearer than his but I knew that they both were laughing. I turned to lie on my back and stared up at the pink ceiling. Alice and Jasper's relationship was a confusing one; they looked inseparable, deeply in love, however their bond appeared to be hanging on a shaky thread. Did they know this? I didn't think so; they gave off the impression of obliviousness. I've seen what telling people of their bonds did to their relationships; it virtually tore them apart. If they were to find out about their bond it would be their own discovery, not from my mention of it. I sighed and thought about what transpired today. Jasper's control was okay I guess, it was just my force that drove him over the edge. I bit my lip and sighed again. The reality of my situation was hitting me hard; am I supposed to tell them of my secret or should I just keep it to myself. I was always the suffer in silence type. I will tell when the time is right, until I can trust him. I am unable to stifle yawn as I turn to lie on my side, tomorrow will be an interesting day.

I woke up early and walked downstairs in what I slept in, pausing when I saw everyone preparing to leave. I made my way Carlisle and asked him where everyone was going.

_"They are getting ready for school Bella. How was your night?" _Ignoring his question I carried on.

_"All of them?"_

_"Yes, they all go to the same school together. Is there something wrong?"_

_"Is Jasper going?" _I turned to where they all stood; Jasper was standing near the door with a bag across his shoulder.

_"Yes he is," _how was I supposed to train with Jasper if he was at school for who knows how many hours?

I felt like I was awaken for no reason; they weren't taking me seriously, which aggravated me more and more as the minutes passed. Restraining myself from yelling at Carlisle again, I turned back to him, teeth slightly clenched.

_"He's staying here today,"_ I said with more force than I meant. _"I mean, I think that it would be best if Jasper were to stay here…with me." _I relaxed a bit and looked at him, would it hurt for me to smile? I smiled at him and waited for his response. His eyes flickered with agreement as he nodded his head.

_"That sounds like a great idea, it'll give you the chance to get to... know Jasper," _I put on a fake smile, the faster I had Jasper controlled, the longer I could spend fulfilling my own mission.

_"I think that it would be best if he did not attend school for a couple of days." _I turned to Jasper and waited silently for Carlisle to translate.

Jasper sighed angrily, dropping his bag to the floor as he began to engage in a heated conversation with Carlisle. I leaned against the wall with a small frown on my lips. Jasper was acting like a child; whining and yelling at Carlisle every time they talked about me. The conversation cooled down and he smiled apologetically at his father. I pushed myself off the wall and walked to stand next to Carlisle.

_"I'm guessing that since you're um…" _What were they exactly? They certainly weren't like me; I drank human blood while they didn't. "_Since you guys go to school, then it should be fairly easy for Jasper to pick up my language. But let me warn you that it will be very difficult."_

_"Yes we do learn fast,' he laughed and smiled. "However it took me a year to learn your language, it is very complicated." _I nodded in agreement. My language was not perfect; the grammar was very hard to get used to.

_"If you could help me translate a couple to sentences for Jasper I would greatly appreciate it."_

_"Sure, what would you like for me to translate?" _I looked at Jasper; he was sitting defeated on the couch. When his gaze caught mine, he quickly looked away.

_"Look at me," _Carlisle translated and Jasper looked confused. _"Come closer, stop struggling, hold me." _At the last word Jasper growled and stood up furiously. I crossed my arms over my chest annoyed. What now?

Carlisle sighed again and a pang of sadness hit me. Carlisle was obviously under a lot of stress and Jasper was the main cause of it. Carlisle turned to me with fatigue.

"_Jasper is a little hesitant at your last request Bella," _I rolled my eyes and sighed.

_"Tell him that I'm not going to change it, he really has to understand that it is all for his benefit."_

_"Well he wants you to know some words in English," _I smiled, I wanted to learn their language…this would help

_"Okay, what are they?" _I uncrossed my arms and waited eagerly. Carlisle seemed even more distressed than before as he opened his mouth.

_"I am going to hurt you in English is: _I'm going to hurt you, _back away in English is: _Back away_." _

My smile disappeared as he gave me a long list of warnings from Jasper. I had to be honest; it shook my confidence a little. In all my years of serving this curse, there hasn't been anyone who has reacted as badly as this. I turned to Jasper who now had a small smirk playing on his face as if expecting for me to just give up. I matched his smirk equally and shrugged.

_"Thank you Jasper I think I have it down. Have a good day at work Carlisle." _I said regaining my confidence. I strutted over to where Jasper stood and smiled at him. He immediately walked away leaving me with Carlisle near the door. "_Do not worry about him Carlisle…everything will be fine."_

_"If you need anything just have Jasper call either Esme or I" _I nodded and pushed him out the door.

Finally we were alone I thought as I leaned against the door. Jasper was nowhere in sight which did not surprise me, he was probably locked in his bathroom, pacing uncontrollably. The thought made me smile; it amused me to think that my presence rattled him to the point where he would have to hide from me. However it wasn't completely fair for me to be entertained by his actions; I was here to help him not laugh him into a corner. My mind managed to make one more image of me pushing a cowering Jasper into a corner, I quickly dismissed the thought. Jasper didn't fear me; he just feared what he could do to me. I made my way up the stairs and turned into Jasper's room. He was on his bed reading a book. I walked into the room and was suddenly hit with an overwhelming smell of perfume…Alice. A raised eyebrow shot up from his behind his book. Was that a good sign? Yes it was because he put the book down and stared at me intently. I furrowed my brows in return. Pulling both of my legs to lie in front of me I sat not too far from him.

"_Come closer,"_ He rolled his ocher colored eyes and picked his book back up. I wasn't going to try to convince myself that he didn't understand me because I know he did. "_Come closer," _I said again, trying to be more gentle.

He did not move from his position and continued to read his book. I couldn't read what the book said but he was totally engrossed. If he wasn't going to move then I would have to get closer. As soon as I began to move he put the book down slightly baring his teeth.

"Back away." His tone was harsh. He was already angry before we had even begun but I was not going to give up easily.

I turned my head to the side and gave an unconvincing smile. He rolled his eyes again and returned his attention to the book. Okay now I was on the edge of my patience. I grabbed his book and held it firmly behind my back. Jasper looked infuriated as he stood up with his hands tightly to his side. He said something in his language which I assumed was give me my book back, but I shook my head no. He would not get the book back until he did as I said.

_"Come,"_ His outline began to shake with what I understood as rage. "_Come!" _I said for the fourth time. It was like a flash; he disappeared from his spot and into the bathroom inside of his room.

This was beyond childish I thought as I knocked on the door. "_Open the door Jasper!" _I screamed.

I didn't want to ruin the door which I assumed Esme had spent money buying so I stopped knocking and slid down to the floor. I would wait here until he got out even if that meant spending the whole day here. I sighed and looked at the book I was holding. It was a little worn out with the corners folding up. What was so interesting about this book that he would rather read then practice his control? Didn't he want to change his life? I suddenly began to feel extremely angry with Jasper. He had the chance to change his life, to become a better vampire, to be almost normal. I would never have that chance; I would never be less of the monster that I am now until….until. It just hurts more to think about it. I exhale noisily and lean further against the door; my angry slowly fading to sadness. I didn't ask to be this thing; I didn't ask to invade other people's lives. If I had the choice, I would just sleep forever.

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**Review please ot's the only way I know to keep posting. Hope you liked it!**


	4. My Patience

**Hey guys thanks for your supportive reviews! Keep them coming please, and I will keep on posting. So im not going to be able to post everyday anymore since college is starting but i will post everyother day and if I can't i will leave an authors note. Please review and tell me what you think. Thank again!**

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Jasper's POV

I was able to convince Carlisle to talk to Bella about letting me be alone with Alice tonight. I felt disappointed at myself for my behavior but Bella deserved it. She knew what would happen if I was pushed to my edge.

"God this is so frustrating," I turned to Alice who was lounged out on our bed. Her hands were massaging her temples. "I can't see anything about Bella! How am I supposed to know whether or not she'll like me dressing her up?" I secretly rolled my eyes. Here I was going through his horrible experience and she too busy thinking about how she was going to play dress up with Bella.

Downstairs I could hear Bella and Carlisle arguing, most likely about me. I could feel the waves of anger coming off Bella and feelings of distress coming off of Carlisle. I hated knowing that I was causing his to worry about me so much; I didn't want him stressing out. I climbed onto the bed and leaned toward Alice.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind, and to be honest she needs the makeover,"

"Oh Jasper back then wearing long see through tunics was the style." She said.

I nodded my head in agreement and could hear Bella coming up the stairs in defeat. She walked into our room, her hands tight to her sides. Alice absolutely beamed with excitement while she watched as Bella lay down on our carpet. Alice was stumped but I knew what Bella was up to. She wanted to make me suffer for the whole night as she slept there. Alice jumped off the bed and sat beside Bella. She stared at her with inquisitiveness then lifted her off the floor. I clenched my hand into a fist; Alice was supposed to be on my side not Bella's. She dragged her into the room from across ours.

Whatever they were doing didn't interest me at all and I did not want to listen to them talk. I jumped out the open window and started to sprint into the exposed forest. This was the only place that I could be at peace; there wasn't any pressure out here, just me and the tress. I took this time to hunt down a deer. If Bella was going to sleep across from our room then I would need to be prepared. Running my hands through my hair and thought about what I could do. I could beat my thirst on my own and prove to my family that I wasn't weak at all. Or I could suck it up and let Bella help me. I scowled at the last thought; I dislike Bella for coming into my life and ruining it. Everyone seemed to be fascinated by her, but I was less than fascinated, I was annoyed. Annoyed with the fact that she thought that we could be friends because she was here to "help" me. I jumped back through the window meeting Alice in the room.

"Done clearing your head?" I smiled weakly at her. She was drying her hair with a towel.

"What happened to your hair?" I asked climbing into the bed.

"I was teaching Bella how to use the shower. You should've seen her; she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I closed my eyes and imagined Bella screaming at blasting cold water, a small smile made its way to my lips.

"What's so funny?" she asked laughing a bit herself.

"I was just imagining Bella screaming while cold water shoots out at her,"

"That's not that funny Jasper," she said still laughing.

"Then why are you laughing?" She stopped and looked serious.

"Seriously Jasper, she's here to help you. Laughing at her won't help." I exhaled loudly.

"I just don't think that she is going to be able to help me." I turned away from her and looked out the window.

"Well you'll never know until you try," she said sounding a bit annoyed. I clamped my teeth down and stared out the window until the sun made its way out into the sky. At least I would be able to get some peace at school.

When it was time to get ready for school, I rushed; hoping that Bella would sleep in for the whole day and forget about my presence.

"Why are you rushing? You're not going to school with us today anyway." Alice chimed while packing her bag.

"What do you mean I'm not going?" I grabbed my back anyway and slung it across my shoulder.

"Well I didn't see you in any of my visions of us at school, so I'm assuming you're going to be here with Bella," She smiled and started to leave the room. I followed close behind.

"But I don't want to stay here with her,"

"Aw come on Jasper, she's not that bad." We stood near the door.

"She is when we're alone together." Alice visibly rolled her eyes at me and sighed.

"Imagine all the things we'll be able to do once you're cured." Cured? Did I have some sort of infectious disease? It hurt to hear her say it. "Plus the sooner you do it the sooner she'll be back in the box and you won't have to worry." She smiled and turned away from me.

I'm sure if I had a heart, it would be breaking right now. My whole family thinks that I'm some weak monster. Every vampire goes through this stage, right? I stiffened my hold on my bag when I smelled her coming down the stairs. I said a silent prayer when she bypassed me and walked into the kitchen to where Carlisle was. She hadn't changed her clothes from last night; the sheer loose tunic swayed as she walked, her tanned toned calves were amazing. I pulled my mind away from that thought and focused on getting to school. I placed my hand on Alice's shoulder and sent her a plea. She shrugged it off and continued to get ready.

I could hear them walking over to us and talking. She was angry but had a small smile on her face. Her smile didn't reach her eyes though as she continued to talk to Carlisle. He nodded his head and turned to me. I sent a similar wave of what I sent to Alice, but to no avail; because he began to tell me what I feared the most.

"Jasper, Bella thinks that it would be best if you didn't go to school for a while so that she can began your training." Was he serious? I could control myself at school.

"No I am not going to miss school," I heard Edward from upstairs.

"It's not like you're going to miss anything Jasper!" I hissed.

"Edward is right Jasper. This is more important."

"How many times do I have to tell you guys that I can control my thirst on my own?" I dropped my bag to the floor in the heat of my anger.

"Jasper we have given you that chance. All we ask is that you try this out." He looked tired and vampires don't get tired. I was pushing him into stressing out.

"Okay okay I'll try this but if she gets hurt just know that I warned you." Carlisle hit my shoulder lightly with a wry smile on his lips. I smiled back despite feeling furious.

Bella came towards us; I could feel her slight frustration and amusement. Was this funny to her?

"_I'm guessing that since you're um…" _She hesitated as if thinking and then started again."_Since you guys go to school, then it should be fairly easy for Jasper to pick up my language. But let me warn you that it will be very difficult." _I hated it when she said my name; like she knew me or something. Carlisle smiled.

"_Yes we do learn fast," _he laughed and smiled_. "However it took me a year to learn your language, it is very complicated," _She nodded her head.

"_If you could help me translate a couple to sentences for Jasper I would greatly appreciate it." _I hated not knowing what they were talking about, especially since my name came up more than once. I moved to sit on the couch; away from her line of sight.

"_Sure, what would you like for me to translate?" _She turned and looked at me and for a second we held each other's gaze before I quickly looked away.

"Jasper, Bella is going tell me some words that she wants you to know. It will be your responsibility to remember them." I looked the other way.

_"Look at me_

"That means look at me."

"_Come closer, stop struggling, hold me." _

"Those three words mean come closer, stop struggling, and hold me." I growled and stood up. I was not going to touch her in any way. She crossed her arms over her chest; annoyed. I didn't want anything to do with her. The others left and I could hear as their cars pulled away.

"I'm not going to do any of those things!" Carlisle sighed and I could feel his sadness oozing from him.

"_Jasper is a little hesitant at your last request Bella," _she rolled her eyes and sighed.

_"Tell him that I'm not going to change it, he really has to understand that it is all for his benefit."_

"Jasper, Bella wants you to know that she is not going to take back what she said, truly it's for your benefit." My benefit? They obviously did not know what I needed.

"Alright then I believe it's only fair that I tell her some word in English, for _her_ benefit."

_"Well he wants you to know some words in English," _she smiled and I could feel pure excitement exuding from her.

"_Okay, what are they?" _She uncrossed her arms and waited eagerly.

"I am going to hurt you, back away, don't touch me, stop it, leave me alone, I don't want you here, this is a waste of time." I smirked I felt her confidence shaking as I talked. Her smile instantly disappeared and it made me feel…better.

I listened as Carlisle continues to translate my words to her. When he was done she turned to me with a sad look on her face with made me smirk even more. I was taken back when her dad expression disappeared and was replaced with a smirk as big as mine. She shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"_Thank you Jasper I think I have it down. Have a good day at work Carlisle." _

She strutted over to with a smile that showed her all her teeth. I quickly ran up the stairs and into my room. I needed a release, I need to remember that I'm not a monster, that I'm not weak. I flitted over to the book shelf in the corner and pulled out my journal from when I was a human. This was the only thing that kept me sane. I opened and smiled. There on the very first page was a letter from my mother. I sat down on the bed to more comfortable.

_To Jasper,_

_I hope you will use this to put in all of the dreams that you have in that crowded head of yours.. When you are feeling sad and I am not there to sing you that song you love, just write down all of your feelings in this and I promise you will feel better. _

_-Love you always, Jane Whitlock, your mother._

By holding onto this book I had something none of my brothers and sister had; I had my life from before my life as a vampire. I carried this everywhere with me, occasionally scrawling more of my feelings in it. I could hear her coming up the stairs. Her amusement just spiked as she made it to the top of the stairs. I hope she doesn't come in here; I just want to be alone. My hope failed because she was in my room now. I looked above my journal to look at her; she looked a bit apprehensive, standing there in her translucent tunic. I couldn't help but to take that moment to study her. She sat on the far corner of the bed, stretching her legs out in front of her. She continued to stare and I found myself being sucked into her pools of green.

"_Come closer," _I rolled my eyes; I wasn't going to give her what she wanted. I put my book back up and continued to read.

I could feel her patience beginning to wear thin but honestly I did not care.

"_Come closer," _She said it again. I didn't move but instead continued to read my entries.

I could feel the bed moving slightly, I whipped my head to see what exactly she thought she was doing. She was trying to get closer. Did she not understand that I _would_ hurt her?

"Back away." I said as harshly as I could.

She turned her head and feigned a smile. She was planning to do something but I didn't care I just kept telling myself to be calm, be calm. It happened fast and before I knew it she was holding my journal behind her back. I stood up and restrained myself from knocking her out the nearest window,

"Give that to me NOW!" she shook her head no.

"_Come,"_ she said again.

I couldn't take it! I could feel my whole body convulsing with rage. If I didn't have the control that I had now, I'm sure that I would've hurt her very badly. She yelled at me to come to her again and that just pushed me over the edge. I ran in the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I could still feel my body trembling as slid down onto the floor; leaning my back against the door. She screamed against the door, knocking on it violently. I could never forgive my family for leaving me here with this stranger. She stopped knocking and I could hear her slide down the door. She wouldn't dare rip my journal, would she? I considered opening the door and grabbing it from her but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. She probably wanted me think that she _was_ going to destroy it. Suddenly I felt a giant wave of anger coming through the door. Who cares if she's mad! I became even more confused when her anger slowly transformed into sadness. The depression seeping through the door was so unbearable, it was making me dizzy. Was she really feeling this or was it a tactic to get me to open the door? No, this could not possibly be simulated, this was real.

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**Wow okay so now Jasper knows how Bella is really feeling but does it mean he'll give into letting her help him? Tell me what you think he'll do next! Next chap: Bella finally reveals her secret to....not Jasper but to herself in a very sad Bella POV. **


	5. The Curse

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Thanks for the review guys...but thanks so much to those who review more than just "please update soon" it makes me happy to know that you have things to say so please don't feel shy to tell me what you guys think! Here is the chapter you've all been waiting for...Bella finally reveals her secret!

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**Bella's Pov**

I didn't ask to be this thing; I didn't ask to invade other people's lives. If I had the choice, I would just sleep forever.

I looked at the book again and placed it near the door. I didn't have the energy anymore to fight with Jasper. I didn't want to fight with him; I would want nothing more than to be his friend. It sure would make things easier if we were friends. I got up off the floor and walked across the hall and into my room. I looked into the mirror. This was me, the girl destined to be stuck with years, no centuries of servitude. How could I possibly convince Jasper to help me if he didn't even want _my_ help?

I sat back onto the bed and laid my head down. I don't think I could ask his brothers or sister to help me. I needed Jasper to help me. This was hopeless; I know exactly what will happen. Carlisle will tell me that I am no longer needed to help Jasper and I will be put to sleep again. I will spend centuries in endless reverie until the next vampire comes along. But I'm so tired; I'm so tired of doing this.

I remember it like it was yesterday; I was sitting on my mother's death bed when she explained my curse.

_"The only way to be free my daughter is to find true love. Once you find him and he places a kiss on your lips, you will be what your heart truly desires. If you do not find him, you will spend the rest of your existence serving others." _

I shut my eyes, trying but not succeeding in hiding this painful memory. I want to find this man so that I can finally be happy. Once I find him I would turn into a vampire like Carlisle and change my mate to be with me forever. I have no desire to be human; I have to make up for lost time. I sighed, if Jasper didn't help me learn their language then there would be no way that I could find my love. My curse thrives off need; if I am not needed then I simply drift right back into sleep. That is why I need Jasper to cooperate, but who am I kidding he hates me. I don't doubt that I won't be able to help him with is thirst, but how do I convince him to need me after I am done with my job? How do I tell him that I would have to be around him constantly as a friend or whatever he would allow me to be?

I do not cry in front of the vampires that I help but I have never felt so discouraged in my entire existence. Yes Jasper will eventually come out of the bathroom and we will continue our dance, but there is no hope for me in finding this man. I ran out the room and down the stairs. I need fresh air, I need to let go and cry, then I will go and face my fate.

It felt so good to be outside; I didn't have to be anything but me out here. When inside of the house I have to be this tough, commanding person, but really I love nothing more than to laugh and to listen to someone read to me. They all probably think that I'm some primal girl who doesn't know anything. I do know a lot, I may not go to school like they do but I do know a lot. I let the tears flow freely now, not caring that I was vulnerable. I let it all come out; sobs wracked my chest as I sat on a rock with my head in my hands.

I want them to know me; I want them to know that my favorite flowers are freesias, that my favorite color is orange, that I love the rain. Oh what I would do for rain right now. When I was sixteen I was arranged to be married to a man named Damien. He was twice my age but I loved him with everything that I had in me. On the days when it would rain we would run out together and dance. It was frowned upon by my mother but my father always let me sneak out. We would spend hours outside in each other's arms; laughing and stealing kisses. However after the curse Damien's parents forbade him to see me. He did come once to tell me that he still loved me, but when we kissed the curse remained, so he left. I clenched my hand into tight fists and let the rest of the tears fall down my soaked cheeks. I could feel my nails piercing my hands but I didn't care it would heal in a matter of minutes anyway. I continued to squeeze my nails into my skin; finally I felt the blood drip down my wrists.

There would be no use in trying to hurt myself; I learned long ago that I could not kill myself. I felt the rest of the tears make their way out. I stood up shakily and inhaled and well needed breath. Ok so I have decided to not try, I guess another three centuries of sleep couldn't kill me. I wiped away any evidence of my crying off my face and walked back to the house.

He probably was still in the bathroom. I wouldn't bother him though, we could start again later. I walked

Into the kitchen; hunger was killing me right now. I opened the fridge to find it empty, except for the few bottles of blood that sat in thermos. I would have to wait until Carlisle came back. Oh how I wish he was back already.

Carlisle seemed to be the bond that held the family together, I thought as I left to sit on the grass in the back. All of his children had a deep connection with him; I could see the lines that brought this family together. The only bond that questioned me was Jasper's and Alice's. I had noticed before that the ghostly light that held them together was flimsy and thin. I pushed the thought away from my head; their relationship was none of my business.

How was I going to deal with Jasper? I don't want him to see me as his enemy at all. I do understand how he is feeling though, no one really trusts him. I would guess that with such a big family, Jasper would be getting all of the support that he needs but it looks like they are forcing him to do this. I do not look down at Jasper for his lack of control; I can only imagine how it feels to have everyone think of you as weak. It almost reminds me of the time before my own control. I hated being a monster and I did not understand how my parents could still love me after my change. I knew that behind their smiles and encouraging pushes laid fear. I just wanted them to be honest with me; I wanted them to tell me everything that was on their minds regarding me. I told them how I felt and they in return told me what they felt. After that day I truly knew that my parents loved me and trusted the monster inside of me. This is what I want for Jasper; I want to help make his family realize that he is not weak and not a monster. I shook my head and laughed bitterly; I couldn't fathom why they viewed him as a monster. They honestly do not know the true meaning behind monster. If Jasper in fact was as grotesque as they made him seem, then I wouldn't be here right now. They still have a chance to save their relationship with Jasper before he reaches his limit and leaves.

I sigh and lay back on the grass. There is so much I want to fix with this family, however I cannot help but to feel guilty. Do I want to help them so that in return Jasper will be obligated to help me? Or do I want to help because it makes me feel good to see others happy? I smiled; already knowing the answer to my question. I want to leave this family knowing that I helped them in more ways than one. Falling back asleep isn't as bitter as it usually is, if I know that the family or individual I was leaving behind got more than they thought they would. I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly. I am going to give Jasper back the family he once had, not because I expect anything in return but because I have always been this type of monster.

Monster, monster, monster. It's the only word that comes to my mind when I think of myself. Sure I might be pretty or attractive but it's only on the outside. I used to think that this was the core of my curse; that I would have spend forever trying to cleanse myself of the monster that lives inside of me by helping others. But my curse is so much more than this. My curse doesn't allow me to be free; it holds me captive and laughs at me when I become tired of trying to break the chains.

I stand up from the grass and start to walk back into the house. I shouldn't really be out here; I should be inside, sitting behind that door waiting for Jasper to open it. I do not hate Jasper for having such strong feelings against me; it was to be expected. What wasn't expected on my part was for the Cullen family to be so…beautiful, especially Jasper. The vampires that I was used to training were just like me, but I'm guessing that somewhere in between my sleeping, the vampires must've evolved into the attractive creatures that I am living with today. Jasper's beauty however attracted me more than the others. Perhaps it was because he is the one that I was meant to help. Whatever the reason, I always found myself thinking about his hair and his butterscotch eyes. It was all friendly thoughts though, I told myself long ago, never to get involved with the vampires that I helped, it would just end up messy.

I remember about five months into my change I was helping a young man who was changed and has absolutely no control his thirst. His name was Tucson but I called him Tuck for short. We would spend every day together in his house, laughing, reading and just enjoying each other. It was me who realized that our feelings for each other had progressed into something more. The bond that held him to me was strong and loving, I wasn't sure what to do but I knew that I would reciprocate any acts of love that he gave me. It wasn't until later that I realized that I would only do so much. He thought that since we were romantically involved that I would not be mad if he slipped or didn't feel like training. I had to end the relationship. From then on I promised myself that I would not interfere with business no matter how attractive or loving the person is. Anyway there is no chance that the feelings that I have for Jasper will develop into love seeing as he is married and hates me. Oh why does he hate me?

He hates you because you think you can save him. No, no I know I can save him. I growled; I hate arguing with myself. I can deal with Jasper hating me right? No, I can't. It's not going to make me less excited about helping him but I am going to see the chances of him helping me find my true love, slip away. I need him to like me. That was the last thing I thought before I let my eyes close; sending me into a temporary sleep.

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**Finally we know the key to breaking Bella's secret! Very sad chapter for me to write...i feel bad for this Bella. Will she tell the other's of her secret? And if so how will they react?**

**Do you think she should tell them? Tell me what you think in your reviews! PLEASE lol. Thanks again. Next Chapter: School day is finished and Alice isn't happy to know that Jasper had made no progress, who will be there to help him feel better? *cough Bella cough* lol you never know! REVIEW!!!**


	6. Authors Note

**Hey guys sorry for not posting today...I was visiting my older brother, who I haven't seen in months so I will most def. have something up later tomorrow!**


	7. Fresh Start

**Hey guys sorry for posting so late..it's actually 12:24 right now now exactly sat. but lol i was at church all day! check my facebook profii if you don't belive me lol anyways here is the next post. Finally some JxB moment. Oh and a big big thanks to KG Wulf my new friend, advisor and supporter...thanks for your thoughtful pm's and reviews!**

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**JPOV**

Victory! This is what I thought as I heard Bella sigh and leave my room. I had won this battle and I hoped that this would discourage her from trying to do something like that in the future. However I couldn't help but to feel the slightest twinge of guilt. Bella had almost knocked me off my feet with the feelings that she sent blasting through the door. Where did the sudden rush of emotions, specifically sadness, come from? I pushed the thought out of my head as I stood to my feet. Surely it was all a trick; her waves of sadness were all a plan devised by my family to get me to give in. I could feel the little seed of resentment growing in my dead cold heart. My family doesn't trust me around humans but they lock me inside of the house with Bella, the irony is overwhelming.

I take the moment of separation to lock my door; hoping that it will be enough to keep Bella from coming inside. Flitting to the huge mirror that Alice has placed inside of our room, I look at myself. This is the person my family cannot trust; this is the face of a natural born killer. I'm sure that if Carlisle knew of my past, he would have never allowed me to become a part of this family. But then where would I be? This family is a part of me now…a part of the monster that I have become…or the one I've always been. I violently turn away from the mirror; suddenly hating the face that I see reflected back at me.

I wish I knew their reasons; their true reasons to making me do this whole thing with Bella. In the past year I've only slipped twice. Twice! The word sinks in as I sit on the bed. Two times, I have killed an innocent human for my own selfish needs. How could I try to justify that? Our family doesn't drink human blood; we're vegetarians. But I, only I, couldn't learn to live like the rest of them. Why couldn't I just stuff my past into a box like I've done so many times before? Why couldn't I control it? Just the thought of drinking human blood, is so tempting to me right now. STOP IT JASPER! The rational part inside of me is trying to help me, why can't I listen? But what puzzled me the most was why the family kept me around. Why they won't just tell me to leave, tell me to never come back to their house again? I run a free hand through my hair. It's because they love me, it's because they want me to be the best I can be. Oh I've been so irrational and thoughtless. Bella could be the key to my fix, the solution to all of my problems. And all I could do is yell and push her away.

I yank my door open and run into her room, but it's empty, she's not there. Could I have pushed her to her limit? Her scent is still fresh so she must've just left the room. I follow down the stairs and outside. Is she trying to leave? She hasn't walked far, I think as I follow her scent outside. There she was sitting on a rock…crying. Her chest was heaving in and out erratically, like her lungs were desperately trying to claw at air they couldn't reach. The pain she exuded was so commanding that it knocked me down onto my knees. Before I could stop myself, I was on the ground tearing at the grass. Tearless, silent sobs broke through my chest as I watched her do the same. The pain, the torture that I am feeling is indescribable. What could she be thinking right now? Then it hit me, she is crying because she just realized how much of a monster I really am. She's crying because she has to deal with me. The feeling to redeem myself in front of her shocked me. Why should I care what she thinks about me? It can't be any worse than what my family already thinks of me. My sobs slowed down and I began to release my hold on the grass; my hands still covered in dirt though. Out of the blue I smell it, the potent and delicious smell of blood. I whipped my head up; my teeth bared. There was a small stream of blood cascading down her wrists. Oh God this must be heaven, this smell, this enchanting aroma. I slowly stand onto my feet, ready to pounce. DON'T DO IT JASPER; somehow this voice in my head snaps me out of my trance before I can do anything. What am I doing? I turn the other way and run, I run as fast as my legs can push.

I was going to kill her; I was going to kill Bella because of my lack of control. They were right; I am weak. I stumble into a small clearing and fall pathetically onto the grass. How could I go from feeling sympathetic to murderous? Her blood was like something I've never smelled before, it was so appetizing and so….I would kill to smell that again. I would do anything just to be near Bella not to drain her of her bouquet of blood but just to smell her. Yesterday when we unboxed her, I could only think of one thing. How I could get closer to her. It's no wonder that Emmett killed his singer. The attraction is undeniable; the attraction to her blood, to her scent. I Know that I can control myself when around her but the blood, her blood is enough to send me into my darker days. Was that what she was trying to do? Was she trying to test me? STOP, there's that voice again. I can smile faintly for the wise advice that it gives me. I need to stop thinking like I'm still training newborns or fighting the Volturi, not everything Bella does is strategic…right?

I sit on the grass for just a while longer. There are so many flaws in this plan though. Bella speaks a foreign language. How am I supposed to understand what she says without having Carlisle be there to translate? I guess I could read that book that Carlisle read, but it took him whole year to learn it…I don't have a whole year to waste reading. I wonder if Bella would teach it to me. No, no she wouldn't, she must hate me now. The way she was crying could only mean one thing, that she doesn't want to be here, or be around me. She doesn't seem to like anyone but Carlisle. Well I can't say that for certain since I was not there when she was with Alice. Alice…she seems more excited about being Bella's stylist than the fact that this could be helping us. Sure she said she was looking forward to me being "better" but I could feel the anticipation bubbling in her. She was waiting for Bella to settle in before jumping on her. I'm not sure that Bella would be totally comfortable with Alice poking and prodding her everywhere. What am I saying? I know absolutely nothing about Bella whatsoever. But I think I owe it to her, and my family to get to know her better.

I can hear a car pulling up to the garage; it's a little early for them to be back from school. My eyes flicker to the watch on my hand and I know that I'm dead. It's three a clock, school has been over for an hour already. I wasted the whole day isolating myself in the bathroom. I could already feel the frustration, irritation, and sadness coming from inside of the house. Running fast back into the house I dart through the door. The faces that I meet are of angry and disappointed vampires. Edward is hovering over Bella, who is sleeping. Alice is standing next to Carlisle with her hands on her hips and with a look of vexation on her face.

"Jasper where were you?" her voice lacks the happy bounce it usually has.

"Out…I had to run for a while." I sent a wave of calm towards her.

"No! Don't manipulate my feelings. Jasper you haven't worked with Bella all day have you?" I couldn't lie to them, but I couldn't tell that I spent the whole day locked inside my bathroom either.

"The whole day Jasper?" I turned to Edward; he must've heard my thoughts. "Of course I did," he hissed.

"What did you do for the whole day?" Esme's sweet voice made my guilt increase.

"I…" I just couldn't bring myself to answer.

"What did you do for the whole day Jasper!?" Alice yelled.

I could feel Bella waking from her lethargy. She stared at me intently then at Alice.

"Calm down Alice." She scoffed.

"Calm down? Jasper I can't believe that you wasted this whole day doing whatever! Doesn't this matter to you?"

"Of course it does Ali,"

"Then why don't you act like it? Why don't you act you actually care about this?" her angry was flaring.

"Alice please settle down." Thank you Carlisle.

"I just…I just don't get it. Why is it so hard for you to grasp?"

"Alice," I step towards her but she flits back.

"I can't think right now, I have a headache from not being able to see anything. Please just give me some space for a while."

"Okay." I could give her that.

She darts out the door leaving us all in the living room. Again their faces all project sadness, all except Bella who is feeling…angry? Her teeth are visibly clenched and her browns are furrowed to the point where deep wrinkles form on her forehead. But I can't think of solutions to her anger right now, or solutions to Alice's. I leave the living room and run up the stairs and into my room. I fall onto my bed and burrow my face into my pillow. I feel so angry at myself but more towards Alice. How could she expect for things to work out so fast? Rome wasn't built in a day. I thought that when she came home, I would get encouragements from her, not heated conversations. Maybe she's tired; maybe she tired of always giving me encouragements. Well I'm tired too; I'm tired of always trying to live up to some status quo. I'm not perfect like she is. I growl into my pillow but stop midway when I hear the door to my room being opened. I feel someone sit onto the bed and pause. I'm sure it's Esme trying to cheer me up.

I lift my head and shock ripples through me, why is she here? She smiles quietly and pushes my book towards me. Did she come up here to give it to me? She sighs and moves closer to me, but I don't move because being next to her seems to calm me. She points to a notepad and pen on the bedside table beside me. I take it and hand it her. She looks at me and moves her hand side to side; I understand that she is saying so-so. I nod and she bites her lip, causing the blood to concentrate on that one spot. FOCUS, I shake away the thought of her blood and focus on the picture that Bella is now drawing. She looks at me expectantly and hands over the pad. On the pad she has drawn a person who looks like Alice.

"Alice?" She nods her head and then takes the pad back from my hands. She bites her lower lip again and begins to draw.

She hands it back and looks at me with sad eyes. The picture of Alice has now changed to a picture of Alice yelling at me. Her drawing isn't great but I can understand what she is talking to me about.

"She was mad." Her face scrunches up in confusion. I sigh and think of a way to explain it to her. "Mad." She nods but I can't still feel her confusion. I point to myself and say mad again then I feign anger. "Mad." She nods her head and smiles.

"Mad," her voice is just as enchanting as her blood is. "Mad…mad." She growls and then laughs. "Mad!" I smile and nod.

"Mad." She stops laughing and points to her chest.

"_Mad," _I'm guessing that is mad in her language. I repeat it to her and she smiles.

She grabs the notepad and draws what looks like a muzzle onto Alice's mouth. I can't help but to laugh but she looks serious. She circles the drawing of my face and points to it repeatedly. Her face looks sad and her body emanates it also. I turn away from her and shrug. I can feel her hand on my shoulder; she pulls me back to face her and begins to speak.

"Jasper mad." Her first English sentence. She wants me to be mad?

"No, Jasper no mad." I feel ridiculous speaking this way. She closes her eyes and shakes her head, assaulting me with her scent.

"Alice…" she bites her lip as if thinking of a word. "Alice." She huffs and scratches her black hair. Then she looks up. "Alice…" she pauses again and begins to act out silliness.

"Silly?" she stops and looks at me. "Silly?" she nods.

"Alice silly, Jasper mad." I laugh but she is serious. She moves even closer and takes my hand in hers. "Jasper" Her hand is warm and I revel in the feeling of it. "Alice silly," she says it again but it doesn't make me laugh because know the feeling behind it. I smile and she does too.

"Thank you," She smiles and releases my hand. Her eyes catch mine and I feel like I'm drowning in her pools of green.

She slides off the bed, sliding up her tunic in the process. I know I shouldn't look but I do. I've already established the fact that she is beautiful but seeing her backside just solidified it. I reached out to her, not wanting to be alone.

"Bella wait." I wanted to apologize to her; to make things better. She turned.

"Alice," she lifted up one hand "Jasper" and interlocked it with the other. She wanted me to talk with Alice.

She smiled and walked away. What just happened here? Did I just sit close to Bella, hold her hand and not once think about drinking her blood? I did! If I could do this then I could be back to school tomorrow. DON'T RUSH IT, right, right. It's going to take more than ten minutes of sitting with Bella on my bed, to cure me of thirst forever. But it was a start, a start that I was afraid to make. But not anymore, I'm not going to push Bella, I'm going to be her friend.

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**Remember I can't post unless you review so please leave something! Wow so Jasper wants to be Bella's friend...ugh finally! Next chap. Bella's POV and Bella makes a new friend...not Jasper but another cullen brother. I wonder who it will be? Tell me who you think it is a why! thanks**


	8. Another Friend

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter to Awaken to Serve! I really hope that yall like this chapter and decide to review! PUH-LEEZE REVIEW lol it makes me feel giddy to know what yall think so please just leave a lil something for me! Thanks guys! Until next ch. much luv Jasperbells.**

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BPOV

Someone was yelling, someone was yelling a lot. My eyes fluttered open and for a second I forgot where I was. Then I realized that I had fallen asleep on the Cullen's couch. I blink a couple of times and turn my head to follow the noise. Alice is yelling at Jasper. I look around again to see if anyone is going to stop them but their rooted to their spots, even Edward, who I can't help but to notice is hovering over me. He looks down at me and smiles; I can't help but to smile back. His expression softens for a moment but it quickly turns to seriousness. I turn to look at Alice; she's so loud for a small person. When I was with her yesterday she seemed so…materialistic. I was grateful to her for showing me how to use the shower but after that she wouldn't stop pulling and adjusting my dress. I had to physically push her hands away from me.

Why wasn't Jasper yelling back at her? He just stood there taking it all in. If it was me I would've….but it's not me…its Jasper. Her sharp, shrill voice becomes increasingly annoying as she continues to yell at Jasper. What could she be yelling about? Jasper didn't do anything wrong, I'm still alive. Then it hit me; she was arguing with Jasper because she was mad at him. But for what? Anger rippled through me as I sat and watched her leave. Whatever the reason that she was yelling at him didn't matter. No one, not even Jasper deserved to be treated that way. Especially Jasper, he needed all of the family support that he could get. I grind my teeth down and furrow my brows. This is so ridiculous to me; no one even follows Jasper after he runs up the stairs. Carlisle and Esme look stressed, Emmett looks…I'm not sure but he looks neutral. Rosalie looks like paying attention to her nails is more important than supporting her brother. I get up and shake off my anger. I'm going to talk to Jasper; I think he needs a friend right now. I start towards the door but I feel a hand stop me. I turn to see Edward with a very wry look on his face. I know Jasper won't hurt me but Edward looks so cautious. I reassure him by smiling and then walking up the stairs.

When I get into his room, I pick up the book that we were arguing over earlier and carry it with me. I sit on the edge of his bed and wait for his to acknowledge my presence. He finally lifts up his head and looks at me. He looks like he expected someone else but I can't blame him…he does hate me after all. He doesn't move so I sigh and move closer. He sits up and stares at me intently. How can I tell him what I'm trying to say? I look behind him and see a piece of parchment paper and a writing implement. I point to it and he hands it over to me. I know I'm not very good at writing so I try to motion to him that I'm an okay artist. He nods his head and I use it as a signal to begin drawing what I'm trying to say to him. I bite my lip and concentrate on trying to draw. I scrawl out a picture of Alice, it's not perfect but I hand it over to him anyway.

"Alice?" I nod my head and take the pad back from his hands.

I bite my lower lip again and return my focus to the drawing. I change Alice's mouth to look like as if she is yelling, then I carefully draw and figure who is supposed to be Jasper. I draw him just standing there, looking very submissive.

I hand it back to him and I can't help but to feel sympathy for Jasper, he deserved better. I'm not saying that he should just break things off with Alice, they _are_ married but he needs to fix this with her.

She hands it back and looks at me with sad eyes.

"She was mad." I don't understand him. He sighs but then speaks again. "Mad." I nods, I don't want the language barrier to be too much of a distraction. He points to his chest and then bares his teeth and growls. Is that word means? "Mad," okay I understand.

"Mad," I repeat it to him and he nods back. "Mad…mad." I pretend to be enraged and growl and then laugh. "Mad!" he smiles "_Mad_." I say in my own language, pointing to my chest, not laughing

"_Mad," _He repeats it and I can't help but to like the way it sounds coming out of his mouth. If only I could learn his entire language…fast.

I grab the notepad from him and smile to myself. I draw, quite nicely if I might say so myself, a restraint on Alice's mouth. I hand it back to him and hope that he doesn't take it badly because for some strange reason…I care about what he thinks about me. He laughs but I don't think he understands what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to tell him that Alice needs to shut her mouth. I circle his face and point to it over and over again. I feel sad for him I don't want him to be yelled at by anyone but me…for training purposes of course. He turns away from me and shrugs. Oh no he's not getting away so easily; I place my hand on his shoulder and pull him back to face me. I know that it will sound silly coming out of my mouth but I need for him to understand me.

"Jasper mad." I string along the word I just learned.

"No, Jasper no mad." He replies to me in his language and I can't help but feel a little giddy on the inside, I'm actually having a conversation in their native language

"Alice…" I bite my lip in frustration, how can I tell Jasper that what Alice said to him was unnecessary and that she was being completely clueless. "Alice." I let out a breath of air and scratch my head. How am I going to do this? I look up at him and decide to do the same that he did; act it out. "Alice…" I pause and being to pull at my hair and make weird sounds. I know I'm making a fool out myself but I don't care.

"Silly?" I stop and look at him. "Silly?" That must mean that silly, I nod.

"Alice silly, Jasper mad." I say seriously even though he is laughing. I scoot closer to him on the bed and take my hands into his. His hands are surprisingly cold but it felt…good. "Jasper" I say again, I need for him to understand this too. "Alice silly," I can feel his hand tighten around mine and I know that he understands me. He smiles and I return it.

"Thank you," He says something that I cannot understand but I take it as his words for gratitude. I smile and release his hand. When I look up at him, our eyes meet and for a brief moment, I now know that Jasper and I can and will be friends.

I slide off the bed and start towards the door. I hear him say my name so I turn. His hand is outstretched to me but I don't take it. Right now he needs to go and find his annoying wife, and fix things.

"Alice," I lift up one of my hands and say his name. "Jasper" I then connect it with my other hand, hopefully he'll know that I'm trying to tell him to go and talk to Alice. I smile and walk away, leaving him alone in his room.

Now that I've fixed that little mess, I can finally fix my own…I'm starving. But they don't even have food in where they store it. Curious I walk down the hall and into an empty room. There's no bed but a long black couch. This room isn't as organized as Alice's and Jasper's but it's interesting. I walk over to a bookcase that is filled with what looks like plastic casings. I pull one out and examine.

"Do you like what you see?" I whip around startled and in the process I end up dropping the plastic thing.

It was Edward so I guess this is Edward's room. He smiles a crooked smile and I feel embarrassed. I can feel the flush of red growing on my face. I open my mouth and try to speak but I know it's no use. He walks over to me and bends down to pick up the thing I dropped. I bend down quickly and help him pick it up.

"_Sorry, Edward it was very um…sorry," _I stand up and hand him the chipped object. I look down and mumble more sorry's.

He furrows his brow at me but smiles slightly. I put my hands in my hair sigh. I want to tell him how sorry I am but I know that he won't understand me.

"It's fine Bella really." I look at him confused, is he saying that I am forgiven or that he wants me to leave his room?

Whatever he said I think that it would be best if I just left. I start towards the door but stop when I feel his hand on mine. I twirl around and he shrugs. I smile and he returns it. His smile is almost as nice as Jasper's is. He sits down and pats next him. I bite my lip in hesitation but sit down anyway. He pulls out some sort of device. It's really shiny and has a lot of different buttons and knobs on it. He pushes a button and the top opens. I pull my head back slightly and narrow my eyes. He laughs and puts in a shiny round thing. He closes the top and pushes another button. Suddenly a loud sound comes from the device. I end up falling off the couch and peering at him through my hair.

"It's okay Bella; it's a CD player, music." He offers his hand but I narrow my eyes even more. "Bella," He says my name again so I get up and sit down again.

He points to the device in his hands. "CD player." I frown; I don't understand what he is trying to tell me. I shake my head and he just points to the device again. "CD player."

"CD player?" He smiles and nods. So this device is called a CD player. I listen more closely; the sound being emitted from the CD player is some sort of music. It's beautiful, the music being played.

"_What is that music?" _He furrowed his brows so I point to the CD player.

"CD player?" I shake my head and point to the CD player again.

"_Music?" _I point to my ears and he smiles.

"Music."

"Music?" I put my ear closer to the CD player and listen. I close my eyes and smile. The music is so captivating that I cannot resist the urge to hum the pieces that I heard already. I could feel him pushing it towards me.

"It's yours, if you want it." He laughed and then tapped the CD player. "Bella." I turned my head to the side, "Bella." Was he giving me the CD player? I pointed to my chest and looked at me expectantly. "Yes you may have it if you wish." I smile and nod. He smiles back and stands up.

This time I take his offered hand and stand up with him. He walks over to the shelf with the plastic things again and points to it.

"CD" Oh so the things that go into the CD player are called CD's.

"CD," I repeat it to him and smile. He walks back over to the CD player and puts in the new CD. He walks back over to me and hands me the device.

He points to a round button and pushes it. The music coming out of the CD player sounds more traditional and homely. I close my eyes and sway to what sounds like a stringed instrument. It stops and I flash my eyes open. Edward pulls out the CD but I stop him.

"Sorry Bella but I can't give you this CD, it isn't mine." I tilt my head and place my hands on my hips. "This is for Jasper." I turn my head back, is he trying to say that the CD belongs to Jasper?

"Jasper?" I point to the CD. He nods and begins to put another CD into the player but again I stop him. I really like this CD.

"You like country music?" I nod even though I don't know what it is that he is saying.

Embarrassingly my stomach begins to grumble, I haven't eaten since my last awakening. Edward cocks a brow at me and I know that my face is beet red.

"Sound like you're hungry." I look up sheepishly and pat my stomach. He laughs and starts to leave the room.

Am I supposed to follow him? I'm not sure so I just stand there with the CD player in my hand. He pokes his head through the door with a small smile on his face.

"Follow me Bella," He waves his hands towards the door so I follow.

When we get downstairs I notice that Carlisle is there. I smile to myself; finally I can have an actual conversation with someone without doubting myself.

_"Hello Bella, I didn't get the chance to ask you how your day morning went." _I smile and sit on the chair that Edward pulls out for me. I place the CD player on the table.

_"I had an interesting morning." He smiles. "But I am happy to say that Jasper and I are friends now."_

_"Wow that is great news Bella, so are you two making progress then?" _

_"I'm not allowed to say. I actually like to keep these kinds of things between myself and the person I am helping."_

_"Fair enough. So Edward tells me that you're hungry." _

_"Actually I am but I don't want to be a burden." _He smiles and Edward laughs. _"What's so funny?"_

_"Edward thinks that it's funny that you think it would be a burden to ask for food." _When did he talk to Edward? I thought he couldn't understand me.

_"I thought Edward couldn't understand me?"_

_"You're right but Edward does have the gift to read minds Bella." _I whirled to where Edward stood, leaned back against the counter.

_"Mind reading?" _Why didn't anyone tell me this before?

_"Yes, Edward is gifted with mind reading, Alice is gifted with seeing the future and Jasper is gifted with being able to feel and manipulate the emotions around him…kind of like you." _No, not like me. I can make whoever I am helping become calm but I cannot feel what they feel.

_"Alice can see the future?"_

_"Yes she can, it is a very handy gift to have around but at times quite frustrating," _he laughed.

If Alice can see the future then maybe I should befriend her; I could ask her to see what lies in my future.

_"So Alice can see __**my**__ future?" _His smile faltered and so did mine.

"_Unfortunately she cannot, I think it may be because of you being different than the rest of us."_ I looked down. No it's not because I am different. It's because I'm cursed and always will be.

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**Okay so first I want to say sorry to all of those who wanted Emmett to be her new friend but i think it would be too complicated to write cuz then i'd have to involve Rosalie and i'm not sure what part I want for her to play in this story yet. So gotta ask you guys if you want the next chapter to be in Edward's POV. Review and let me know. Oh and also do you think that the JPOVS are a lil' redundant? just responding to a review. I really want for you guys to see inside of Jasper's mind, but let me know what you think. NEXT CH. it will be either Edward's POV or Jasper's POV and his talk with Alice then the next day of his training. REMEMBER TO REVIEW OR I WON"T KNOW WHETHER TO POST A NEXT CH OR NOT! THANKS!!!**


	9. Guilt

**Okay so it looked like you guys wanted a JPOV and i totally agreed! im going to keep it strictly BPOV n JPOV thanks for reading please please please review thanks guys**

**i do not own Twilight or the song mentioned but i love em both**

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**JPOV**

I wasn't sure what to make of the feelings that flowed through me right now. I am confused, thankful disappointed at the same time. I'm confused that Bella actually came into my room after what I did to her this morning. I am feeling thankful that she did it because I'm not sure that I'd go talk to Alice other than for apologizing. And lastly I feel disappointed because I really thought that Alice would be my number one supporter but after today I'm not sure that is the case.

I hop out the window and begin to run while following Alice's scent. I've known this smell for years and could distinguish it from others fairly easily. I continued my descend deeper into the forest; tracking Alice's saccharine scent. She was standing there with her hands on my hips, she still radiated anger. Did her thirty minutes not cool her down? I walked up to her slowly with my mouth in a tight line. I wasn't going to be that person that Bella drew in her picture; submissive Jasper, shrinking into the corner. She opened her mouth to speak but I silenced her with a raise of my hand.

"Now I believe it's my time to talk Alice." Her mouth hung open with shock.

"But-" She whined out.

"I'm warning you Alice, if you don't let me continue; you won't like who I am tomorrow." That seemed to silence her. I nodded my hand in thanks and began. "I know this is very stressful for you especially since you can't see my future or Bella's, but I need you to understand that it's stressful for me too. I really need for you to be supportive when you come home and that means not throwing a hissy fit. It's going to take more than one day for me to get better; I need for you to understand that. I love you Alice with all my heart…that love is what is driving me to do this, but I don't feel any love from you." She opened her mouth but I continued. "I'm not saying that you don't love me but I need you more than ever right now, so please just give me that and I'm sure in return you'll get what you want." What did she want? She wanted to shop with Bella. I pushed that last thought away. I have to be thinking positive. "Agreed?"

A slow growing smile formed on her lips and within seconds, she was against me. Her kisses were rushed and frantic…not at all like my Alice, but I did not complain because it was better than having her yell at me. I gave into her wishes as she licked my lower lip, opening my mouth for her to plunge her tongue in. Again I was a bit agitated by her aggressiveness; she was usually so sweet and leisurely. I could feel her small body threatening to push me against a nearby oak. I pulled away slightly, only to have her fist her hands into my hair. It's not like I do not find pleasure in assertive woman but I hadn't ever expected it from Alice. Finally I was able to speak as she lowered her attacks to my neck.

"Alice we can't do this here." She stopped her ministrations, grinning into my eyes.

"You're right Jazz…our bedroom would be a better place."

Before I had the chance the chance to object, she was running with my hand in hers back to the house. I sensed her obvious lust but some underlying feelings. She still had doubts about me and I could feel them threatening to explode out the box that she had packed them tightly into. We darted past the front door and continued our sprint to the other side of the house, where we could easily jump through the window we always kept opened. As we pasted the others windows I was hit with a fine distinction of sadness. My pace slowed down as I recognized it as the same tint of misery from this morning…Bella. I don't remember jumping through the window or being pinned to the bed because my mind was busy sorting out the feelings from the room next door.

Alice's lips crashed onto mine again in frenzy as she ground her tiny hips against mine. I responded in kissing her back; not wanting to show my distraction. However my kisses were lazy and sloppy, surely she would notice. But she didn't. Her small hands went to my shirt and began to unbutton it hastily. I half expected for her to rip it off but knowing Alice; she would never ruin a Calvin Klein shirt. I tried to stay focused but my sensed seemed to be focused on Bella's growing grief. Alice moaned incoherently into my mouth as her hands explored my chest. WHAT'S IMPORTANT? The voice in my mind echoed and I struggled to make sense of it. She was watching me with what I felt as ardor, how could I deny my wife my body…my love, when I promised to love her with perpetuity? I closed my eyes and rolled over to be on top of her.

Our "love" making lasted for a couple of minutes and I was dressed sitting on the edge of our bed. I could feel her body lean against my back.

"That was fun." She purred in my ears. Why was I feeling so weird right now? I searched her emotions; the undercurrent of emotions she was hiding still lurked below her feelings. I ignored them, of course she would feel some fear and doubt…if that was what she was blocking from me.

"I love you Alice." She hopped off the bed and into the walk in closet.

"Me too," I could hear her rummaging through some clothes on hangers.

"Are you going somewhere?" I looked over to the clock, it was close to seven.

"Yes Rosalie, Emmett and Edward and I are going to a new club that opened in Seattle." I jumped up from the bed and joined her in the closet.

"Can I come?" I whispered into her ear huskily, while wrapping my hands around her waist. She pulled them off somewhat rudely and continued to get dressed.

"You know you can't," she hissed. I fought back one of my own. "And don't ask why because you should know by now." She walked out of the closet in a very short and revealing gold dress. She twirled. "How do I look?"

"Sexy." I stated plainly.

"I know right? Okay well I'll see you later" she started out the door. I stood there, trying to control my annoyance. "Don't forget to spend time with Bella," She added before flitting down the stairs. I bit back the urge to say yes mother as she left. I followed her down the stairs.

Emmett, Rosalie and Edward all stood there looking just as well dressed as Alice was. Alice was whispering and giggling with Rosalie as they walked out the front door. I could feel Edward's and Emmett's eyes glued to me. I turned to them, waiting for them to talk. They probably wanted to scold me about not training with Bella today.

"Man Jasper you two sure brought the house down." Emmett grinned; I could feel his amusement rolling off in waves.

"It was just an argument Emmett, nothing more." His amusement increased.

"Oh I didn't care about that. I was talking about what you two did _after_, '_Oh Jasper! Growl for me.'" _He said in a high pitched voice which I established as Alice's voice. "The funny thing about it was that poor Bella had to sit there and listen, oh well she probably enjoyed it. It's not like she's going to be getting any soon!" he boomed. Edward and I both hissed at the same time.

"Couldn't you two wait? And you might want to go and give Bella some food, she's hungry" He added before turning his back, dragging a still grinning Emmett.

Edward's feelings of disgust and Emmett's glee still lingered in the room well after they had left. My mind shifted back to the voice I heard earlier: _WHAT'S IMPORTANT? _Had I chosen the wrong thing? Was I supposed to go and see why Bella was in pain? Alice is my wife and I can't just….but I said earlier that Bella would be my friend. Why would she be now? I wouldn't be surprised if she only trained with me and nothing else. But that was what I wanted right? I wanted this to be over with as quickly as possible. But I wanted her friendship too, but maybe I just ruined that chance. She had consoled me and helped me when I was down…why couldn't I do the same?

She was sitting on her bed fidgeting with a CD and CD player. She huffed out in patience as she unsuccessfully loaded it into the CD player. When did she learn to use it? I looked at it closely and realized that it was Edward's. She finally put in the CD in the right way and pushed play. She leaned into it and waited patiently. I instantly recognized the song as my CD. She closed her eyes and swayed.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out_I stepped forward, releasing her from her trance. Her emerald eyes met mine, for a second she looked happy to see me but that happiness quickly faded into panic. She quickly pushed the off button on the CD player and ejected the CD. She struggled to take it out while still feeling alarmed. I walked swiftly to her and placed my hand onto hers. She whipped her downcast head up, condemning my senses with her delicious, intoxicating aroma. I had to break my touch with her while walking away. She must've noticed my apprehension because her hand reaches out and latches onto mine.

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though  
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me

"Jasper mad?" I smile at her newly learned word. I shake my head and allow her to pull me to sit beside her on the bed. She shifts; releasing more of her appealing scent. "Jasper," she hands me my Rascal Flatts CD.

"No Bella's" She tilts her head. I smile warmly, ignoring her scent for the moment. I point to the CD and hand it back to her. "Bella." She smiles and talks into, reveling in holding it in her hands.

She looks down at the CD then gets up, places it in the case and then wraps it in one of her tunics. She pads back to the bed and sits down. She looks up at me and tilts her head again.

"Jasper Alice?" she interlocks her hands like she did before. I cringe slightly realizing that we did more than make up, and knowing that she knew it too. The feeling of guilt came rushing back.

"Yes,"

"Yes?" I nod my head and she smiles weakly. I hear her stomach grumble quietly and remember that I was supposed to give her something to eat. How did she survive two days without eating?

"Hungry?" She frowned and leaned back against the headboard, obviously frustrated with not being able to understand. "Do you want to eat?" Of course she did. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a knowing look: I can't understand you, remember?

I patted my stone hard stomach and pretended to be eating. Her eyes brightened up instantly in recognition.

"_Yes I want food…please," _She spoke in her native language.

"Food?" Her nose scrunched up in confusion. I pretended to be eating a sandwich. "Food,"

"Food!" I smiled and nodded. "Food, Bella food," she pointed to her chest.

"Yes Bella food," she hopped off the bed and nodded towards the door. I laughed and followed her down to the kitchen.

She didn't sit down on the chair that I pulled out for her but instead followed me to the now stocked fridge. I sensed determination in her feelings and realized that she was in teacher mode. I awkwardly shuffled around the kitchen while getting the things I needed to make her a roast beef sandwich. She kept within close range. I pulled out the beef and she made a sound of disgust.

"_I don't eat the meat of animals, it's against my beliefs." _She nodded her head and crossed her arms over her chest, sliding her tunic down in the process to reveal a golden tanned cleavage. I reluctantly pulled my gaze away from them to look at her.

"So you don't like roast beef?" She sighed. This was very hard for me too. I promised myself to spend my free time reading the book that Carlisle had used to piece together Bella's language.

"_NO meat," _she pulled the meat away from my hand and went to the fridge pulling out the lettuce. She held up the lettuce lower than she did the meat, almost like a balance.

"_Yes to this Jasper, no to this." _She moved her hands up and down and I realized what it was that she was trying to say.

"You don't eat meat." She nodded her head cautiously. I took the roast beef from her and put it back in the fridge and began to pull out ingredients to make her a salad. She pointed at one of the thermos of blood so I took it out also.

She didn't stop following me around me as I prepared her dinner. Finally I was finished and I placed it on the counter for her to eat. She pulled one chair close to her and patted it. I looked at her and then the chairs, they were bone crushingly close, how was I going to control being that close? She patted it again more aggressively. If Bella was that emotional when she was sad then I would hate to see her in a rage. I sat down near her and leaned away as best as I could. She looked over and rolled her eyes before grabbing my shoulder to lean it against hers. She sighed happily and began to eat. I couldn't help but to watch as her mouth moved around the fork. Her lips had a raspberry tint to them. She ate slowly, groaning in delight to every bite she ate which in turn made me suppress my groans of my own.

She finished and handed me the bowl.

"Thank you," I smiled shocked at the words she just used; she must've picked it up.

"You're welcome Bella," She smiled but then began to stifle a yawn. She was tired. She pointed to thermos of blood that I had purposely placed far away. I shakily handed it and began to get up but a strong hand on my thigh, stopped me in my tracks. She pointed to the top of the thermos. Surely she knew how to open it. She looked at me then back to the thermos repeatedly times. She sighed and grabbed my hand in her warms ones.

"_Open it Jasper, I know you can do it." _I didn't need to know her language to know that she was encouraging me to open it.

"I can't,"

"_Touch,"_ I remembered the word as touch. How was I going to open that top without attacking her in the process? "Touch,"

I placed my hands on the top and began to twist it. I silently prayed that God would have mercy on my soul after I killed innocent Bella. Nothing could've prepared me for what happened next.

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**OMG CLIFFY sorry guys but i had to do it lol i did those reviews lol so the faster you do it the faster i will tell what Jasper did! REVIEW PLZ!**


	10. A step Back

**So I kno yall wanted it only to be BPOV and JPOV but i after consulting my advisor and friend Michelle, i found out that it made sense to to write it. BTW if you guys want to read a super amazing, fresh, page turning Jasper and Bella story that is in progress right now...then you have to read Freedom's Rise by Michelle Amethyst . If you do not read this story then you will miss out. Seriously i've only come across really good Jasper and Bella stories and this one is definitely goin to be up there. Please read and review that story. **

**Thanks **

**I do not own Twilight but I fricken love making Jasper and Bella a couple...... review plz!!!!**

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Alice POV

I ran as fast as my small legs could carry me, while trying to hold down the doubts that beleaguered my emotions. After Jasper's second slip I knew that my patience with him was running dangerously low. My mind flickered back to that night. I was laying on my bed planning my trip to a fashion show in Milan; I had been waiting months for the date to arrive. Then it hit me; the vision of Jasper killing another innocent human. He has always struggled with our diet but I just thought that he would eventually learn to become one of us. The vision was so nauseating and repulsive, that I had to shut my eyes to avoid falling over. In the end we weren't able to get to the human on time…Jasper drained her until she wasn't nothing more than a limp ragdoll in his arms. The thing that hurt me the most was the fact that I missed my fashion show! I've tried to make things better, really I have but they only seem to get worse.

How can I tell Jasper that I don't believe in him anymore? How do I tell him that is the last straw for me? I love him with all my heart but I miss my old life, I miss knowing that I could leave him alone without envisioning casualties. I paused at an oak tree and stood tall. The feelings I had were threatening to make an appearance. I can't spend my eternity constantly worrying that maybe Jasper will slip. I silently cursed destiny for leading me to this path. No, I can't think that way. This path brought me to this family…my family. It is where I am meant to be. But I can't help but to think about what my life was like before Jasper. I was so carefree, independent and although I didn't have a family…I had my freedom and that was good enough for me. I violently turned away from the tree; I hated thinking about my past. Even though my life before was less stressful, the missing piece of became filled when I met Jasper. Since then, I feel like that pull is slowly loosening. Am I just supposed to give up? I can't just let my family slip from my hands but I can't continue being unhappy. So what do I do? Before I could answer my questions, I felt a presence behind me… Jasper.

He walked up slowly to me. I opened my mouth to speak but his hand went up to silence me.

"Now I believe it's my time to talk Alice." Was he serious? I was the one who was supposed to be mad. What about my life? Does he even know all of the things that I have given up to support him?

"But-" I whined; trying to tell him off.

"I'm warning you Alice, if you don't let me continue; you won't like who I am tomorrow." I couldn't believe that he was saying this to me right now. The Jasper I knew always was calm with me.

He loves me…how can I leave now? How can I give up? But how can I carry on? If Jasper doesn't get controlled soon then I'm going to leave him for a better life. If he could sense this then it would definitely slow down his process, I thought as I quickly shoved and masked my feelings. I needed to distract him from it, knowing how good of an empath he is, he'll be able to feel it. I thrust forward as much lust as I could muster to throw him off.

"Agreed?"

I collided with him with such a force, that I worried that he might realize it was all a guise. I kissed him with as much zeal as I could. Although it was rushed and aggressive, I'm sure that he would just take it as make up kisses. I licked his lower lip and he granted me entrance to his mouth. Thrusting my tongue into his mouth, I explored this mouth with vigor. This was wrong of me, but I need my life back. I miss my old life and this is the only way that I can get both. He pulled away and I panicked. I entangled my hands into his hair and began to push towards him.

"Alice we can't do this here." I stopped and grinned…Jasper was a genius; having sex would definitely distract him.

"You're right Jazz…our bedroom would be a better place." I whispered out seductively. (A/n it was too repetitive to repeat the sex scene so I'm skipping that part...thx)

I remembered that Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and I had planned to got Ultra Violet; the new club that opened in Seattle. I darted into the closet and began to rummage through my clothes. "Me too," I could hear her rummaging through some clothes on hangers.

"Are you going somewhere?" He called from inside of the room.

"Yes Rosalie, Emmett and Edward and I are going to a new club that opened in Seattle." I rolled my eyes as I felt him jump off the bed and into the closet.

"Can I come?" he whispered into her ear huskily, while wrapping my hands around my waist. Was he out of his mind? We were going to be in a dark crowded place full of humans, of course he couldn't come. I pushed his hands off of me and continued to get dressed.

"You know you can't." I hissed. "And don't ask why because you should know by now." I walked out in my favorite golden dress. It was short and showed my small cleavage.

"How do I look?"

"Sexy. "He stated plainly. Of course I did.

"I know right? Okay well I'll see you later" I said while leaving. Don't forget to spend time with Bella," I added before flitting down the stairs. Tonight I would enjoy myself and leave the rest to Bella.

**BPOV**

My hunger instantly disappeared after I heard from Carlisle's mouth that Alice could not see my future. It only fueled my dislike for her, but was unfair of me to feel that way. Could I really expect for her to see my future? A monster's future? No, my curse would never allow such a thing. I excused myself from their eating area and walked slowly up to my room. My life had once been so perfect; I had everything I ever needed and wanted. I remembered the night of my transformation. The pain was unbearable; it felt like my veins were being scraped clean only to have them painfully refilled again. I lay lifeless in the bed while my blood excruciatingly regenerated itself. My mother and father helped me through every day, not once letting me think of myself as a monster. But there was a time where my parent's love wasn't enough. I had once helped a young female vampire named Ella. She was so sweet and kind; I wondered how she was able to stay so calm about being a vampire. One day so caught me off guard crying. I was in my self loathing stage then and her words seemed to bring me out of that world. But who is going to give me those words now? I struggled to keep a hold of myself. I know I'm strong, I know I am. But when I was downstairs I thought that I had finally found a loop hole in my curse. I thought it could be the key to ending my enslavement.

Jasper and Alice must be back from their talk because I can hear the rustling of bed sheets. I close my eyes and try not to listen…it's not of my business. Well it kind of is if Alice plans on hurting Jasper. I hear a distinct moan of pleasure and can feel myself turning red. Of course I knew what they were doing but it does not mean that I wanted to hear it. I was happy for Jasper; his happiness meant a speedy recovery for him. I couldn't seem to shake the blush that grew on my cheeks. I have never been intimate with a man before. Although I've been living for thousands of years; I have promised myself that I would wait until I meet my one and we are tied together in matrimony. It might be impossible for that to happen though, I might never find him.

I reigned in my pain, this time I'm not going to let the vampire that I am helping, see me in pain. I hope that I was able to bring Alice and Jasper together. I'm not her biggest fan but Jasper is important to me now. What affects him affects me. And I refuse to let Jasper be unhappy, I need for him to be happy and if Alice is what makes him happy then I will do everything in my power to bring them together. I know that Jasper does not want my pity and I'm not going to give him any, but I understand completely what he is going through. I know I can't read his mind like Edward but I can see the struggle in him. I'm just hoping that he allows me to be there for him even when he doesn't want me to be there.

Sighing I flip over in my bed to a seated position. It was really nice of Edward to give me his CD player. Edward is someone else in this family, who after Jasper, I feel like, needs help. It must be hard for him to be surrounded by his brother's and their mates. I did not mean to steal Jasper's CD but I couldn't imagine not being able to listen to the music either. The music reminded me so much of him actually, even though I could not understand the words. I pushed the button that I saw Edward push earlier. The top of the device sprang open, this time not sending me into panic. Now which way am I supposed to put this thing it? I put in it and closed the top. I pushed the play button and waited to hear the music. I huffed and took the CD out. Was I supposed to put it in this way? I flipped it over and closed the top. Leaning in; I waited to hear the music that I had be longing for. Finally my needs were met as I heard the music escape from the tiny hole in the CD player. I moved slowly from side to side, let the music soothe me.

I heard a sound and flashed my eyes immediately. It was Jasper! I really wanted to know how his talk went with Alice, but I bet he is angry with me for taking his CD. Panic rippled through me as I hastily pushed the off button. I lifted up the CD but to no avail, it was stuck in some sort of clip. I pulled it up again still in panic. Suddenly I felt a cold hand on mine. I whipped my head up and looking into his amber eyes. He obviously struggled with being so close to me because he began to back away. I reached out and latched my hand on his.

"Jasper mad?" He smiled at me, so I figured that that he wasn't. He shook his head and allowed me to pull him to sit beside me on my bed. I handed over his CD.

"No Bella's" I tilt my heads in confusion and he smiles warmly. He points to the CD and hands it back to me. "Bella." I smile at his kindness.

I get up and place the CD into its protective case and then wrap it in one of my dresses; that way I know it's safe. I walk back to the bed curious to know it Alice and Jasper have made up, even though I knew what they did.

"Jasper Alice?" I interlock my hands like she did before. I notice that he cringes but I cannot see a reason for why he would.

"Yes," I've heard this word so much when the other's talk, so I'm guessing that it means yes.

"Yes?" He nods his head and I smile. I can't manage to smile too much because my hunger is causing me pain. My stomach makes a small noise and I realize just how much I need to eat.

"Hungry?" I frown at the unknown word and lean back against the headboard. "Do you want to eat?" I crossed her arms over my chest. I can't understand you, remember?

He patted his stomach and acted out eating. Oh he was asking me if I was hungry.

"_Yes I want food…please," _I spoke.

"Food?" I scrunched up nose in confusion. He continued to act out eating.

"Food," oh food!

"Food!" I smiled and nodded. "Food, Bella food," I pointed to my chest.

"Yes Bella food," I hopped off the bed and nodded towards the door. He laughed and followed me down to the kitchen.

He pulled out a chair for me and although I appreciated the jester, I think that now would be a good time to train. He walked over to their cooler and I followed closely behind. I was determined to continue our teaching, just because we were friends, it does not mean that I am going to stop training with him. He awkwardly moved around me; gathering ingredients to make something for me. He opened their cooler and pulled out a brownish ingredient that I quickly recognized as meat. I snorted out in disgust. In my family we only ate greens; it was considered a sin to eat meat of an animal. I was still attached to my old ways.

"_I don' eat the meat of animals, it's against my beliefs." _I nodded my head and crossed her arms over her chest, not caring if he understood or not.

"So you don't like roast beef?" I sighed. This language barrier was making things even more difficult. I must remember to talk to Carlisle about a book with translations.

"_NO meat," _I pulled the meat away from his hand, went to the cooler and pulled out a green lettuce. I was going to make him understand my vegetarianism by balancing the two in my hands. I held the lettuce lower than I held the meat to show its importance over the meat.

"_Yes to this Jasper, no to this." _I moved my hands up and down.

"You don't eat meat." I nodded my head cautiously not completely sure of what he said. He took the roast beef from me and put it away. I had not consumed blood in two whole days and it was killing me. I pointed to the thermos and he took it out for me.

I did not stop following him as he created a very interesting combination of ingredients. He tossed in some strange fruits but I didn't complain. He placed it on the counter for me and waited for me to sit. He wasn't going to wait until I was done; we would train while I ate. I pulled one of the chairs over to mine and waited for him to sit. I patted it and looked up at him expectantly. He didn't sit so I patted it more violently. He quickly sat but leaned as far away as he could from me. Come on Jasper! I rolled my eyes and pulled his shoulder to lean against mine. I sighed and began to eat. This was an amazing dish. I wondered just what it was he spritzed over it. I couldn't stifle the groan that escaped my lips when I ate some sort of nut. I finished slowly and prepared myself for the blood. Would Jasper be able to control himself while I drank? No, I'm not sure he'll be completely comfortable.

"Thank you," he smiled at me; obviously shocked by my new word.

"You're welcome Bella," I smiled but then began felt very tired. I would need to sleep soon to begin a new day tomorrow I pointed to the thermos. I need to see just how far I can push him; I knew that this would bring consequences and pain. If Jasper attacks me; it will hurt the both of us. His hands unsteadily moved towards the cap of the thermos. He tried to get up but I placed my hand on his though and pushed down. I looked to the blood and back at him. He didn't move so I grabbed his hands into mine.

"_Open it Jasper, I know you can do it." _I urged him on.

"I can't," I could tell that he was telling me that he couldn't.

"_Touch,"_

He untwisted in slowly; his mouth in a tight line the whole time. He finally moved his hands away from the thermos but they were still shaking. I slowly brought the thermos up to my lips; the whole time keeping my eyes on his. I could still feel him watching me as the cold liquid hit my throat with a cooling sensation. I closed my eyes; lost in the delicious taste of blood. I'm not sure where he snapped but suddenly the thermos was grabbed away from my hands. I opened my eyes to see him greedily gulping the blood. I stood up and tried to retrieve it from him but he was already done. I used all my power to send him calmness but I could feel him resisting.

_"_Jasper," I said in a firm voice. But he was too busy staring into me to notice that I had said his name. "_Control _Jasper_ I know you have control,"_ I could clearly see his eyes go from mud yellow to onyx.

I knew at that moment that there was nothing that I could say, could bring him back. I slowly began to back away. He noticed his and a dark sinister smile formed on his lips. I know that I could not run fast enough to get away but I did know that I am stronger…but I'm not sure that my strength will stop him. He started to walk closer to me and I knew that he was going to attack me. There was nothing I could do but to just let him do it. He would feel guilty later but I know that it would help him to see me in pain. I took another step backwards to egg him on.

He charged toward me; knocking me down onto the floor. I winced as I felt my head hit something very hard. He did not look like Jasper…but truly like a monster. I hated saying it but it was true; Jasper wasn't there anymore, it was the dark Jasper that he had unsuccessfully tried to hide. I took one last look into his dark eyes before he ripped into my jugular. I suppressed my urge to scream as I felt my skin tear under his sharp teeth. My body struggled underneath his as I tried to push him off of me. He pushed even harder into the crook of my neck for more excess. My vision started to become blurred as the pain asphyxiated all of my senses. It was like being alive during surgery; the smarting sensation only grew worse. His hands traveled lower and I could feel him bending my legs upwards, as if to pump the blood into his mouth faster. The vacuuming feeling began as I began to feel my body becoming limp under him. My blood was running low which meant that soon the agonizing torture of my blood regenerating itself.

He didn't stop even when I knew that he was full. My kicking and muffled screams only seemed to fuel his thirst for my blood. I could feel my blood starting his process. The burning seemed to singe through my skin, finally allowing me to scream fully. I writhed under his body like a fish out of water. I made futile attempts to claw away but he was heavy and I was weak. I slowly opened my eyes open to see his on mine. He was watching me in pain. Suddenly he was off of me. I was too weak to lift up my head to look at him; my blood was still trying to fill my veins. My body spazzed a few more times before settling. The burning sensation slowed but the pain rode on. I tried to fight off the darkness that threatened to consume me but in the end I lost and I was swallowed by the darkness.

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**So Jasper attacked Bella! wow! I hope that i surprised you guys with that. What did you guys think was going to happen or what did you want to happen? Let me know in ur reviews plz! Nxt ch. JPOV . Will the rest of the Cullens find out? Or will Bella hide it from them? remember Alice can't see any of the future regarding Jasper and Bella!**


	11. Revealed

**Hey sorry for taking so long to get this up…I just started my first year of college and the work load has been tough…so plz bear with me and I'll try, I promise to get the posts out faster. This chapter is a little short but I plan on posting today so don't worry lol. I've gotten some reviews about the POVS and I agree with some: I'm still going to post the diff. POVs but I'm not going to go over the dialogue. The story is going to be moving faster because of that so I hope you guys like the changes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…just this story**

**JPOV**

"_Touch,"_ She said again. If it was what she wanted then it was what I would do, even thought I was fully aware of the consequences.

I untwisted the slowly; trying not to show my obvious struggle. I put the top onto the counter and handed it to her. I could feel my hands shaking as I brought them into my lap. I watched as she brought it up to her berry colored lips. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as the smell began to penetrate my senses. The sound of the blood sliding gracefully down her throat made me clench my teeth together. Suddenly I could feel the rationality in me splitting. She closed her eyes and all I could do was think about how good it was making her feel. I could feel her pleasure….I needed to taste it too.

I grabbed the thermos from her hand and brought it up to my lips. I wasted no time; gulping it down as fast as I could. Oh it was sweet, how I longed to tasted this. Who cared about the consequences? This is too good to give up. I angrily threw the thermos to the floor; it was empty. She wasn't scared, Bella stood there with her hands clenched. I resisted the urge to laugh…there was no way she was going to make it out of here alive…I wasn't going to let her.

_"_Jasper," She said my name but I was way too far gone to come back. "_Control _Jasper_ I know you have control,"_ Watching her stand there and talk only increased my thirst and want to attack her.

She took small steps that made me smile. I know it wasn't a friendly smile because I could taste the metallic venom pooling into my mouth. She didn't have any fear but defeat…good; it would make it easier for her. She should accept her fate now. I walked closer to her; reveling in the feelings she sent to me. She took another step back and I took that moment to pounce.

I charged towards her, knocking her down onto a small carpet. We landed with a loud crash; our bodies pressed together. Her body felt so good underneath mine, it reminded me of my past. She looked into my eyes for the last time before I forcefully bit into her jugular. There was no gentleness in this as I maliciously ripped into her veins. Bella's blood was like nothing I had ever tasted before. It was so delicious and sweet. I felt a shiver travel down my spine as I continued to greedily suck on her neck. I felt rejuvenated and refreshed…this never happened before. Her blood was hitting a spot that has always been void. I needed more, I needed more of this. I reached my hands down while still consuming Bella's blood. I bent her knees up and growled in satisfaction as a felt a new rush of blood entering my mouth. It was intoxicating; I felt high and couldn't concentrate on one thing. In the process of bending her knees, I was able to get a clear view of her inner calf. I felt my desire spike but not higher than my desire to drain her dry.

I was becoming dizzy but I pushed that feeling away. Bella was going to die tonight and I was going to enjoy it. I was going to enjoy her last minutes before her body would fall limp into my arms. There was no chance for her. I closed my mouth tighter into her neck and inhaled deeply; I always loved the way she smelled. This was what I wanted, this was better than anything Bella could offer me. If every human I killed tasted as invigorating as Bella does, then I wouldn't mind being a monster. I punctured into her veins again and got lost in ecstasy. I slowed my intakes; wanting to savor this flavor before Bella's veins were stripped of its tang.

She started to struggle and I smiled into her neck; this only made it more enjoyable to me. She didn't scream but I know she was holding it in. I wanted to hear her scream; I wanted this moment to live forever in my mind, so that when Bella's body no longer held interest for me, I could close my eyes and remember her shrieks and screams. I wanted to hear her say stop, to beg for a chance at life…I would relish in denying her this. I shifted my head so that I could look into her eyes. Suddenly I could feel a surge of bitter energy running through me. I Jumped away from her and pressed myself tight in the wall.

Her body settled and her breathing slowed. Flashes of images started to ghost over my eyes. They were of Bella…in pain. I staggered back from the intensity of the vision. She was screaming as a dark figure bit into her neck. The image quickly changed to Bella crying with a woman who looked like her mother, comforting her. What is happening to me? I started to get dizzy as the speed of the images increased. What was that voice?

I could hear her thoughts about me. I jumped away from her just as her body stilled and her eyes closed. The images were still clear in my head; Bella was on her bed thinking of ways to help me work things out with Alice. It was amazing; her voice was understandable in my head. My eyes flashed upwards as Bella's body lurched upwards again. Was she changing? No, I know that I had left no blood inside of her for survival. I closed my eyes and was swept back into a Bella's head. I could see that time when she was crying outside, her thoughts were so jumbled together that I could only hear bits and pieces of some. _"I want them to know me; I want them to know that my favorite flowers are freesias, that my favorite color is orange, that I love the rain. Oh what I would do for rain right now."_ It was as if she were here right now; talking to me. But Bella was not talking to me; she was lying on the floor slowly dying. The image then blurred to Bella smiling…at me. The feeling of pure joy was strong; she was happy to be around me.

Why was this happening to me? Does Bella have something to do with this? Bella! I could still hear the quiet fluttering of her heart beat. Why wasn't she dead? At the rate that I was draining her she should be dead. I hesitantly walk over to her. I lift her small body into my arms and stand shakily onto my feet. My mind is still heavy with images, voices and smells of Bella. The memories of Bella are becoming bitter sweet; if Bella dies then I know these images will haunt me forever. I just couldn't resist her, everything about her attracts me. I carefully lay her down on her bed and tuck her in. She probably won't want to talk to me once she wakes up…if she wakes up.

Where was my self control? I don't even remember attacking her, I just remember her pain. I sit on the edge of her bed. She was trying to help me and I did exactly what she did not want for me to do. Another quick image ghosted over my eyes; Bella was talking about some sort of curse. Her voice was sad but hopeful. The voice disappeared. What curse? Not being able to talk to Bella is hard, and after today it will be even worse. I need to learn her language fast, so I can properly apologize to her…so I can be a better friend.

I ran into Carlisle's' study and searched for the book that I remembered he pulled out three days ago. The book was very bulky and I wondered just how long it would take for me to learn it. It took Carlisle about a year to learn it all but he was always busy. I reckon that I can learn it in a couple of days. I headed back into Bella's room. She was still sleeping; her heart quietly regaining energy. I carefully sat at the foot of the bed, opening the book to the first page to find Carlisle's neat script written everywhere. The foreign words were matched up with various words in English. I sighed and began my memorization. I could now understand why Bella said her language was complicated; many of the words were repeated twice with different interpretations. Bella inhaled deeply and continued her restful slumber. I smiled weakly as her heart began to beat at its normal pace. But I was also confused; how was Bella still alive? Of course she couldn't die, not that way at least. She has spent her entire existence with dangerous vampires....she would've been dead by now. I clenched my fists. I feel disappointed in myself. What was Alice going to think when she got home? What would my family think of me? FOCUS, the voice that I had ignored earlier was back and I was grateful. I returned my attention to the book but was bombarded with another thought of Bella's. She was sitting in a canopy bed, dressed in nothing but a cloth covering her bottom and chest. Her beauty was unbelievable as she sat there looking out an open window. Her black hair was shorter than it is now but just as glorious. Suddenly a woman, who I assumed was her mother, came to her side. The face her mother wore was one of a very sullen woman. She began to speak.

_"The only way to be free my daughter is to find true love. Once you find him and he places a kiss on your lips, you will be what your heart truly desires. If you do not find him, you will spend the rest of your existence serving others." _

The image flashed away and I sat there dumbstruck. Bella is cursed and the only way for her to happy is to find true love. Now I know how I will repay Bella….i will help her find this man.

**Okay so thx for reading this chap. Heads up next chapter won't be in Bella's POV it will still be in Jaspers. Plz review and tell me what you think and what you want to happen…I'm open for suggestions lol. Thx guys **


	12. New Beginnings

**Heyy so here is the next chapter. Just as promised, I went straight into Jasper's POVS but Bella has her POV in here too, it continues where Jasper left off. Hope you like the changes. PUH-LEEZE review, it makes me write more! Thx guys and I hope you've all taken my advice and started to read Freedom's Rise by** Michelle Amethyst** trust me when I say that you won't regret reading it!**

**JPOV**

I looked down at her sleeping; what could she be dreaming of? The shock of Bella being cursed still hadn't worn off yet and I was struggling to put the pieces together. I could feel Bella's lethargy wearing off and I wondered if I should help her sleep more. Before I had the chance to do so, her eyes fluttered opened. She searched the room and when her emerald green eyes hit mine she smiled. Her Body exuded happiness as she beamed up at me. Why was she smiling? She should be disappointed in me; angry with what I did. I put down the book; not completely satisfied with what I learned so far but I know it will be enough for now.

_"Are you pain?" _Her smile grew as she jolted upright.

"_You can speak my language!" _I think she said you speak my language.

"_I learned but it's not so good."_ Her jaw dropped down.

"_Oh Jasper this is great!" _She leaned into me and encompassed me in her arms. "_Now there is no barrier."_ I was stiff in her arms but slowly relaxed; I brought my arms up around her back and pulled her closer to me.

"Bella no mad?" I said in English. She pulled away with a worried expression on her face.

"_Mad? Why would I be mad?" _I furrowed my brows at her.

"_I almost killed you," _She reached her hand up and smoothed out my eyebrows.

"_No you didn't Jasper. I am fine." _She said plainly.

"_How? How are you still alive?" _She took my hands into her warms ones.

"_That does not matter Jasper. What matters is that we can continue your training."_ She dropped her hands and got off the bed. She stumbled a bit and I ran to stable her.

"_Maybe you should sleep," _She turned to me; her eyes sad.

"_I'm so tired of sleeping Jasper…I-I…" _She stopped and turned away. "_Come, we have to clean downstairs." _She grabbed my hand again and led the way downstairs.

The kitchen was a mess and there were drips of Bella's blood on the tiles. She quickly bent down and wiped it with a napkin. She then threw it into the garbage disposal and pushed the button. The grinding nose startled her a bit but she continued to clean.

_"Are you going to help or just watch?" _She turned to me with her hands crossed over her chest.

"_Why are you doing this?" _She frowned and walked closer to me.

"_Because we're friends and friends do things for each other," _She turned away straightened the chairs.

"_Friends don't attack friends Bella," _she ignored me and walked over to the sink. I just stood there and watched her hum her favorite song…Rascal Flatts.

She finally finished her ministrations on the tile and washed her hands. She twisted towards me and reached out her hand. I took it without hesitation and followed her outside into the night. The wind was blowing hard and it whipped her hair into my face. She stopped at a top of a hill and sat down.

"_Sit,"_ she patted the ground. I obediently sat beside her. She was looking out into the distance. "_Did anything happen to you after you drank my blood?" _She kept her gaze up on the sky.

"_What do you mean?" _She turned to me with her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"_Did anything happen to you or not Jasper?" _She was shaking.

"_Yes something did," _her face returned to its worried expression.

"_So you know now," _She turned back away.

"_That you are cursed?" _She laughed bitterly.

"_Oh it's so much more than that Jasper." _She faced me again. _"Tell me exactly what my blood did to you." _I sighed. "_Please,"_

_"I could see events that happened in your past. It was so real; I could smell and hear you."_

_"Hmm," _She did not look surprised at all.

"_That's all you have to say?" _Her expression did not change.

_"It's happened before Jasper," She turned fully to me. "My blood has a special energy that affects people who taste large amounts of it."_

_"So you've been attacked before?" _She laughed again.

_"Every vampire that I've worked with has attacked me Jasper, it's a part of the job,"_ her smile disappeared.

_"Why didn't you tell me about your curse before?" _She laughed sweetly.

_"It is not like you would have understood me if I had told you. Anyway, I do not like to incorporate my personal life in my business life."_ She sighed deeply. _"How were you able to learn my language so fast?" _She asked; changing the subject.

_"I'm not sure but I think your blood had something to do with it. When I saw into your past, I could hear your voice in perfect English but I know you were speaking your language."_ She smiled and leaned into me, however it did not bother me at all.

_"I'm glad that you learned it Jasper, I was beginning to feel lonely."_ She raised her head up and looked up at me. "_We are not going to tell the family of what happened today, understood?"_ I pulled away from her and stood up.

_"Why not?" _She did not stand with me but instead lowered her head and played with a stick.

_"Your family…your family is not supportive at all. Maybe Carlisle is to some point but your family lacks foundation Jasper."_ Why did I feel angry all of the sudden? Was it the effects of her blood? No I was angry because she was insulting the only family I have. Or was it because she was right?

_"That is not true Bella; you don't know what you're talking about." _She scoffed and stood up.

_"Jasper, I've been alive longer than you have and I've seen families just like yours. I know your family forced me on you, and their decision was based on the lack of support and trust. They love you; don't doubt that, but no one even came to your rescue when Alice was yelling at you."_

_"That doesn't mean anything." _She stepped even closer to me.

"_That means everything Jasper." _She took my hand into hers and started to walk back towards the house. _"But I'm going to make that better…I promise." _She turned her head to look at me. She sat on the couch and I sat beside her.

_"Are we not going to tell my family about your curse either?" _She didn't look at be but instead fiddled with the remote.

"_No we are not," _Now it was my turn to laugh. _"What is so funny?" _

_"The fact that you don't want anyone to know that about you" _She scrunched up her face. The sun was rising and I know that the others would be back soon.

_"I never said that."_ Her tone was somewhat bitter. _"I just want to focus on you first."_

_"I want to help you too," _She looked at me.

"_What?" _The shock was evident in her voice.

"_I want to help you find your true love," _She looked sad.

"_Why do you want that?" _Now I was confused.

"_Why wouldn't I?" _She sighed heavily.

_"Excuse my shock Jasper but no one who has known about my curse has ever wanted to help me."_ She bent her head down. "_Can we promise to help you first?" _Her eyes held mine.

_"How about we work together?" _She smiled just as the front door opened.

"_Deal," _She held my gaze until I looked at the door.

Alice, Rosalie,Edward, Emmett walked into the house and towards us. Alice was feeling hopeful as she bounced over toward us. I could hear Bella mumble_ 'oh great' _and I took everything I had not to agree with her. Alice was hiding something from me and I was determined to figure out what it was.

"Did you two make progress tonight?" I looked over to Bella who had her face tight in confusion.

"You could say something like that, yes." She clapped and jumped into my lap.

"I'm so happy to hear that Jazz!" Bella slid off and the couch and walked to lean against the wall.

**BPOV**

I did not want Jasper to know that I disliked Alice but her presence was truly unbearable to me. I leaned against the wall and watched as she ogled and handled Jasper. I'm not sure what Jasper saw in her but whatever it was, it must be really something. Alice just had something very superficial about her and it didn't rub me well. I was just about to walk upstairs to my room when Edward ambled over. He held a bag in his hand which made me wonder. He smiled and nodded his head in hello, I smiled and nodded back.

"Bella?" His eyes were directed toward my neck where Jasper bit me. My hand flew up to the spot, it must've healed by now.

"Edward?" He pulled my hand down from my neck but looked confused. He muttered something in his language and shook his head. His smile returned as he gave me the bag. "Edward?" I asked again.

"It's for you" I sighed; I really need to learn this language.

_"Bella?" _I pointed to my chest and he nodded. I rummaged through the bag until my hand felt something hard. I pulled out the mystery object and held it up. It was a CD. I smiled in glee and pressed it against my chest. "_Thank you!" _He laughed and pointed upstairs.

"CD player?" I nodded enthusiastically and followed him up the stairs but not before shouting to Jasper. "_Jasper, tomorrow we will meet outside okay?"_

Edward looked confused but I just continued to walk up the stairs. Once in my room, I grabbed the CD player and handed it to Edward. He unwrapped the CD and placed in into the player. I waited patiently for the music to flow out. When it did, I could not help but to feel disappointed. The music was elegant but not what I expected. I walked over to the CD Jasper had given me and handed it to him. He sighed and ran a pensive hand through his bronze hair.

"I got you the wrong type of music, didn't I" He looked worried and instantly regretted showing him the other CD. I pulled his hand out of his hair and pointed to the CD he gave me.

_"I like this one too Edward." _There was a shuffle at the door so I turned.

"She said that she likes this music too Edward," Carlisle was standing at the door and I immediately felt relief.

_"Tell him that I appreciate him giving me this gift." _I listened as Carlisle translated. Edward smiled bashfully and shrugged his shoulders. He reminded me of a shy little boy. I smiled back and yawned; tomorrow I would be waking up early and I was tired.

"_How was your night Bella?" _

_"Very productive, Jasper is moving right along schedule."_ This was true.

_"That's great. Well we should let you get some sleep, it's very late." _I nodded and walked them to the door. They left said good night in their language and I did in mine.

I sauntered back to the bed and tucked myself in. I was excruciatingly tired and closed my eyes and awaited sleep…but it never came. I sighed in frustration and kicked off the blankets. Although I was tired, it wasn't the kind that could be cured by sleeping. I was tired of my routine. I know well enough to say that once Jasper is "cured", my afterlife welfare will not come to his mind. I do not doubt his friendship but I know well enough to say that he will be too happy with his new life to remember me. How would I be able to explain that he would have to need me to be around...how would Alice act? I turned to my side and huffed. The sun was already making its full appearance and I had not slept at all. I was too excited to sleep; the thought of finally being able to talk Jasper ignited a strange spark in me. I do not usually enjoy the company of the vampires that help but there is small part in me that wishes to be in his company right now. That is very foolish of me, considering that he has a wife for companionship. But I feel bad for Jasper sometimes; I often think about whether or not telling him about his failed bond, but I know that it is not my place to do so. I get out from the bed and walk over to a window.

The sun shines through the shades I made and I cringe. Although the sun is covered loosely by gray clouds I walk away from the window and sit on the edge of my bed. I just cannot pull my mind away from Jasper's relationship with Alice. Alice's side of the bond looks very strained and forced while Jasper's is unrelenting. How could I possibly break bad news to him when he still wants to make things work? I groaned and fell back onto the bed. I stared up at the powder pink ceiling and groaned again. Being in this room was frustrating me even more.

I opened my door and started down the stairs. Esme was in the kitchen cutting some flowers while humming. She smiled when she saw me waved me over. I smiled back and sat onto one of the chairs. Esme was very beautiful and reminded me of my mother in some ways. The way she looked like as if you could tell her anything, was welcoming to me. She bit her lip and tilted her head to the side while looking at the flowers.

"_They are beautiful Esme."_ She looked at me and tried to hide her confusion. I leaned in and smelled the flowers. They smelled just as delightful as they looked. Esme smiled in return and continued to trim the yellow flowers.

I heard a faint yelling coming from upstairs and instantly knew it was Alice and Jasper. I was right; Alice came down the stairs. Her face was flustered as she came stomping into the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and turned away from her sight.

"What's wrong Alice?" I heard Esme ask her a question which I assumed to be: what's wrong?

"Jasper doesn't want to tell about his day with Bella," I heard him say my name so I turned my head and stared at her.

"Well it is his decision Alice, you must learn to be patient." Alice rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips.

"Bella," She batted her eyelashes and pouted. "Would you like to take a walk with me?" I scrunched up my nose and shrugged my shoulders. What did she want from me?

**Is it only me or is Alice annoying as hell? Will Bella change her mind about revealing the truth to Jasper or will she keep it a secret. How will Jasper help Bella find her true love. Next Chap: Bella and Alice have a talk...will Bella play nice? Also fluffy moment between Jasper and Bella, is this what you've been waiting for....lol i don't rush things remember! REVIEW and tell me how you think Bella will react towards Alice.**


	13. Progress

**YAY another post! lol I promised my good friend Michelle that I would post today so here it is! I will prolly post either Thursday or Friday.... Please Review and tell me what you think!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight...I just love pairing up Jasper and Bella!**

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**BPOV**

She stood there with a very annoying smile plastered on her face. I looked down at her outstretched hand and instantly knew what she wanted from me. I pretended not to understand what she wanted from me as I looked at her. She huffed out in exasperation and screamed out to Carlisle. I had to duck my head to avoid the shock of her shrill voice. Carlisle came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. I tried to make contact with his eyes; to make my silent plea.

"Is there something wrong Alice?" She smiled sweetly at her father.

"Can you ask Bella if she would like to take a walk with me?" she turned to me and awaited his translations.

_"Bella would you like to take a walk with Alice?" _I looked out the window, it was now daytime.

_"Well I really should be tending to Jasper right now." _Carlisle nodded his head and turned to Alice. I listened to the translation and watched as Alice's smile withered.

"_Alice would really like to walk with you Bella, I'm sure it won't take too much time."_ I mentally rolled my eyes and nodded. It was not in my nature to be rude but I'm sure Alice would change that very soon.

I followed her bouncing figure outside into the cold morning air. She stopped abruptly and turned to me. We were distant from the house and far from earshot. Alice turned to me with a sour smile. I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned against a tree.

"Bellllaaa," She lengthened out my name. She bit her lower lip and looked down coyly. I had to suppress my urge to strangle her efforts of talking to me. "I really want Jasper to get better…fast." The only thing I understood was Jasper's name.

"Jasper?" She smiled wildly and nodded her head.

"Yes! Yes, Jasper. Can you tell me what you two did today? I noticed that his eyes were…well brown" Again I was lost. Did she forget that I did not know her language? "I would like to have a timeframe, so I can start planning my trips." Whatever she said sounded completely self-absorbed and I could not help the scoff that came out my mouth. "Bella?" She did not sound angry but not too happy either. "Do you understand me?" Okay now I was on the edge of my rope. I uncrossed my arms and planted them on either side of my hips. I walked up to her face and stood still.

"No," I said the word in her own language then stormed off towards the house without a second glance back. I walked into the house and up the stairs and into my room.

I was surprised to see Jasper sitting on my bed. He was looking down at the carpet on the floor.

"_Jasper?" _He looked up at me and smiled weakly. I crossed over to him; seeing the evident pain in his eyes.

"_The family knows something is up Bella." _I nodded as I sat onto the bed. He wasn't sitting close enough to me so I slid closer to him.

"_What do you mean?" _He turned to me and I saw his eyes…they were brown. "_Oh that." _He turned his head back around and continued to stare at the floor.

"_Why didn't you tell me that this would happen?" _His voice was calm. I forced him to turn to me.

_"Because this has never happened before, usually my blood has no effect on eye color." _He furrowed his brows and ran a hand through his honey blonde hair.

_"They think I attacked someone Bella," _I sighed, I hated seeing him so disappointed. I took his cold hands into mine and held them in my lap.

"_Then I will tell them different." _He pulled his hands away and laughed cynically.

_"Not everything in life is so easy Bella," _I groaned.

"_When did I ever say that things were easy?" _I grabbed his hands back and held them tightly. _"I will tell them that I caused you eye color change." _He looked up at me. "_I will tell them that I have the gift to do so." _I released his hands and laid back onto the bed.

"_You make things easier though." _He said as I motioned for him to lie next to me.

"_It's my job Jasper." _He stiffly moved beside me. "_Relax Jasper; I'm not going to bite." _He laughed.

"_Do you hate your job?"_ I lifted myself up onto my elbows and looked down at him.

"_I don't right now." _I stared down at him then flopped back down onto the bed. "_But I'm sure that I will the next time." _I said while resting my head on his stone chest. I could feel his body stiffen again so I calmed him. "_We need to work on close contact. Hold me."_

_"Bella, I'm not so sure if that is a good idea." _I looked up from his chest.

"_And why not? I know you're not going to attack me."_ He sighed and tried to get up but I held him down. "_I really don't want to fight with you Jasper," _

_"I have a wife Bella," _I couldn't help but to start laughing. He looked confused.

_"The last thing I want to do is to become in between your and __**wife**__, Jasper, but this will not interfere…I promise." _Before he could answer, the door was opened. Carlisle stood at the frame with a worried expression on his face.

_"Sorry to um interrupt but we would like to see Jasper downstairs." _I removed my hand off of Jasper's chest and got off the bed.

_"I will accompany him," _

_"I'm sorry Bella but this is a private matter," _I grabbed onto Jasper's hand.

"_This is my time with Jasper, if you need to talk to him then I must go too." _

_"Bella it's okay." _Jasper said while pulling his hand away.

"Jasper you learned her language?" Jasper nodded. I stood there and watched their quiet exchange. Finally Carlisle turned to me.

"_You two really have made great progress; you are welcome to come Bella."_ I smiled and tried to hide my annoyance but Jasper gave me a stern glance which helped me rein it in.

The whole family was standing downstairs when we arrived. Edward smiled bashfully at me and I smiled back but followed Jasper to a white couch. I motioned for him to sit but he refused.

"_Sit down Jasper. I'm still doing my job remember?" _He sighed and sat down. I plopped down beside him. I could hear Alice growl but I did not care; I slid even closer to Jasper.

**JPOV**

Why was Bella being so protective of me? I felt her crunch herself into me even more. Carlisle looked weary as he made his way over to the fireplace. I looked over to Alice, she was still radiating angry. When she asked me why my eyes were brown, I didn't have an answer for her so she stormed off.

"Jasper, we all have been supportive of you throughout this whole process, but we haven't been getting the same from you."

"What do you mean?" Bella exuded confusion but I did not translate for her.

"We need you to be honest." Carlisle sighed out. "Did you attack a human?" No I did not. Bella groaned audibly and stood up.

_"Could you please translate?" _Carlisle looked at Bella and nodded.

"_Did Jasper attack a human yesterday?" _She dropped her mouth open in feigned shock.

"_Why would you ask such a thing?" _Her acting was believable.

"_Jasper's eyes are brown Bella," _She turned to me and shrugged.

_"I made them brown." _Carlisle furrowed his brows and translated for the rest of the group.

_"You made them brown? How did you do that?" _Bella turned away from me and sighed.

"_I did not want to tell anyone but I also have the gift to alter eye colors," _Carlisle smiled.

"_That is amazing Bella! How does it work?" _She plopped back down beside me taking my hand in hers.

"_I have to have a strong connection with the vampire I am helping."_ Carlisle couldn't stop smiling.

"This is amazing Jasper."

"Well do we get to know?"Alice whined.

"Bella can will eye colors to change." Alice clapped her hands together and bounced towards us.

"_Oh great," _Bella mumbled.

"Can she do me next? I've always wanted to have blue eyes, that would look so nice, wouldn't it Jasper?" Honestly I didn't think so but I nodded anyway.

"Alice she can only change the eye color of vampires in need. She also needs to have a strong bond with that vampire." She slouched.

"_What did she say Jasper?" _Bella leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"_She wanted for you to change her eye color too," _

"_Oh I think I can find a way." _She snickered. I nudged her with my arm tried to refrain from laughing.

_"This is very interesting; I did not find any information about this." _Bella stopped laughing.

"_Information?"_

_"Yes, I read about you in a book."_

"_There's a book about me?" _Carlisle smiled and nodded.

"_Of course there is, would you like to see it?"_ She nodded her head and bit her lip. Carlisle walked up the stairs and I took that moment to process her emotions. She was feeling very distressed and angered at the same time.

_"Are you okay?" _I whispered into her ear. She turned to me, her eyes glistening.

_"Why is there a book about me?"_ Before I could answer, Carlisle came down the stairs with a very old book. It looked as if it could fall apart any second. I could hear Bella's heart rate hitch as she made contact with the book.

_"It is very old but this is how I acquired information about you," _

_"My journal!"_ Bella jumped up and grabbed it from Carlisle's hand.

"_Bella this is your journal?" _She didn't answer Carlisle as she slowly fell back down onto the couch; hugging the journal tightly to her chest.

She was giving off waves of nostalgia as she clutched onto it. A single tear ran down her cheek and I suddenly felt the urge to comfort her. I wrapped an open arm around her shoulder, ignoring the tempting smell she gave off, and pulled her into my side. She snuggled deeper into my side and quietly sobbed. Alice pouted and leaned down to rub her back.

"_If she touches me again she will lose that arm Jasper."_ I looked at Alice and her hand stopped moving.

"This is a lot for her to take in, why don't we give Bella and Jasper some time alone." I smiled gratefully at Carlisle and he nodded.

Everyone left except for Edward, who stood motionless against his wall. His was feeling indecisive about something. At once, I knew that he was considering whether or not talking to Bella. I had noticed a sudden spike in his interest for her and I know that it would take a lot for him to become uninterested.

"Edward?" His eyes met mine.

"Is she okay?" He was genuinely concerned. Bella wasn't crying anymore but she was tightly gripping the book and my arm.

"She will be okay, her shock is wearing off." He nodded and stepped forward then back.

"Okay well um….I'll just go now." Edward started to move towards the door when Bella raised her head and wiped her cheek.

_"Sorry about that Jasper, I was just overwhelmed" _She looked up at me but followed my gaze to Edward. "_What's wrong with him?" _I laughed. Edward was suddenly very shy.

_"He was worried about you" _She furrowed her brows and wiped her under her nose.

"_Tell him I'm fine, tell the whole family they can come back in Jasper." _She opened her journal.

"_Are you sure?" _She smiled up at me and nodded. She turned to Edward and waved him over.

The rest of the family came in and sat on the other couches. Bella looked up from her journal and sighed.

"_Where did you find this Carlisle?" _Her voice was suddenly strong.

"_It was a long time ago, was while I served on the Volturi Guard."_

_"Where?" _Her voice was slightly harsh.

"_At an excavation more than fifty years ago." _He stressed.

_"And you just took it?" _She practically yelled so I sent her a wave of calm.

_"I can understand your frustration Bella. I had no clue it was a journal."_ Bella sighed and looked down.

"_Please excuse my behavior Carlisle but you must understand that this was never meant to be seen."_

_"I am very sorry to hear that Bella, I did not mean to intrude." _She flipped open a page.

"_I would write from another point to of view to make it hurt less. I started write in it after I was changed, it helped keep me sane."_ She paused and looked at me. _"Every day was a battle for me…" _She stopped and closed the book. "_I want for you to have it Jasper." _She placed it into my lap and smiled.

Why was she always helping me more than she should? I could not stop the smile that crept onto my face. I could show her just how much I wanted to help her too.

_"Bella just tell them," _She shot daggers at me.

_"Tell us what?" _Carlisle asked.

If the family knew of her curse then we could all help her together. Isn't this what she wants?

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**Hope you guys liked this chapter...things will start to move along faster, not the relationship but just the days. Will Bella tell the family of her curse? And is it me or did Jasper seem a tad bit wierd about the whole Edward thing? Hmmm that might be a clue to what will happen in the next chapter!! lol planning on some DRAMA!!! REview plz and tell me what you think i have planned or what you want to see happen. Thnk again guys**


	14. Discoveries

**Hey guys! Here is the next chapter!!! As stated before, I have changed the way that I have written the POVs. If there is something that happened in Bella's POV and you wanted to know what Jasper was thinking and vice versa, just leave a review about it and i'm sure that I can post it for you in somewhere lol. Anyways I really hope that you guys have been taking my advice in story choices, If you haven't do it now: go and read Freedom's Rise by Michelle Amethyst .net/s/5323428/1/Freedoms_Rise trust me you won't regret doing so.....REVIEW please! Reviews are boost of encouragement! Thanks guys **

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**BPOV**

I could strangle him, I thought, I could literally wrap my hands around his throat and strangle him. Why was Jasper putting me in this situation? I could not tell the family of my curse just yet. For a second I felt betrayed; I had trusted Jasper with this secret and I thought that he would respect my wishes. I quickly thought of a way to switch the angle of the question.

"_What is it Bella?"_ I bit my lower lip and brought my hands up to my black hair.

"_Well I just wanted to tell you that I would like to learn your language."_ I smiled sweetly and secretly glowered at Jasper.

_"Really? Well that's great Bella, I'm sure that the hospital wouldn't mind me taking a couple of days off to assist you." _I sighed in relief.

"_Oh, I do not want be a burden Carlisle, I'm sure that Jasper will be willing to help me."_ I smiled at Carlisle, hoping my façade was holding up.

_"Looks like you got this all planned out. I'm sure that you will learn fairly quickly."_

_"Yes, Jasper is a very good teacher." _I looked over to Jasper and smiled.

_"I'm sorry to have interrupted you two." _

_"Its fine Carlisle, your concern about Jasper was…nice."_ It really wasn't support. I'm sure that if I hadn't come downstairs with Jasper, his family would have assumed the worse.

_"Have a good night." _I smiled and looked over to Jasper. He had an unreadable expression on his face.

_"Let's go Jasper." _He turned to me and smiled sheepishly but I could not bring myself to smile back…a part of me felt betrayed. He turned to Alice and said something and then turned back to me.

When we got upstairs I was still feeling angry at Jasper and I was sure that he felt it. I trusted Jasper with my secret; I thought that I could tell him and not have to worry about anyone else knowing. I climbed into my bed and turned my body away from him. I could hear him sigh but I did not care. Hopefully in the morning I will feel better.

_"Get in the Bed."_ I said before closing my eyes and drifting off in bitter sleep.

I inhaled deeply and flashed my eyes opened. On the side of the bed sat a feast of delicious smelling food. I sat up and looked around the room, where was Jasper? My question was quickly answered as Jasper entered the room with a pitcher of an orange colored fluid. He looked weary and guilt came crashing into me. Was he really feeling this bad? I sighed and narrowed my eyes at him.

_"What-"_ He put his hand up so I stopped.

"_I shouldn't have done that yesterday, so I wanted to apologize." _

"_My gorging me with food," _I said with a hint of a smile on my lips.

"_I don't know what you like so I just made everything." _He sure did I thought as I took another glance at the many plates before me.

_"Thank you, but I have to tell you that in the future, I will not be so easily persuaded by food." _I grinned while picking up a piece of toasted bread. He grinned back while sitting down on the edge of my bed.

I picked up another piece of food and brought it up to my mouth. It was drenched in some sort of brown sweet liquid. I could not stifle the moan that vibrated through my chest. I closed my eyes in reveled in the sugary ecstasy that my mouth was experiencing.

_"Those are called _Pancakes_." _His voice pulled me out of my euphoria. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Pancakes? _That is a very strange word. But these taste amazing!" _I added before shoving another round pancake into my mouth. I could feel the thick brown syrup dripping down my lips.

**JPOV**

I watched as the maple syrup dripped down her lower lip. I grabbed onto the edge of the bed as she slowly licked if off.

"Mmmm Pancakes." I had to fight off the growl that was threatening to rip through my throat. She opened her mouth and blushed slightly when she saw that I was watching her. "_What about this one?" _She pointed to the French toast I had made.

"French toast."

"French toast _and what is the white powdery stuff?"_ She said while dipping her finger into it.

"Powdered sugar. _Powdered Sugar" _She looked up and put her finger in her mouth and smiled. She ate the res t of her food in this same fashion while I watched.

"Thank you Jasper." I nodded and joined her on the bed.

"_I'm going to take a bath, but before I go I want to talk about what I said yesterday to Carlisle."_

_"Which part?" _She bit her lip and scooted over towards me.

_"I really wish to learn your language, but I do not want to distract you from reaching your goal." _She really did care that much.

"_Bella, I would be more than happy to help you learn English."_ Her eyes lit up and she grabbed my hands into hers.

"_Thank you so much Jasper. I will forever be thankful." _She dropped my hands and got off the bed. "_You can have this morning off Jasper. I will find you in the afternoon."_ She said before disappearing into the bathroom.

**BPOV**

I closed my eyes and said a silent thank you as I climbed into the tub, for being awakened by Jasper and his family. Jasper was proving to be a very pleasant surprise, I really expected for him to be self-loathing this morning. I slipped into the tub and let my head go underwater. Memories flashed through my mind. I remembered those months after my parent's death, I was so depressed. Living didn't seem like an option so I tried to end my existence in so many ways, drowning bei

ng one of them. I opened my eyes and watched the bubbles float to the surface. I was different then; accepting my curse and my parent's death seemed unbearable. Now, although I still have moments of doubt, I have learned to live with this curse.

I brought my head out of the cold water and exhaled out unnecessarily. I felt hope though; this could be the one of the last servings I would ever have to do. If I was able to learn English then I could find this man that secretly held the key to my heart and freedom. I got out of the tub and wrapped my clothes around me. I quickly got dressed in a black and gold dress that stopped mind thigh and laced my mom's necklace around my neck. If anything were to happen to this necklace I'm sure that would not be able to continue my existence. I fingered the golden chain around my neck and held onto the diamond that hung in the middle with my other hand. I whipped my head up when I heard a quiet knocking at the door.

_"Come in,"_ I said, but the person on the other side never came in. "Yes?" The door creaked open and Edward poked his head in. I smiled, although I was a bit confused by Edwards's sudden interest in me. A couple of days ago he didn't even acknowledge my existence and now every time I see him, he seems very happy to see me.

He smiled a crooked smile and shuffled into my room.

"Hello Bella," he nodded slightly.

"Hi Edward." I smiled back and dropped my hand away from my necklace. He looked at it and smiled.

"That is a very beautiful necklace Bella." I bit the inside of my cheek and shrugged my shoulders. He sighed and ran his hand through his unruly bronze hair.

"_This was my mom's necklace Edward."_ I took one look at his perplexed face and shook my head.

"Hmmm," he sighed out. "I want to show you something Bella, would you come with me?" He got off the bed and reached a hand out. I placed my hand into his cold one and allowed him to lead me down the hall and into a large room.

"Edward?" He grinned as he led me to a bench. In front of the seat was some sort of large object. He sat down beside me and placed his hands on the white keys.

"Piano music." He smiled and began to push down. I jumped slightly when a soothing melody began to fill up the room.

"Music," I said dazed. I closed my eyes and swayed to the interweaving harmonies. It wasn't like the CD I had in my room but I still found myself mesmerized. The music suddenly stopped and I turned to meet a smirking Edward. I crossed my arms across my chest and pouted. "Please," he smiled and nodded his head.

I was swept back into a world of peace and tranquility as he continued to produce a hypnotizing melody. However there was a part of me that missed the CD that Jasper had given me. I stopped moving suddenly remembering that I told Jasper that we would meet later. Edward noticed and stopped playing.

"_Jasper, I have to go to him,"_ Edward smiled in understanding. I got up to leave but felt his cold hand on my arm. I cringed at the piercing electricity that ran through me…a bond was just made. I looked down between Edward and I and saw the ethereal tie that linked Edward to me.

"I'll see you later Bella," I bit my lip and turned to leave. Once outside of the room I began to panic. Edward just made a link with me but why me? This connection wasn't one of friendship but of budding love. How could Edward love me? We haven't even had a real conversation yet. I did not treat him any differently than I did Carlisle, so why was Edward interested. I cursed under my breath and walked into my room. I couldn't help the smile that pulled at the corners on my lips as I walked into the room. Jasper was sitting on my bed. He looked up from his hands, which were folded in his lap and smiled.

_"I thought I was going to find you," _I said while walking up to him.

"_I didn't have much to do so I thought that I would just wait for you," _Nothing to do? Where was Alice? "_Alice went shopping."_

_"She would rather go shopping than to spend a day off with you?" I scoffed._

_"Bella," _he warned. I rolled my eyes and nodded my head in understanding. He didn't want to talk about Alice, and I was more than happy to oblige._ "How was your morning?" _Great wake up, horrible ending I thought.

_"Fine," _He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"_I felt that Bella, did something happen with Edward?" _I guess I didn't mask my feelings well enough.

_"I guess you could say that…but we have other things to work on Jasper."_

_"Bella, please tell me. Is everything okay?" _I appreciated his concern but we needed to train.

_"Everything is fine Jasper, come on we're going outside." _I grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the bed. I really did not want to tell him what just happened.

_"I'm too distracted Bella, you need to tell me why you're feeling this way."_ He was right I thought as I sighed.

_"Okay we will talk, but not here. Let's go into the village." _

_"Village?" _

_"Wherever it is that you and your family go when you're not in the house."_

_"I'm not sure that's a good idea Bella," _I rolled my eyes.

"_I make the rules remember? Now let's go."_ I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door. He stopped at the frame and looked me up and down. I blushed under the intensity of his stare but quickly concealed the scarlet that burned my cheeks.

_"As beautiful as your dress is Bella, you're going to attract attention if you go out dressed that way." _

_"I do not see a problem with my attire Jasper." _I took my infamous stance and crossed my hands across my chest.

_"Don't take it personally Bella. It's just that we don't go out dressed like that."_

_"Like what?" _I demanded. He sighed.

"_Could you at least put some pants on? Or a jacket?" _

_"No pants, it isn't feminine. Do you have a jacket?" _He smiled and darted out the room. When he returned, he was holding a long tan jacket. I slipped it on. It smelled just like him…why did that bring me comfort? It fell past my thigh and covered some of my legs.

"_Don't worry you look fine." _

"_I don't care about looks Jasper." _I said as I took hold of his hand in mine.

We drove in some sort of machine to a small park nearby. I was disappointed when I saw that there weren't many humans here. Today I was planning on observing Jasper's behavior around humans in their environment. I sat down on the grass and patted the spot beside me. Jasper sat down and furrowed his brows.

**JPOVS**

Every day Bella surprised me. '_I don't care about looks Jasper."_ It was refreshing to hear her say that. But I was too worried to think about that any further. Bella was hiding something and I knew that I had to do with Edward. His newly found interest in Bella was somewhat annoying. This morning when I had left to make Bella breakfast, I could hear him entering her room…probably watching her sleep again.

_"Bella will you please tell me what happened?" I pleaded._

_"Okay, but you must promise not to tell anyone or do anything okay?"_ Could it really be that bad? She sighed deeply and began to speak.

"_Edward was made a bond with me, one, which by the way I do not reciprocate,"_

_"I don't understand." _

"_Edward is in love with me." _I was speechless, there was nothing I could say. I swear a green tint began to cloud my eyes as I clenched my hands into fists. I recognized this feeling as jealousy…why was I so jealous of Edward's bond with Bella? Was it because there wasn't a bond between Bella and me? Or because I was protective of Bella?

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**Hmmm some new discoveries...Just to clear things up a lil' bit...Jasper isn't expecting to have romantic bond with Bella but he really was expecting to be the first one to make any kind of Bond with Bella...so he feels out of the loop almost. PLEASE tell me what you think and what you want to happen in the future for Edward and Jasper. Thanks again guys~ **


	15. Bonds and Whispers

**Heyy guys sorry it took me so long to get this post out but I have an exam coming up so i didn't want to get distracted.....REVIEW please :)**

Disclaimer:I own nothing...

**JPOV**

I could hardly control the jealousy that erupted in me. Thankfully Bella seemed too preoccupied in her own thoughts to notice. I grabbed a fistful of grass and tore it up from its home. This seemed to attract her attention and she flicked her eyes up to meet mine. If she were to ask me I was behaving so weirdly, I know that I wouldn't even know the answer myself. She exhaled out and ran a worried hand through her hair.

"_What am I going to do Jasper?" _ I dropped the dirt that I was gripping and let it sprinkled down over the grass.

"_Do whatever you want," _My voice came out harsher than I intended it to and I instantly regretted it. She clenched her jaw, her muscles tightening.

She stood up and looked up at the sky then hastily took off my trench coat and threw it down at me. She turned her back and started to walk back toward the car. She struggled with the door handle but finally got it opened. I wanted to apologize but I knew that it would only make things worse. I started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot. The ride back home was agonizingly quiet and it just added to my guilt. Why couldn't I be as good as friend as she was for me? I slowed the car down and pulled over. She turned her head to me with worried eyes.

"_Is there something wrong?" _ Her words were laced with concern. Even after I treated her badly, she was still exuding nothing but pure kindness.

"_I'm not good at this Bella," _I dropped my hands from the steering wheel and let it fall into my lap.

"_Jasper, that's why I'm here; to make this easier for you," _She said while taking my hands into hers.

_"Not that Bella, I mean…us." _ She furrowed her brows and I pulled my hands away.

"_Us?" _ She was confused. I turned away from her and looked out the window

"_I've always just kept to myself Bella. I don't have many memories of being human and having human friends ….it's hard, I don't know what to do." _She grabbed my hands and squeezed them softly.

"_I don't remember much about being human either Jasper, but I do know that friendship comes from here."_ She let go of one of my hands and placed it on my chest. "_This is where your friendship is coming from…I can feel it." _

"_My heart is dead Bella," _ I removed her hand away from my chest but she grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"_That's funny Jaspe,r because every time I see you smile I can hear it beating. You have to let go of the pain from your past Jasper, you have to look forward. And if not for you, do it for me, because I wish nothing more than to hear your heart beat all the time." _ She slowly dropped her hands from mine and turned back into her seat.

I felt warm, like I had just walked in a shower of heat and Bella was holding my hand along the way whispering how everything was going to be okay. I started up the car and pulled back onto the road. Bella's words ignited something new in me, something that I had been searching for so long. I peered over to at her to see her with a soft smile on her lips. The urge to feel her warmth again was overwhelming and I couldn't stop myself from leaning over to take her small hands into mine. When our hands touched I could feel a sharp but pleasant shock run through my fingers. I looked over to her for an explanation. She smiled and held my hand even tighter.

_"I wish you see how beautiful it is."_

"_See what?" _ She looked in between us and deepened her smile.

_"You are not incapable of making a friendship Jasper, the bond between us is the strongest form of friendship that I have ever seen." _ She looked up at me.

"_I made a bond with you?" _ The joy that filled me was overwhelming.

"_Yes you did Jasper." _ I pulled into the garage and parked the car. I ran to the other side to open the door for Bella.

_"Are you hungry?" _ I ask her as we walk into the house.

"_No I'm actually quite full from this morning." _ She sat on the white couch and folded up her feet underneath her.

As if right on cue, Edward padded into the room with a reserved smile. I sat beside Bella and opened my mouth to speak but was intercepted by Edward who sat beside Bella.

"Hello Bella," I rolled my eyes as her smiled at her.

"What do you want Edward?" He turned to me and narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing from you, from Bella, yes." What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Relax Jasper; I was just going to offer my help." Bella crossed her hands against her chest and sighed.

"_You know I hate getting left out Jasper."_

_"Sorry Bella," _I turned to her then back to Edward. "Help for what?"

"Learning English, "I stood up and pulled up Bella with me.

"Sorry but the job is taken," I turned away from Edward, not really knowing why I was bubbling with anger.

I dragged Bella upstairs and into my room. She didn't look shocked but relieved, her whole body radiated it. She walked over to a loveseat in the corner and sat down.

_"Not that I'm not happy for the rescue, but what was tha_t?" I walked over to her and sat on the floor.

_"I don't know,"_ I did not know why the thought of Edward spending time with Bella made me so angry, she was not mine to be so possessive of. But I did feel the need to protect her.

_"What did Edward want?" _ She slid off the loveseat and sat laid beside me, her head resting in my lap.

"_He wanted to teach you English."_

**BPOV**

"_He wanted to teach you English." _ Of course he did.

"_Of course," I_ sighed.

"_Could you explain to me Edwards's bond with you?" _ I turned my head so that I could look up at him.

"_Well it's one sided," _I turned my head back and focused on a piece of lint on the ground.

"_One sided?" _

"_Yes, it means that if I were to look at between Edward and I, there would be no bond present, but if I looked at Edward to myself then I would see his love for me."_

"_You haven't made a bond with Edward?" _ I scoffed.

"_I haven't even had a real conversation with him Jasper," _I curled my feet up to my chest and snuggled in closer to Jasper. "_I have only made a bond with you,"_

"_Only me?" _ Was he shocked?

"_I have spent most of my time with you," _I could feel his hand brushing through my hair….why did it feel so good?

"_What does the bond look like?" _I smiled and then looked between us. The ghostly bond was shining in its usual bright highlight.

"_Like a strong friendship," _I said while yawning.

"_You're tired," _I nodded my head. Before I could protest, I was lifted into his arms. I opened my eyes when my head hit my pillow.

"_Thank you, although next time I would like a warning," _He laughed.

"Where's the fun in that?" He added before slipping into the bed behind me. I couldn't keep my opened as the exhaustion took over me.

"_I only want you to teach me your language Jasper," _

**JPOV**

"_I only want you to teach me your language Jasper," _She mumbled before her eyes closed.

I smiled at her now sleeping face. Today I learned so much about myself and about Bella; now this battle doesn't seem too hard. Bella is the only one in this house that truly believes in me, she doesn't see me as a monster. I'm know Alice never said it but I know she resents me for my past, but I know when I tell Bella about my life with Maria, she will do nothing but accept me. Before I could stop my hand; I was smoothing away Bella's black hair away from her face. Her lips slowly curved into a soft smile before she let out a peaceful exhale. I got up momentarily to grab a quilt from the closet; if I was going to lie beside Bella, then I would have to protect her from my below zero temperature. I spread it across her curled body and tucked her in.

I could not stop my eyes from looking at her; Bella was proving to be beautiful in every aspect, even while sleeping. I did not push away these thoughts but instead welcomed them, letting my mind manufacture images of Bella. I instantly remembered my promise to myself; of helping Bella find her true love. I looked down at her again; her plump raspberry lips pouted. She wants to learn English, but in when she's not sleeping, she's always helping me, being chased by Edward or being prodded by Alice, there's never time for me to actually teach her. How is she possibly going to learn English if she doesn't give me time to help her? Then it hit me, I could teach Bella while she was sleeping. I lowered her stupor a little; giving her subconscious mind ample room to pick it up my voice while she sleeps.

I got up from the bed and grabbed the book that I had used to learn Bella's language. Settling back into the bed; I positioned myself onto my elbows. I leaned in towards Bella ear and began to read from the book. Hopefully this will work.

**BPOV**

I had the strangest dream last night that involved Jasper, I cannot recall what was going on but I can remember his voice bring me strange comfort, a part of me ached to be immersed back into the reverie. I stretched my arms out and smiled when one of my arms bumped into a familiar body. I turned to Jasper and waved lazily.

"Good morning Bella," Why did that sentence sound so familiar?

"_Jasper, did you teach me that word before?" _ He grinned and pulled me into his cold embrace.

"_It's working,"_ He spoke into my hair. I detangled myself away from his arms and crossed my hands across my chest.

"_Jasper what did you do?"_ He laughed.

"_Something I should've done sooner Bella," _I uncrossed my arms and furrowed my brows.

"_What is it Jasper?" _ I was starting to worry.

"_Does _Good morning _sound familiar?"_ I nodded my head. "_How about _I'm tired?_" _

_"Yes, they both sound really familiar," _He was grinning from ear to ear. He pulled me into his arms again and I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his stone back. "_Not that I do not enjoy your hugs and your display of close contact but what is going on?" _ He released me from his hold but kept the same big grin on his face.

"_While you were sleeping last night, I whispered the translations for English into your ear," _I brought my hand up to my ear. That would explain the pleasant tickling I felt last night.

"_You did?" _ A feeling I couldn't indentify, swelled in my chest. I smiled at him and pulled hands into mine. "_Thank you so much Jasper," _I fought back the tears that I were sure could fall at any second.

"_We're friends now Bella, I __**want**__ to help you,"_

"_How come I don't know the meaning of the words?"_

_"It will take a couple of days for your brain to start memorizing the meanings, right now you just know the words, correct?" _ I nodded my head.

"_So in a couple of days, I will be able to know your language fully?" _

_"That's the plan," _Now it was my turn to hug him I thought as I pulled him into my arms.

"_Thank you so much Jasper, I cannot thank you enough,"_ I leaned away.

"_So what are we doing today?"_

_"Well I was thinking of going to a crowded place, just to see your reaction. We didn't really get the chance to do that,"_

_"Bella," _I knew what he was thinking.

"_If anything goes wrong then we'll leave," _I got off the bed and walked towards the bathroom.

"_I'm not sure it's a good idea Bella, we should just stay in,"_ I poked my head out from the door.

"_You must have confidence Jasper, don't you trust yourself?"_ He sighed and lowered his head into his hands. I walked out of the bathroom, wrapped in only a towel.

_"We're going to go out Jasper and I know you're going to be able to control yourself. You've shown a lot of progress,"_ I lifted up his head so that his eyes met mine. "_I believe in you Jasper,"_ He brought up his hand to mine and held it in place. _"Now you must believe in yourself," _ I'm not sure why I did it but I leaned in and kissed his forehead. He must've felt the current that ran through me when my lips touched his skin because his eyes widened.

I pulled away and waved as I disappeared into the bathroom. I let the steaming water beat down onto my back. What was that shock that I just felt? It wasn't a bond forming…I checked. I pushed that thought away and thought about the task at hand. It frustrates me that Jasper doesn't believe himself and that he needs to be pushed so hard in order to. I closed my eyes and hummed my favorite song. Turning off the shower, I stepped out and dried myself. I walked into the room and put on my white dress, this one was longer than the others. I opened my door and sighed. Edward was waiting for me.

**Thanks for reading, hope you will Review and tell me what you think about that shock Bella felt...What did Jasper think of it? Tell me what you think? And what does Edward want?**


	16. Entwined Together

**Okay here is the next chapter! I really hope that you guys are enjoying this story...plz let me know in the reviews!!! Anyways here it is ...thx again**

**JPOV**

I had to get out the house; I needed to hunt and think about what just happened. Bella never ceased to amaze me with her kindness and her…love. I followed the scent of a small deer; if Bella wanted to go somewhere crowded then I would have to make sure that I was full. But I was full; I could still feel Bella's blood sloshing around in my stomach. Was that another power that her blood had? To keep her attackers full and sustained? I pounced onto the young deer anyway, draining it while it twitched under my teeth. STOP AVOIDING IT, the voice in my head echoed. I was avoiding it. I was avoiding thinking about the pleasant shock that I felt when Bella's lips had touched my forehead. Did she make another bond with me? That would be a logical explanation to the shock that vibrated through me as she kissed me.

"_That's funny Jasper because every time I see you smile I can hear it beating. You have to let go of the pain from your past Jasper, you have to look forward. And if not for you, do it for me, because I wish nothing more than to hear your heart beat all the time." _ Her voice still lingered in my mind. After she said that I knew that I would do anything for Bella because I knew that she would do the same for me. She embodied the support that I yearned for and so much more. I really hope that today will not be a setback for me, although Bella said that we would leave if something bad were to happen but Bella doesn't understand that I am not myself when in provoked my blood. What I really don't want to do is disappoint her; she has done so much for me already.

I get up from my sitting position and begin my sprint back to the house. Instead of going to Bella's room I go straight to mine. I should talk to Alice, just to make sure that she was okay with me spending nights in Bella's room. I jumped in through the open window and followed her overly perfumed scent into the huge walk in closet.

"What do you think about this outfit?" She turned to me and pressed a skirt and blouse ensemble up to herself. Honestly I didn't like it but I just smiled anyway.

"It's nice. Look Alice do you think we could talk?" She hung up the outfit and turned back to me.

"We are talking silly," She tapped my nose with her finger then turned back to the clothes.

"I mean without the clothes." She whipped her head up, her face suddenly serious. Her emotions were showing fear and worry and something else that I couldn't quite place.

"What happened?" I rolled my eyes and latched my hand onto her wrist.

"Nothing _happened _Alice," I said while pulling her out of the closet and onto the bed.

"Then what's wrong? I was kind of busy you know." I rolled my eyes again.

"I just want to know if you're okay with me staying in Bella's room at night." Now she rolled her eyes.

"Of course I'm okay with it Jasper, is that all because I really have a lot to do before school tomorrow." I nodded just before she bounded into the closet with a small wave. There was a small part in me that was hoping that she would burst out in anger, she was just too happy.

I left the room and walked across the hall into Bella's, it was empty. Did she say that we were going to meet somewhere else? I smelled the air and suppressed a growl when I recognized Bella's cent intertwined with Edwards. I wouldn't be surprised if he had kidnapped her and had her locked up in his room. I kept on forgetting to talk to him about his latest infatuation about Bella and how his "love" for her couldn't not develop into something more. WHAT IF? I ignored the voice and continued to walk down the hall. I refused to think of the possibility of Edward being Bella's true love. I'm not sure why, but the thought of Bella and Edward being together did not sit well with me. He doesn't even know her; what her favorite color is, what she likes to eat, what her family was like. AND _YOU _DO? I shook my head. No, I don't but I'm going to. I turned the knob on Edwards's door and opened it. Bella was sitting on the his black couch with her brows furrowed so hard that it looked painful. When she looked up at me, I was bombarded with relief. Her familiar warming smile reached her perplexed face as I extended my hand out to her.

"We're in the middle of something Jasper." I looked at the small chalk board that he had in the middle of his room.

"I'm sorry but we have plans." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We need to talk Jasper," I exhaled.

"She can't understand you Edward." He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I wasn't talking about Bella, I was talking about you."

"Do you think we could do it a little later? Like I said, we have plans." Bella was still holding my hand.

"This is important Jasper," he looked serious.

"_Bella do you mind waiting downstairs? Edward wants to talk to me about something." _ She smiled sweetly.

"_Of course. What took you so long anyway? I was suffering here you know." _ She laughed.

"I'm_ sorry I was hunting." _She rolled her eyes and walked out the room.

"What did she say?" I laughed.

"You don't want to know." He looked confused. "Okay Edward, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"What were doing in Bella's room last night?" I sat down onto the couch.

"That is none of your business."

"Actually it is, Alice is my sister Jasper and I don't think she likes that you stay in Bella's room all night"

"I talked to her already," He exuded shock.

"What?"

"I talked to today and she is fine with it."

"How could she be fine with that?"

"Because Alice trusts me and because Bella and I are just friends." Although this was true; I was slightly amused by his accusation.

"This is not funny," He was reading my thoughts.

"I'm sorry Edward, you're right. Thank you so much for your concern," My words were laced with sarcasm.

"Jasper you're not taking this seriously." He said as I got up from the couch.

"Of course I'm not. Look Edward I know that you care about Bella, but I have everything under controlled." I started to walk toward the door.

"I know you're hiding something." I turned to him.

"What is this all about anyway? Why are you doing this?"

"We all just want for you to be better but not if it involves Bella getting hurt." Rage bubbled through me.

"I would never hurt Bella!" I twinge of guilt ran through me…I wouldn't again. I turned back to the door. "You don't know anything Edward."I walked down stairs and into the living room.

Bella was sitting on the white couch with a magazine in her hand. She was shaking her head as she flipped through the pages.

"_See something you like?" _ She put the magazine down.

"_Actually it's the complete opposite."_ She got up. "_What was that all about?" _ She pointed up the stairs.

_"Edward was …concerned about our relationship." _ She rolled her eyes.

"_Well did you tell him that it was none of his business?"_ I smiled. I walked over to the door and took my long jacket off the rack.

"_Please wear it, it's really cold out."_

_"I thought we went over this already." _ I helped her put on.,

"_Yes I know but this time it's because you really will need it."_ She smiled at me.

"_Okay okay." _ We walked outside to the car.

We drove in comfortable silence down the road until she turned to me. Her expression was worried.

"_How is..." _she exhaled. "_Alice?" _I turned to her.

"_She's fine, why the sudden interest."_

_"Well you already know how much I….dislike her but I don't want to be an interruptance in your marriage."_

_"Bella, your presence is not affecting my marriage at all, if anything it's shedding some new light."_

**BPOV**

"_Bella, your presence is not affecting my marriage at all, if anything it's shedding some new light."_ I hid my worry from him.

What new light was shed? I really do not want to cornered into telling him the truth about his bond with Alice. The last time that I saw their bond; it was hanging dangerously from a thin thread. I want Jasper to be happy but not if that means holding on to something that has no hope or future.

"_New light?"_

_"There are some things that I haven't really noticed before that I'm just starting to see."_

_"And I'm the cause of it?"_

_"A part of it." _I turned to the window. _"My whole family is different in my eyes now." _ Thank God he was talking about his whole family.

"_How so?" _

_"I'm glad that Carlisle gave me this chance to know you but at first it felt a bit extreme…it came out of nowhere."_

_"Hadn't Carlisle given you another type of help before my arrival?"_

_"No, nothing at all, just brisk warnings."_ I turned to him.

"_Wait I'm your first type of therapy?" _ he looked at me.

"_Yes, is that bad?"_ He must've heard the shock in my voice.

"_Jasper, my practices are used as the last strike kind of thing, sort of like the last resort. That is why I was so rough on you in the beginning."_

_"Because you believed me to be a monster."_ He mumbled while lowering his head. I reached over and lifted up his chin with my hand.

"_No, not because I believed you to be a monster….I have never believed that. I was rough on you because I expected you would only respond to being handled that way. I guess that would explain your anger towards me." _ His eyes finally met mine and I dropped my hand.

"_I never did apologize for that."_

_"That's because an apology is not necessary Jasper, remember we only move forward." _He stopped the car just as I turned to look out the window.

We were in some sort of public park; it was crowded with humans as well as their dogs. I didn't have to look at Jasper to know the worry that he had permanently etched onto his face. I really hope that he believed me when I said that I never believed him to be a monster. Jasper has always been the same in my eyes but now he is even more, he is my friend, probably my best friend. I turned back to him to see him gripping the steering wheel. His knuckles were white and strained as he glared out the window. I placed my hand on top of his and exhaled as I sent out a soothing calm. His knuckles relaxed and he sighed.

"_You never really told me how you do that,"_ He said quietly.

"_Then now is a perfect time for me to tell you, come on."_ I got of the car and walked to the other side to let him out.

"_I don't want to disappoint you Bella,"_

_"You're disappointing by not getting out the car. I have faith in you Jasper don't you think it's time you do too?" _ I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of car.

He got out and closed his eyes. I could feel his body stiffen as a gust of wind blew past us. I got up to my tip toes and slowly opened his eyes. He looked so tormented as he looked at me. I wondered how he was able to look so calm during school. I pulled both of his hands into mine and held them tightly.

_"Only_ _look at me Jasper, forget about all of the other people here and just focus on us."_ He smiled weakly. "_Those other people don't matter." _I dropped one of his hands and started to walk one of the many crowded areas.

I could feel him loosen our grasp as we pasted a small family playing on the grass. I brought our entwined hands up to my chest. Hopefully my beating heart would be a good enough distraction. I know Jasper can do this without the distraction though. I slowly brought my hand back down to my side. I looked over at Jasper, he looked calmer and more at ease. I smiled at him and watched as he grinned back.

"_You look happy,"_

_"I'm smiling because of you," _

_"This," _I waved to us walking through a crowd. "_This is all you Jasper; you always had this in you. It was just bottled up, I always knew you had this in you."_ He brought up my hand to his cold lips which again ignited a fierce shock.

"_Thank you," _ I smiled but was still a bit dazed by the jolt that ran through my hand. What is going on?

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW LOL please let me know what you guys liked or didn't thanks again!**


	17. Touched

**Heyy guys! okay just want to tell you how much fun i had writing this chapter, things are finally settling into place with Jasper and Bella! I want to dedicate this chapter to Michelle, without your advice this story would not be as good as it is! Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: i own nothing, just the plot**

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**JPOV**

I was too high on myself pride to think about the jolt that Bella and I shared again. I was doing it, I was sitting amidst crowds of humans and for the first time; I was not constructing strategic plans to how I could devour them all. For the first time my senses were clear of the demons that I thought haunted and dwelled in my mind.

"_You are very welcome Jasper,"_ she smiled sweetly at me as I let go of her hands

We sat together in silence; her head leaning on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around her back. Her scent, although it ran laps around my nose, I was completely immune to it, it actually brought me comfort. I then remembered that I was curious about Bella's gifts.

_"You never told me about your gift to see bonds," _She bit her lower lip and snuggled deeper in to my side.

_"There's not much to say Jasper."_ I could sense that she was hiding something.

_"I think there's a lot to say about it. What do they look like? Can you touch them?"_ She pulled away from me and idly pulled up grass.

_"Why are so curious about the bonds?"_

_"Because they are a part of you and I want to know more about you."_ She leaned back into me.

"_Bonds are like ghosts almost, you can't touch them or see them but they're there."_

_"Do they all look the same?" _ She sighed heavily and looked down.

"_No, some bonds are thicker than others." _

"_What do my bonds look like?" _She pursed her lips and shook her head.

"_That is not important right now Jasper," _again I felt the pressure of something building up in her. "_I have promised myself not to reveal the bonds that I see unless they are my own."_

_"Why?"_

_"Jasper…when I first started this life as a server, I was helping a female vampire with her thirst. She was married to a man who she planned to change but didn't trust her control to do so. So I helped her but when I saw her bond, I saw that there was absolutely no hope for their future. Even thought they both loved each other dearly, their bond proved otherwise. One day she asked me about her bond and I told her the truth. I told her how her bond was nearly nonexistent and how nothing could stitch it back together. Instantly regretted doing so because she spent every day with her husband; trying to save her bond. Eventually he got tired of her and asked her a divorce, which she refused to do. It just drove her crazy, every thought, every action of hers was about the bond. After that session, I promised myself that the bonds that I see would be for my eyes and my eyes only."  
"Please just tell me Bella,"_

_"Were you not listening Jasper?"_

"_Is it that bad?"_

"_Jasper your family loves you," _I scoffed and moved my hand from around her back.

"_Can I tell you something Bella?" _

"_You can tell me anything Jasper," _I held my hands in my lap and looked down…let the self loathing begin I thought.

"_I feel like no matter what I do, I will never truly be good enough for the family."_ I felt her warm hand lift my chin up. Our eyes met and she smiled sweetly.

"_Jasper you were always good enough, your family just needs to see that." _

"_I've been trying to show them for so long Bella; ever since Alice brought me to the family I've been trying to prove to them that I am good enough for them."_

"_That is not a family Jasper."_ I looked over at her.

"_What?" _ She took my hands into hers.

"_If you have to prove to them that you belong then they are not the family you believe them to be. A family would accept you just as is."_

"_They don't want a monster for a son Bella or a monster for a husband, don't you get that?!"_ She hastily pulled her hands away from mine.

"_Show me the monster Jasper! Because I sure do not see one. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell this but you are and never were a monster. If Alice believes that you are a monster, then she is a fool because you are so much more than that."_

"_How can you say that, you didn't know me then." _She grabbed my hands again and squeezed them hard.

"_You're right, I didn't know you then, but I do know you now. You're the Jasper who is kind, sweet, sensitive and caring. You're not the monster that you claim to be."_

"_You shouldn't have so much trust in me Bella," _She got on her knees and leaned toward me.

"_You gained that trust Jasper, you showed me that side…. and other things."_ She laughed then put both hands on either sides of my face. "_Please don't think so lowly of yourself Jasper when we both know that you are so much more than that." _ I looked into her emerald eyes and pulled her into my arms. The need to feel her heart beating against my stone chest was urgent.

**BPOV**

I was swept into his cold arms and held tightly against his stone chest. I could immediately tell that this hug was different; the way his arms rested on the small of my back, the way our chests were pressed together, and the way our breaths became swallowed. This hug nowhere close to the other embraces we shared…it was more intimate and I didn't mind at all, instead I welcomed it by pushing myself harder against him. My need to be held by him oozed out from every pore on my body. All my worries about keeping the truth from Jasper and keeping my curse under wraps disappeared as I slowly lifted up my head to reach Jasper's. I leaned in and rested my forehead onto his; inhaling his sweet breath into my lungs. Suddenly realization hit me and I realized where we were.

"Jasper," I said out of breath. I shouldn't be doing this I thought. I shouldn't be letting myself feel anything more than friendship with Jasper. "Jasper." I said again while reluctantly sliding away.

For some reason I couldn't look him in the eye, the feelings that were rushing through me were still sore and I didn't want any of it unintentionally affecting Jasper. I know that it had earlier though; during the hug I knew my feelings radiated nothing else but need. How wouldn't have reacted that way if I didn't will it. I cursed myself internally for forcefully making Jasper react the way he did. I got up unsteadily onto my feet and turned my back to him.

_"Can this be one of the times where we don't talk about what happened?"_

_"Bella,"_ He pleaded.

"_Please?"_ I fought back the sobs that choked me. How could this have happened? How could I have developed something….something…I'm not sure what it is but I know that I enjoyed that hug more than I should have.

_"Okay, do you want to go back?" _ It was going to be dark soon and I was hungry.

"_Yes please." _I finally gathered the courage to turn back to look at him For a second I thought I saw hurt flash behind his eyes but I must've just imagined it because he smiled and extended and hand out to me, which I took.

Inside the car he played my favorite CD, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to smile while swaying. I could not let Jasper get hurt by my selfish actions; I realized then that it was time for me to tell the family of my curse, to move on. Jasper must've felt my determination because he turned to me.

_"What are you thinking?"_ I smiled at him.

"_That I just might take you up on your offer to help me."_ He furrowed his brows.

"_How so?" _I turned fully to him.

"_I think it's time that we tell the family about my curse."_ He smiled and took one of my hands into his free one.

"_Really?" _He was excited.

"_Really,"_

_"What made you change your mind? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy Bella but I just want to know."_

_"You did," _I couldn't very well say that it was because I thought about him in ways that I shouldn't have had.

"_Me?"_

_"You're almost done with my help Jasper. Soon you won't need me anymore." _It hurt me even more to think it than say it.

"_That's ridiculous Bella…I will always need you." _ My heart leapt but it only reminded me of the task at hand…finding my true love.

_"Although that may be true Jasper, I really do not want to be alone."_ I looked down but felt him rub my hand. Why suddenly was every touch from Jasper blurring my thoughts?

"_You will never be alone Bella, you will always have me." _ As pleasant as that sounded, I could never really have Jasper.

_"So will you help me tell the family?" _

_"Of course I will Bella."_ We pulled up to the house and he opened the door for.

And as if we had told the family beforehand; they were all conveniently gathered in the living room.

Alice had her head buried in a magazine but instantly beamed when her eyes meant mine; her grin almost sinister.

"_Ah, Hello Bella, how was your evening with Jasper?" _Carlisle asked.

"_I wish you could've seen it. Jasper is well on his way to becoming a vegetarian."_

_"That is great Bella. I am very proud of you Jasper."_ Jasper nodded while he took he place beside a still grinning Alice.

_"I was hoping that I could talk to you all about something."_

_"We would be more than happy to listen Bella," _I nodded and turned to Jasper,

"_Jasper could you translate for me?" _ He smiled and nodded.

"_Okay well I have not been completely honest with you guys about my curse,"_ I waited as Jasper translated.

"_How so Bella?"_

_"My curse has two sides, the first being having to serve those in need and the other side…Jasper please can you finish for me?"_

_"Of course." _ I stood patiently and waiting as he translated. I just couldn't say it.

"_Oh God Bella," _Carlisle was the first to speak. "_We will do everything can to help you." _I simply nodded; suddenly feeling too exhausted to say anything more about it.

I watched as Alice skipped to Carlisle and whispered into his ear, he smiled and nodded his head rapidly.

_"Bella, Alice thinks that it would be a good idea for you to attend school"_

_"Why?"_

_"There are hundreds of young men who attend Fork High School Bella; possibly one of them could be your true love." _That idea never even occurred to me.

"_That would be great!"_ Now I could smile. I turned to Jasper but he looked less than happy. _"What's wrong Jasper?"_

_"I just don't think that this approach it.'_

_"Okay, then what did you have in mind?." _Was it not him who said that he wanted to help me?

"_High school is small Bella; we should be traveling across the world."_

_"But what if he is at your school? How could I live with knowing that my chance was here all along?" _

_"Bella is right Jasper, it's best that we start here then move on."_

_"But you don't know English yet"_

_"No not yet but all of the words you all are saying sound very familiar, I am almost certain that by tomorrow I will know your language, that is if you join me tonight"_

_"Okay, I just…I just don't want you to get your hopes up."_

_"I promise not to expect anything Jasper; I just want to start…please."_

**JPOV**

"_I promise not to expect anything Jasper; I just want to start…please." _ How could I hold her back? But how could I let her go? SHE NOT YOURS TO LOSE. No, this time the voice was wrong.

_"Great! I will get the papers prepared for Bella," _Carlisle said before disappearing with Esme.

_"Are you hungry? If not we should get you to bed to prepare for tomorrow."_

_"No I am fine, let's go to bed."_ She started to walk towards me but was blocked by Alice, what could she possibly want now?

"Jasper, you don't really expect Bella to go to school dressed like that do?" I looked at Bella, I always admired her dresses.

"She doesn't like our clothing Alice," She knew that already.

"Yeah yeah yeah, but we can't just let her go to school half naked. I mean is she even wearing underwear?" I rolled my eyes.

"_Bella, Alice thinks that you might want to change your outfits for school."_

_"Why in the world would I want to do that?"_

_"Well you do not want to attract too much attention to yourself."_

_"Hmm I suppose you're right."_

"What did she say?" Alice whined.

"She said okay."

"Yay!" Alice shrilled.

Bella looked confused; I know that she would immediately refuse to go anywhere if she knew that it was Alice who wanted to dress her up.

"I'm coming too Alice," She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea Jasper, malls tend to be crowded." It hurt to hear her say it but I pushed that aside.

"Bella won't go without me, so I guess you're stuck with me."

"Looks like it." She mumbled. I clenched my fists and turned to Bella.

"_We're going to go to a shopping outlet Bella, it won't take long."_

_"Does Alice have to come? I'd rather it be you and me only." _Oh how much I wanted that too. Did Alice have to come too?

"_Fortunately yes she does," _Bella sighed then halfhearted slipped her jacket back on.

"_If she touches me we're going to have problems." _ I laughed and walked her to the door.

"I'm going too," As if things couldn't get worse.

"Absolutely not Edward."

"Actually I think that's a good idea," I turned away from Bella.

"What?" I said angrily. I could feel Bella step beside me.

"I think that Edward should come just in case something happens." She wasn't serious. I marched forward and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Let go Jasper," I ignored her plea and dragged her into the kitchen.

"Do you have that little faith in me?" She pulled her elbow away and placed her hands on her hips.

"We both know what happened the last time we went to the mall together." Images of a blonde girl writhing under my grasp in the mall's indoor parking lot flashed over my eyes. I looked down.

"I'm not that same person Alice, I've changed." She sighed.

"I'm sorry Jasper but Edward is still coming." She skipped out the kitchen. How could she be so…cold? That was not the Alice that I had fallen in love with.

We all drove in Edwards Volvo; Edward driving, Alice in shotgun and Bella and I in the back. Bella must've sensed my anger because she placed her hand on top of mine and smiled.

_"She's wrong you know."_

"_How can you be so sure, when you couldn't even understand what she was saying?"_

_"Because I know the look of doubt when I see it."_

_"I just wish she believed in me."_

_"Like I said, Alice is a fool. I know you would have been perfectly fine if we were to go alone."_

_"But she didn't know it."_

_"So who cares about her….what I mean is that Alice will soon know it." _ I nodded my head and looked out the window; Edward was driving so fast that the trees were blurring.

"_I don't get why he has to drive so fast,"_

_"I do not understand why he had to come. Edward would be far better off at home."_

_"He would do anything to have time with you." _ She frowned.

"_I would very much like to be just his friend but every time I try to be just that, he confuses it to be something else. It was very frustrating."_

_"Well if you think that after telling about your curse that he is going to back off then you are wrong."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He gave off feelings of love after I told them. I think he is convinced that he could be the one." _Bella began to cough.

"Is everything okay back there?" Edward asked.

"Yes,"

"_Bella are you okay?" _ She coughed a couple of more times.

"_Oh why didn't I think about that?" _ She let her head fall into her hands.

"_Just ignore him Bella,"_

_"That would be rude Jasper, I have to do something"_

_"And what would this something be?"_

_"I don't know but I do know that I have a very good friend who would be willing to help."_

_"Hmm and just what does this friend look like?"_

_"Tall, blonde and handsome."_

_"I'm not sure I know who you are talking about." She laughed._

_"Come on Jasper, are you going to help me with this or not."_ Of course I would help her…I would do anything for her.

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**So things are starting to heat up! Next ch: Bella tries on new clothes, how will Jasper react when he hears about Bella's plan to foil Edwards love. And will Alice finally get to play Barbie with Bella or will something else happen? _REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW_ and tell me what you think! thanks guys so much **


	18. Released and Captured

**Sorry for the wait guys but i've been busy with school work, you know how college is...anyways i really hope you guys like this chapter! Its the longest one so far so please take time to review! **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns everything **

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**BPOV**

"_Come on Jasper, are you going to help me with this or not." _ He smiled and nodded.

"_Of course, but what did you have in mind exactly?" _ I bit my lip; I was hoping that he would have that answer.

"_Well, all I know is that I need for him to understand that nothing can happen between us but that I still want to be his friend." _Suddenly an idea popped into my mind.

"_You just got an idea didn't you?" _He looked worried.

"_Yes I did, thank you so much for your help Jasper." _

"_Don't I get to hear it?"_ I shook my head and leaned back towards the window. Sparing Jasper from the details is the only way that I can guarantee that this plan goes smoothly.

The car stopped and we got out. I couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed; a huge building loomed over us. I clutched onto Jasper and hid behind him. He chuckled as we started to walk forward. Was this where we were going to buy my new clothes?

"_What is this place?" _I whispered to Jasper.

"_It's called a mall; this is where humans go when they want to different things in the same place."_

We entered the building and instantly were surrounded with humans. I knew that there was no reason for me to worry about Jasper but I worried about how Alice would treat Jasper this time. Her anger flares were proving to be more and more deterring to Jasper's recovery and I would not allow for him to be pushed back any further. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed that Edward had walked over to stand next to me. It was the unpleasant tickle of his breath on my neck that made me turn to face him. He smiled crookedly and nodded his head, I smiled back. If I'm going to go through with my plan, I'm going to have to do it quickly.

_"Jasper why don't you and Alice go into that store and look for um nice clothes for me and Edward and I will go into that store."_ I pointed randomly at a store with woman out front.

"_Don't you want to stay together?"_ His expression was hard to read…did he want me to stay with him?

"_Yes I do but I need to do what we talked about remember?"_ He closed his mouth in a tight line and nodded.

I grabbed onto Edward's hand and dragged him into the woman's clothing store. He excited which just added to my guilt even more. How can tell Edward that nothing can happen between us, without hurting his feelings? He followed me to the end of an empty aisle in the store. I turned to him and frowned.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella? He spoke with such longing and it only solidified my determination to tell him the truth.

What was the truth? That nothing could happen between us and the only person that I truly longed to be with was with someone else? I would spare him that second part.

"Bella and Edward," His eyes lit up. "Friends?" His smiled deepened.

"Of course we are friends Bella, I really care about you," He took my hands into his. Care, care care….think harder, what does that word mean? I closed my eyes and concentrated. Care! It means to feel affection for. I open my eyes and shook my head while pulling my hands away.

"Bella care Edward friend," He looked confused. I knew that was missing a word but I just couldn't remember it. "Bella care Edward….um" I was mentally kicking myself, why couldn't I remember that word? I closed my eyes again and imagined Jasper. I imagined him lying beside me on my bed, whispering into my ear.

"Are you okay?" Edward's voice broke me from my memory.

"Huh?"

"You looked like you were thinking very hard about something." That's the word, like! I smiled and shook my head again,

"Bella care Edward like friend," I knew that he understood because his face dropped. "Sorry Edward." He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled.

"Jasper told you to say that didn't he?" I only understood the Jasper part; did that mean he knew that I felt for Jasper?

"Jasper? No, no" He shook his head and exhaled again.

"Let's go," he turned and started to walk out the store. He was walking so fast that I struggled to keep up.

"Edward _Slow down," _I knew it was use to try but I did anyway.

I finally managed to catch up to him but I still strained to match my strides with his. I wasn't expecting this reaction at all.

"Edward,"

I managed to croak out before being knocked back an oncoming shoulder. I stumbled back into the traffic of humans. I called out Edward's name but to no avail; I could see his back turning the corner.

Anger rippled through me as I walked over to a small bench. For someone that he supposedly loves, Edward is acting like a jerk. It's not like I said that I didn't want to be his friend, because I do. Just as I was about to get up, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around and smiled, it was Jasper.

"_What are you doing here alone?" _ I jumped into his arms and hugged him close. "_Where is Edward?" _I let go of him.

"_He just left me here."_

_"Left you? Are you sure Bella?"_

_"Yes I'm sure, I tried calling him but he didn't stop."_

_"Come let's go," _I took his hand as we began to walk to another store. "_What did you say to him?"_

_"That I care for him as a friend." _He looked down at me.

"_How were you able to say that?" _I shook my head.

"_That doesn't matter but he took it badly I guess because he sprinted out the store without even waiting for me."_

_"He didn't say anything?" _ I closed my eyes and tried to remember.

"_I'm not sure but he said something like '_Did Jasper put you up to this?' _What does that mean?"_

_"He thinks I told you to say that to him,"_ I rolled my eyes, okay that was beyond childish.

"_Why would you do that?"_

_"Edward is very….I don't know how to say this but he feels very protective of you."_

_"Protective?"_

_"We'll talk about this later." _We walked into the store where Alice was holding a pile of clothes in her lap.

"_Is she going to buy all those for herself?" _I whispered to Jasper.

"_No those are for you," I_ grabbed onto his elbow just as he started to walk towards Alex.

"_You're joking right?" _He turned around and shook his head.

Alice looked up at me and smiled menacingly, I almost believed that she was doing this on purpose.

"Come on Bella," she shrilled.

I took one step back and placed both hands across my chest. Jasper looked pleadingly at me but I ignored his pleas and continued to glare at Alice. If it was a standoff she wanted then it was a standoff she was going to get. She stood up with her hands on her hips.

"Jasper," she whined.

"_Bella what's wrong?" _

"_I'm not trying on those clothes,"_

_"Why not?" _ I walked over to the pile, which made Alice squeal but frown when I plucked up a shirt with disgust.

"_Does this look like something I would wear?" _I put the purple silk shirt up to my chest. It had some sort of bow on the side.

"_Um…" _

"Jasper." I said reproachfully.

"_No it doesn't look like something you would wear," _

_"Thank you." _ I shoved the shirt into Alice's hands.

"Jasper!" she whined again. He turned to her. She stamped her feet and moaned.

I guess he pacified her just enough because we left the store empty handed.

"_Where would you like to go Bella," _Jasper asked exasperatingly. I reached my hand up and smoothed back his hair.

"_Why don't you show me a store I'll like." _He smiled.

We walked into a store and I immediately knew that Jasper had brought me to the right place. The clothes weren't so fancy or too dull but just right.

"_What are these called?" _ Picked up something dark and blue.

"_Jeans. Do you like them?" _ I brought it up close to my face.

"_They're interesting, are these like what you wear?" _

"_I don't wear jeans." _ I frowned.

"_Why not? I bet you would look good in them," _He furrowed his brow.

"_Alice buys my clothes." _ I couldn't help but to shake my head; did Alice control every aspect of Jasper's life? I decided not to say anything about this …yet.

"_Will these fit me?" _ He laughed again.

"_Let's ask for some help,"_

"Those won't fit her," _I_ turned to Alice's voice. She was standing defeated near a rack of shirts.

"_What did she say Jasper?" _ I really didn't feel like fighting with Alice but if I had to I would.

_"She says that those won't fit you,"_ I looked down at the jeans in my hand, they were a bit big. She walked hesitantly over to where I was standing and pulled out another pair of jeans.

"Here," she handed them over to me.

"_Um, _Thank you" I said awkwardly."

"_Bella you can try it on behind that curtain."_

_"What if I need you to help me?" _ His eyes practically bulged out when I said this. "_Calm down Jasper, I was just joking." _ I walked over to a rack of shirts and grabbed a long navy colored garment.

I didn't want to admit it but I had actually hoped that Jasper would've said yes, but of course that wouldn't been wrong, especially with Alice right there. What am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about Jasper so much. Think about meeting the one, I thought to myself, think about the one. I slid my dress off and pulled the navy shirt over my head. It was a bit tight but I liked it. I then pulled on the jeans and clasped the small button on front. I turned around to look in the mirror; Alice was right, they did fit. I took one more look in the mirror before sliding the curtain back.

**JPOV**

I should be happy that she talked to Edward, I should be happy that he's not going to be bothering her anymore. But I can't help but to feel like she's going to be leaving me soon. All of this is moving too fast for me, what if Bella does meet her true love at Forks High? Where does that leave us? The shade to Bella's fitting room slid open and I completely lost track of what I was thinking of before.

Bella emerged from the fitting room in a navy v-neck shirt that hugged her toned stomach. I couldn't help the venom that pooled into my mouth. She smiled and did a small turn to show us the back of her jeans. I fought back the growl in my throat while grabbing onto a metal rack nearby for support. Bella's body was even more amazing in those jeans. At that moment I wished that I could freeze time and just stay with her forever, because the thought of another man touching Bella made me furious.

"_How do I look?" _ Amazing, beautiful, striking….attractive.

"_You look very beautiful Bella," She_ smiled again.

"_Thank you." _ She walked over to me and I silently prayed that my body would behave. "_They're really comfortable too,"_

I turned away from her and squeezed the metal bar; I could feel it bending under my strength. I couldn't look at her; although she looked lovely, she wasn't wearing a bra and it didn't leave much to imagination. CONTROL. I didn't have the urge to kill her but to….CONTROL. I reined it and turned back to Bella while waving over an employee.

"Do you do measurements here? For…bras?" The employee was a bit dazzled but nodded her head. "_Bella this woman is going to measure you for a type of supporter that all woman wear okay,"_

_"Supporter for what?" _She crossed her arms across her chest and I thought "support for that,"

"_Do you trust me?" _Her face softened and she put her hand down.

"_You know I do," _I smiled.

"_She's not going to hurt you ok." _Bella nodded as the woman escorted her out.

I was finally able to sit down beside Alice, who was fuming. I didn't get why it was so important that she dictate what Bella wore. I turned to her.

"Aren't you supposed to be happy for Bella?" I asked her.

"Happy for what? That she wants to go to school dressed like a loser? Oh yeah I'm happy."

"Alice please," she rolled her eyes.

"Please what? We have to hang out with her tomorrow; do you know what we'll look like?"

"Like normal high school student for once." She turned fully to me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Wasn't it obvious?

"Alice we're not going to talk about this here."

"Why not? What did you mean Jasper?" she added sourly.

"Maybe it's a good thing that Bella doesn't dress like she just came from a fashion show."

"What are you trying to say Jasper? I was doing Bella a favor by bringing her here; I mean have you seen what she wears?" I would not allow her to speak about Bella that way.

"There is nothing wrong with Bella, Alice."

"Right because the whole 'I'm cursed' thing is normal." That was what pushed me over the edge.

"You know nothing!" Alice smirked.

"I know that Bella feels bad for you and that she's only doing this because she has to. Do you really think she would spend all that time with you if she wasn't getting something in return? I doubt it. She's just going to leave you once she finds this guy, if he really exists,"

"Like I said you know nothing," I turned away from her I couldn't bring myself to look at her anymore.

I know I shouldn't be thinking this but was Alice right? Did Bella feel bad for me? No, I know that Bella truly wants to see me happy; I've never felt pity from her. But I couldn't help but think about the last thing Alice said, was Bella going to leave me once she met her true love. This was just too hard for me to think about. I'm not supposed to be selfish with Bella, I'm supposed to be helping her find her love, but instead I'm thinking about her in ways I should only be thinking about my wife. My wife, my wife Alice who just now hurt me in the worst way possible. How can she possibly be anything more than a roommate to me now?

**BPOV**

I silently prayed that the arguing I heard from outside the room wasn't Jasper's and Alice's but no amount of praying could convince me otherwise. That unpleasant voice could only belong to one person and one person only…Alice. The woman finished fastening a "supporter" on my chest and left me to put my shirt back on. When I exited it was almost instantaneous; the ghostly thin bond that once hung between the man that I had grown to love and the woman that I detested more than anything, was severed completely. Only a dull, angry air sat between them now. And although I was happy, my joy was conflicted with the pain of deciding whether to tell the truth or not.

"_What did she do this time?"_ The pain in Jasper's eyes was so evident, there was no hiding it. "_Jasper?"_

_"Let's get you some more clothes so we can leave. We have to wake early tomorrow." _He got up almost robotically and started to pull shirts and more jeans off wracks. I walked over to him and rested my chin onto his shoulder.

"_Nothing she says is true just remember that okay Jasper. I'm always here if you want to talk about it"_ he turned to me and smiled weakly.

We left the store with many bags, most of which Jasper carried…Alice carried none, of course. We found Edward waiting in the car but I was far more concerned about Jasper to even give Edward a second glance. The ride home was silent except for the quiet encouragements I fed to Jasper as he looked out the window. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift back to what happened when I left that small room. It was just another thing to add to my lists of worries. Could telling Jasper the truth about his relationship with Alice set him free or condemn him to centuries of heartache? But wasn't I doing to the same by keeping the truth away from him? I could not let him live a life like mine. I internally swore at my curse for putting me in this position but it was the curse that lead me this way…without it I wouldn't have met Jasper…I wouldn't have fallen in love. But I would've lived the normal life that I had always wanted and Jasper would be the man that I would never know. The car stopped forcefully on the dirt pathway and I knew that it just Edward getting his steam out. He was the first to leave the car then followed by Alice, the two of them sprinting into the house aggressively.

"_That's not fair." _ I pouted while looking at Jasper.

"_Edward is making me out to be the bad guy when I did nothing wrong." _

_"Why does it bother you so much? I thought you wanted Edward to leave you alone." _

"_Not in that sense. Yes I wanted his uncomfortable gestures to end but not the friendship."_

_"He'll get over it." _He smiled but it didn't meet his eyes, he looked distant. I took the advantage of being alone in the car to scoot closer to Jasper.

"_Jasper, something happened didn't it?" _ He looked at me.

"_I don't know really," _I took his hands into mine.

"_Just tell me what she did,"_

_"She just….she just kept pushing and pushing and pushing, I don't think things can ever be the same," _I squeezed his hands.

"_Tell me what she said." _He sighed.

"_She said that you felt pity for me and that you would leave me once you found your other half. She insulted you so I stood up for you," _His bond broke because he defended me…just another thing to make me feel guilty.

"_You defended me?"_I whispered.

"_Of course I did Bella and I don't regret doing it either." _He looked down. Even though the car was starting to get cold, I wished that I could just freeze time to stay here with Jasper forever, without Edward, without Alice and without my curse….just the two of us.

"_I have never felt pity for you Jasper, you know that right?" _ He kept his head lowered. I brought myself closer so that I was practically sitting in his lap. I put both hands on either sides of his face and lifted up his head. "_Look at me Jasper, I said look at me," _he finally raised his head and I was met with his amber eyes. "_I have never felt pity for you ever, do you understand me?" _ He nodded his head but I needed to hear him say it. "_Say it Jasper, say it," _He opened his mouth and I was inundated with his sweet breath.

_"I know you have never felt pity for me." _I smiled and moved my hands to wrap around his neck as I brought him in for a hug.

Again I sensed that this embrace would different than the others especially since I was sitting in his lap. My lips slightly grazed his neck as I brought them up to his ear.

"_I am never going to leave you," _I whispered into his ear before sliding my head back to rest in the crook of his neck.

I'm not sure how long we sat like that; his arms firmly wrapped around my waist and my hand tight around his neck. But all I know is that it felt right, which was wrong of me to admit because of course Jasper was married and I cursed until I found what Jasper coined as my other half. But a girl is allowed to dream and so that is what I did as Jasper held me in his arms.

_He was running; his arms open wide as if to catch something…or someone. I was running too. Was I running to him? Yes I was running to him, I could feel every fiber in my being pushing to run him, so I pushed harder and harder. Then we met, like two freight trains colliding, and it felt good. His lips, the taste, the shock…it all felt good…Jasper felt good. _

I was pulled out of my bitter sweet dreams by small nudges. I blinked many times before focusing on the person who had dared to wake me from the best dream I had ever had in centuries. His blonde curls made me smile as I sat up on the bed.

"Sorry for waking you up but I have to get you ready for school."

"I hope you know that you just interrupted one of the best dreams I've ever had."

"I think you'll enjoy this more," I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Enjoy what exactly?"

"You speaking English,"

"What are you...Oh my! I am speaking English!" I leapt up from the bed and into his arms. "I'm speaking English Jasper!" He laughed and pulled me closer.

"Yes you are!" I pulled away grinning.

"Thank you so much!" I jumped off the bed.

"Where are you going?"I smiled.

"Well I have to get ready for school, don't I?"

**JPOV**

"Well I have to get ready for school, don't I?" I smiled at her and tried to my best to feel happy for her but it was hard.

Last night was one of the best nights in my entire existence. After Bella fell asleep in my arms, I carried her into her room and began my repetition of English words. But when Bella whimpered my name as she slept, it proved to me just how much she cared for me and how she never did feel pity for me. It was hard for me not to pull her into my arms and run as fast as I could, away from Alice away from Edward and away from the shadow of my past. But it was her beating heart that stopped me; because as much as I would hate to admit it, that heart belongs to someone else. And whoever that man is, I will envy him.

Bella finally finished dressing; she popped out of her closet in the same form fitting jeans from yesterday but a gray camisole sweater. She did a twirl just like in the store and smiled at me.

"Let's go." She grabbed my hand and dragged me out the room.

When we got downstairs everyone was there, Alice who I hadn't talked to since yesterday was laughing with Rosalie. Bella squeezed my hand when she caught me looking. She walked into the kitchen, still holding my hand.

_"Good morning Bella, how was your night?"_ She turned to me and grinned.

"I had a great night, thank you for asking." She beamed. Carlisle dropped his paper on the counter in shock.

"You're speaking English." She laughed as she pulled a thermos of blood out from the fridge.

"Yes I am, Jasper really did a good job."

"He sure did," Esme added in. "It's nice to finally talk to you. That's a very nice sweater you have on."

"Thank you, Jasper picked it out for me."

"Well it suits you well." She turned to me and smiled.

"Jasper knows me so well." She squeezed me hand as she brought the thermos up to her lips.

"Are you ready for school?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure how I'll like being around pubescent girls and boys but I have to start somewhere," I know it's wrong but I'm happy that she's not looking forward to this anymore than I am. But am I prepared for the juvenile boys who are going to be attracted to Bella? Only time will tell.

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**Did you guys love it just as much as i loved writing it? Let me know what you think in a review please. Things are finally starting to pick up pace. Next chap: Bella confronts Edward and Bella catches a boy's eye. Trust me it's not Mike but a new character! PLEASE review and let me know what you think. Thanks guys!**


	19. The First Steps

**Sorry for the wait guys, I had planned to post on Monday but I was studying for my psych exam so here it is! Thanks for hanging in there with me. Review plz**

**disclaimer: i own nothing**

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**BPOV**

Somehow I managed to get stuck in the car with Alice and of course Jasper while the others drove with Edward in his small silver car. Edward was still ignoring me which I did not see completely as a bad thing but I knew that we have to talk sooner or later.

"We're going to have so much fun Bella! I just know all of the guys are going to be falling heads over heels for you." I rolled my eyes and shifted in the seat.

"She only needs one guy Alice," Jasper seethed. For some reason he looked very uneasy.

"I _know _that, but she's allowed to have fun." I rested my hand on Jasper's and looked at him.

He was looking out the window with his teeth clenched, I wasn't sure what to make of his feelings but so I just assumed that it was because of his fight with Alice. I leaned into him and snuggled into his side. His eyes shot down at mine and instantly warmed. He wrapped his arm around me and sighed; could this be as hard for him as it is for me? No words were needed to be said, I knew that he would always be there for me and I for him. I sent a wave of friendship to him while being careful to not mix my others feeling for him. However it was hard not to let him know it, so I was sure he felt some part of it. He lowered his head down to mine and whispered into my ear.

"_Me too." _ I smiled at his use of my language.

"_Is this going to be our secret language now?" _He smiled and so did I.

We pulled into what I assumed to be the school and parked near Edward's car. I reluctantly left Jasper's side to exit the car. And as if a spot light was shining down at me; all the eyes of the human teenagers locked straight onto me. I shifted uncomfortably under their scrutinizing stares and turned to face the others.

"Are they always like this?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet Bella," Emmett boomed.

"What do you mean?" He laughed again.

"Bella come on look at us," And so I did. "Everything about us is attractive; our scent, our voices, our bodies. Humans just love to stare at us." I nodded with uncertainty. What was I getting myself into?

"Come on Bella, we should get you checked in," Jasper's voice pulled me out of my moment.

"Okay, um will I have all classes with you?" He frowned.

"Unfortunately you won't, we only have one classes together." I was sure that I couldn't hide my disappointment.

"Don't worry, we'll have lunch together. It's just that you can't read English yet so you have to take ESL writing and reading classes."

"ESL?"

"English as a second language. But you won't be in it for long. I'm sure you will learn very fast." I nodded my head but still couldn't shake away the feeling of clinginess that I felt toward Jasper.

"So what is the class that I have with you?"

"Art," I smiled.

"Well I guess that's okay, are any of you guys in my other classes?" I looked at them.

They all shook their heads. Great, now I was going to be alone for more than half of the day.

"You'll do fine Bella," I turned to Edward. "Just be yourself." He smiled crookedly.

"Edward-" He put his hand up to silence me.

"Let's not talk about this now, you really should get going." I nodded my head and turned to Jasper.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"I guess so."

We started to walk through the crowded parking lot and just like Emmett had warned; everyone was staring even more than before. How am I suppose to filter out the guys who I absolutely know can't be the one, without making it obvious. Of course I don't know who this man is but I'm sure that when I see him I'll feel something, right? No, no, no that can't be true because….Jasper. I turned and looked at him. His face was relaxed but I could still sense some tenseness.

"Are you okay?"He looked over at me.

"Honestly?" I nodded my head even though I really wanted him to lie to me. "I don't want you to be here," I stopped moving even though it caused traffic.

"Why not?" he sighed and pulled on my hand, causing me to continue walking.

"I just don't like the guys at this school," I huffed.

"I doubt you know everyone Jasper," He sighed.

"I just…not everyone is trustworthy."

"Jasper of course I know that, trust is earned not just given away. Don't worry too much about me okay?" He smiled weakly.

"I can't help it." I wasn't sure if taking his hand was a good idea but I did it anyway.

"Thank you…for everything." He nodded and I dropped his hands.

We walked into a small room and up to a counter. The women behind it immediately snapped her head up when she noticed us waiting. Her glare altered between Jasper and I, but she settled on Jasper in the end.

"Oh Good morning Jasper,"

"Good morning Mrs. Teal," She blushed furiously and looked down. I turned to Jasper and scolded him with my eyes. He laughed and shrugged.

"This is Bella Cullen, the new edition to our family," she looked at me with twinkling eyes.

"Aww what a beautiful name Bella, yes I do remember your father called earlier. Welcome to Forks High Ms. Cullen."

"Thank you," She beamed again, did we really have such a big affect on humans? I tried to think about the humans I was around before this awakening.

"Well here is your schedule Bella, I'm sure that Jasper will show you to your classes."

"Thank you,"

"You're so welcome dear." We turned and left the office and walked into the student hallway.

"Wow, Emmett was right." He laughed again.

"So your first class is right there," He pointed to a blue door.

"Thanks."

"I should take you to your locker." I nodded and followed him to a blue storage. "This is your locker, just twist it to the left until you hear a small click then twist it to the right until you hear another click, and then again to the left, it should open after that."

"Okay, like this?" I reached towards the lock and twisted it until I heard the almost inaudible clicks.

"Good," Jasper leaned against it, again with a pained look in his eyes.

"What's wrong now?" he furrowed his brows and looked at me.

"Everyone is excited; it's making it very hard for me to concentrate."

"Oh" I forgot about that. I reached up my hand to smooth back his hair but dropped it back down to my side. I'm not allowed to do that anymore, well not at school. He seemed to have understood because he sighed.

"The bell is going to ring soon, I'll be waiting for you outside the door when you're done," I smiled at him but the urge to touch him was killing me. It's going to take me a while to get used to this.

"Thanks Jasper," I whispered.

"See you after okay?" I nodded my head just as he turned to leave.

I watched Jasper disappear down the hall before I walked into my class. I really hoped that I would learn fast so that I could transfer into a class with Jasper. Was it wrong for me to want that? To want to be here for Jasper only, and not the other eligible guys? Yes, it was wrong of me, I want nothing more than to be free of this curse.

"Ah you must be Bella Cullen, I'm Mr. Monahan." He stretched his hand out toward me so I took it.

"Yes I am Bella. It's nice to meet you Mr. Monahan." He looked shocked.

"Why Bella your English is perfect, so is it just reading and writing that you have trouble with?"

"Yes,"

"Well not to worry, I have a teacher's assistant who will be more than happy to help you out."

"Teacher's assistant?"

"Yes, Nash would you come for a second?" A boy in the back, who I had mistaken for a student, rose up and walked over to us. "Nash this is Bella Swan, she is new to the school and I want you to help her catch up."

"Hello Bella," He nodded his head which caused his black hair to fall over his eyes. He quickly smoothed it back and smiled.

"Hi," I finally managed to say.

"Come on, we should sit in the back." I nodded my head and followed his obviously muscled back to the corner of the room.

He pulled out a chair for me and sat down. He pulled out a notebook but I found myself only transfixed on his face. He turned to me and flashed another white smile; I narrowed my eyes and tried to focus.

"So Bella, where are you from?" Where am I from?

"Egypt," He smiled again.

"Wow, I always wanted to go there but this job doesn't pay much." He laughed and I found myself doing the same. His voice was hard but in a way very soothing.

"It's very beautiful there,"

"When did you leave?"

"Just a couple of months ago." He looked surprised.

"And you know English already?"

"I'm a fast learner." I smiled.

"Well then I guess we should get started." He pulled a pen out from his bag so I did the same. "Okay so show me how much you can write so far," I bit my lip and looked down.

"I don't know anything actually," He laughed.

"That's okay Bella. Let's just start with the alphabet today." I nodded my head and watched as his hand wrote down the letters I had to learn.

**JPOV**

The only thing that I could concentrate on was the black clock that hung above the door in my English class. It was as if the minute hand was stuck on that same number; refusing to move. STOP, how could I have let her do this? Why didn't I come up with a better solution for her? Who am I kidding? I don't want Bella to be looking for this man at all; I want her to stay with me. But that's being selfish, Bella deserves her life, she deserves to be curse free. I tapped my foot on the linoleum floor and continued to stare at the clock.

Maybe I should just tell Bella how I feel, how I want her to choose me even though her fate lies with someone else. I would be selfish and keep her with me forever…I need her. I closed my eyes and instantly her face materialized in front of me. She was laughing and holding her hands out to me and I felt my hand stretching out towards her. We were so close; she was urging me to hurry, telling me that if I didn't hold on, I would lose her forever.

"Jasper do you have an answer?" she frowned before dropping her hand and dissipating to nothing.

"Irony," I said to the teacher irritated.

"Good job Jasper," I nodded and then quickly closed my eyes; searching for Bella….but she wasn't there.

I was the first one out of my seat and out the class when the bell rang. The urge to see Bella and just to hold her hand to tell her that I wasn't going to leave her, was unbearable. It was as if my heart truly was alive and it was pulsating so hard that I could become lightheaded at any minute. I pushed my way through the crowd as delicately as I could without actually hurting anyone. I saw Alice shaking her head as she exited her class I clenched my fists and pushed my way even harder to room 201. I reached the door just as Bella was coming out…smiling. Next to Bella was Nash; the guy whom all the girls in our school crushed on, besides us of course Nash was very popular. He wasn't enrolled at Forks High as a student but as a teacher's assistant.

"You did great Bella." He squeezed her arm.

"Are you just saying that?" she laughed.

"Bella you have nothing to worry about, you did an amazing job."

"Thanks Nash, will you be here tomorrow?" he smirked.

"I'll be here as long as you need me. I'll see you later." He smiled and walked down the hall.

For some reason I felt rooted to my spot, moving felt too hard to do but when I saw Bella's eyes searching for me my legs suddenly had enough will power to walk towards her. When she saw me approaching she grinned and I found myself doing the same even though I was thinking other things. She stretched her arms out to me and I did not hesitate to take her into my arms. I held her as close as I could without attracting too much attention.

"I missed you Jasper," She whispered.

"Me too," Was it weird that we both felt this way? Could it mean that she loved me too? No, Bella couldn't possibly harbor anything else but friendship for me.

I unwillingly let go of her and started to walk her to her next class.

"Did you enjoy your class?" She smiled.

"Yes I did, the teacher's assistant was very nice to me." I bet he was.

"Nash?"

"Yes, do you know him?"

"Not really but I see him around,"

"Oh, how old is he?" why did she want to know?"

"Why?" she shrugged as we reached her locker.

"Just curious, so how old is he?"

"Around twenty two," she dropped her book into the locker."

"Oh," she closed it shut. "Are you okay?" I nodded my head even though I felt sick.

I felt like my dead heart was dying all over again because Bella was hiding something about Nash, what else could it be other than that she was attracted to Nash? I wasn't really prepared for something like this to happen so soon. Could I win back Bella even though she never really was mine?

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**Okay so the new guy is Nash! Tall black hair and not a student! Will something happen between the two of them? Or is Jasper overreacting? **

**Next chapter: Jasper and Bella fight....i know i know plz don't hate me but it'll all work out you'll see ;) Review and tell me what you think plz! thanks~**


	20. Coming Close

**Okay guys so just want to give you a heads up that this story will be ending soon, a couple of more chapters left. There will be a sequel, not sure of the title yet, i'm going to have to consult Michelle on that one but don't worry i'm going to finish both of them lol. I'm really excited to start it actually! A lot will be happening in the next few chapters so hold on! Thanks Michelle for helping me out! Seriously this story wouldn't be the same without you.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all**

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**BPOV**

"Oh," I closed the locker shut. "Are you okay?" Jasper looked like he was struggling with something.

"I'm fine." Did he think that I was stupid or something?

"Jasper," I pleaded. His eyes met mine and I was hit with extreme devotion and…love? I stumbled back a bit and refused to look between us.

"Bella what's wrong?" He put his hand on my shoulder but I kept my eyes fixed onto my locker.

"Nothing, I'm okay." I managed to stutter.

"Well the bell is going to ring soon; we should get to your next class." I nodded my head and followed him down the hall.

I tried my best not to look between us; to not see what I already knew was there. My eyes wandered on their own and locked onto the bright pink bond that linked Jasper and I. It was love, although just budding, it was love. Jasper loves me? Why? I can't think about this now, I cannot do what I've been wanting to do for so long. He's married and although his bond with Alice is broken, I must respect his vows.

We stopped at a door which I assumed to be my class. I looked up at him and tried my best to smile.

"Well here's your next class, I'll be waiting outside for you okay,"

"Thank you Jasper," He smiled and then turned to leave.

I let out the breath that I didn't know that I was holding and walked into the class room. The teacher greeted me just like Mr. Monahan and told me to sit in the front row. I was surprised when I saw Nash walk in to classroom with a grin plastered on his face. I furrowed my brows and mouthed "what are doing here," to him.

"Ah Nash, yes I got your note. I think it will be a great idea for you to be Bella's personal tutor." My personal tutor?

"I thought you might need my help in all of your ESL classes, I hope you don't mind." His voice was fascinating to me; the way his lips formed every word. He smirked as if had heard my thoughts.

"Of course not, thank you."

"It would be best if we sat in the back." I nodded my head and followed him to the back of the room.

All eyes were on us as we sat down in the two empty seats in the back of the class room. I didn't have to be an empath to know what all of the girls in the class were feeling. Their envy was evident. But why? Was it me or was it Nash? I looked over at him while he rummaged through his bag for something. His muscles flexed under his tight black shirt as he continued to pull items out of his bag. He turned to me and smiled. I found myself unable to break away from his green eyes; they seemed to churn and swirl slowly. It must've been the effect of the lights but I blinked anyway just to make sure.

"This should help you keep track of what you've learned so far." He handed me what looked like a journal.

"Do all the students get this?" He grinned; flashing his incandescent teeth.

"Only the ones I like," I could feel my face burning red under his stare. "I'm just playing with you Bella, of course they do," somehow I wasn't convinced. "Okay so let's start where we left off." He brought his desk closer to mine and leaned over to write in my journal.

I watched as his the pencil in his hand formed the letter A. I let my gaze wander far off more than I should've and I found myself staring at his eyes again. There was something about the jade tint of his eyes that confused me.

"Do you remember what sound the letter A makes?" His downy voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"aa," he nodded his head.

"Good job Bella, but remember that the letter A can either sound like aa or a" I nodded my head as he smiled.

"Okay now it's your turn to write it." I took the pencil from his hand and shakily wrote the letter A.

"That looks awesome Bells," I turned my head and furrowed my brows at my new nickname. "Oh I'm sorry that kind of just slipped out."

"No it's okay, I like it," I said more rushed than I would've liked.

"You sure?" I nodded my head and watched as he wrote down the next letter. "Do you remember the name of this letter?" I looked down at the capital B that he wrote.

"Yes, that's B." He smiled.

"Great, now what sound does it make?" I bit my lip.

"Buh?" He nodded his head.

When the bell rang I found myself rushing to get outside, working with Nash was ok but I couldn't fight the fact that I wanted to be with Jasper right now. I hastily said goodbye to Nash and hurried out the door. Jasper was leaning against the wall across from the class room door. My mouth involuntary pulled up to form a smile just like it always does when I see Jasper. I walked over to him but made sure not to do anything like hug him even though every muscle in my body twitched to do so. So I settled on waving to him awkwardly.

"Did you enjoy your class?" My mind flashed back to the last ten minutes of class where Nash started to act a little too friendly.

"Very enjoyable," I lied. We started to walk through the hall again under the stares of all the students.

"It takes a while to get used to." I furrowed my brows. "The staring." I nodded my head.

At the end of the hall I could see Alice laughing with Rosalie, but once her eyes hit Jasper's she stopped laughing. I could feel Jasper stiffen beside me as he locked eyes with Alice. I made a mental note to myself to talk to him about him about that.

"So what class do I have next? Please tell me its art." He looked down at me and grinned.

"Yes its art." This time I couldn't help myself; I clung onto Jasper from the side and relished the brief moment of contact before releasing him.

"I'm excited too."

"Are you a good artist Jasper?" I asked as we walked through the door.

"Well I wouldn't say that." The female teacher walked over to us just as we sat down at a rectangular black table.

"Jasper! I was just talking to my other class about you." I rolled my eyes and kicked Jasper under the table while feigning a smile to the teacher.

"Oh really? Good things I hope," I mocked.

"Of course! Jasper is one of my most talented students." Jasper kicked me back.

"I'm sure," I stated dully.

"You must be the new student, Ms. Bella Cullen," I secretly took pleasure at hearing my name paired along with Cullen.

"Yes I am,"

"Well welcome to Forks High School." She smiled at me even though I knew she'd rather be alone with Jasper right now.

"One of her most talented huh? What happened to 'well I wouldn't say that.'?"

"She obviously exaggerated ," I laughed and leaned my head onto his shoulder for a second.

"Okay class let's get started with today's lesson. We will be exploring the art of making portraits. So everyone pair up." I looked at Jasper the same time he looked at me.

"I'll take that as a yes?" He smiled.

"Of course." He replied.

"Now I want you to focus on your partner, every imperfection, every perfection, every flaw should be shown. I want details people! This will count as a big part of your term grade so make it count."

Every imperfection, every flaw? It would be foolish of me to say that Jasper was perfect but on the outside Jasper showed no faults…he was beautiful. I pulled the blank canvas closer to me and grabbed the pencil that laid close by. I stared at Jasper, who by the way, had already began to sketch. I let my gaze wander once again as I ogled him from my seat. I instinctively let my hand draw, not bothering once to look down at my paper. I followed every hard plane in shoulders and I tilted my pencil to show the depth of his muscles. Finally I was at his face, I sighed out silently to myself as I welcomed the pleasuring warming sensation that I found while drawing Jasper's lips. For a quick second I regrettable let my mind form tantalizing scenarios of my lips slowly grazing across Jasper's before breathing in his sweet breath that came along with an unbreakable kiss. When Jasper turned to me with his brow raised, I knew that I had let my imagination roam too far.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice hinted a smirk. But I knew that the best way to keep Jasper from being hurt was to lie. I could not tell him what was really on my mind without having it end badly…he is married. And although I knew what I would say now would hurt, I said it anyway.

"Nash….he really is a great teacher." Hurt flashed in his eyes and disappeared just as quickly as it came. I knew he was trying his best to hide it but I felt it creep out; touching me as if to say "How could you?" I cringed and returned my attention to my picture.

By now it was too hard for me to continue because it meant stealing glimpses at Jasper, and I knew that by doing so I would just make matters worse. I finished the portrait with my memory of Jasper and handed it in to the teacher early. She was appalled that I could create such a "master piece" but half expected it, mentioning how all of the Cullens were talented. Jasper handed his in minutes after me and returned to his seat. The awkward air between us hadn't relented and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as I waited for him to say something…anything.

However I knew that this awkward silence between us was entirely my fault. I knew that by mentioning Nash's name, Jasper would act this way. I knew he disliked Nash but I had too. The sooner Jasper realizes that I will soon be with another man or attract the attention of another man, the better. The need to help Jasper was tugging at me. Alice and Jasper weren't talking, I knew that much but aren't they going to do anything to fix it? Of course it would take years to build back their bond but were they going to make an attempt to save….then it hit me. They don't know that their bond is broken they must just think that they are in a very big fight. I sighed; things just seem to get worse with my existence. I will never regret meeting Jasper, but how can I act like my being here didn't cause this riff? Jasper would be better off without me.

I stole a glance at him; surprised to see that he was looking at me too. His expression was lined with wariness but wanting. I smiled weakly and reached out to touch his hand. I half expected him to pull away but he didn't, instead he took my hand in both of his and sighed.

"That was excruciating" It was worse for me but why would I tell him that?

"I didn't mean to….make you uncomfortable." He smiled but it didn't meet his eyes.

"I wasn't uncomfortable at all, but you looked like you were in deep though before." I nodded my head, knowing that I would have to ask about Alice sooner or later but not here.

"I was…I was thinking about you…and Alice," He dropped my hands and frowned.

"What about her?" I opened my mouth to speak but the bell rang before I had the chance to.

"Later, we'll talk later okay?" he replied with a curt nod and followed me out the room.

We _would _have to talk about it later. Guilt would eat me alive if I knew that I had left Jasper alone and heartbroken while I was off with my savior. If talking Jasper into giving Alice another chance, even if Alice is criminal, would save his heart, then I would do it. I followed him to his locker and waited patiently beside him as he put his bag into the storage.

"So what's next?" he smiled and I almost swooned by the sight it. He was suddenly very cheerful.

"Lunch." Lunch? But they did not eat, wasn't it pointless to go to lunch?

"Of course we don't eat, but it's best to keep the façade to prevent any unnecessary attention to ourselves." I nodded, of course. Our existence to the humans was unknown, so unlike my village centuries ago.

We met up with the rest of the family outside of the cafeteria doors before entering. Edward looked as if he was itching in his skin to talk to me. I smiled at him to show that he was welcome. He strolled over to me, nodding briefly at Jasper.

"How were your first classes Bella?" He asked in his velvety voice.

"They were great! I didn't expect it to be as interesting as this. Humans have certainly changed since my time." He laughed.

"Everyone here is interested in you." I smiled.

"'What are they thinking?" I was a bit curious.

"Hmm well other than the obvious, they want to know where you're from, why you transferred, where Carlisle found you." I laughed.

"We should get inside." Jasper's voice showed his evident irritation.

We walked into the cafeteria and again all attention was on us. I could easily distinguish the words and instantly found out that Edward was right. All conversations were pointed toward to me; where I shopped, why I was here, if I was involved. We sat down at an empty table situated near the corner. I looked at Jasper to find again that he was staring at me. I smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

"Bella are you hungry?" Jasper asked.

"Not really but I guess I should get something?" He nodded his head and I followed him up to the line.

"You don't have to eat much just enough," Edward was beside me in an instant.

We walked up to where vegetables were and I began to pile them onto my plate. I continued down the line until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and half expected to see a crooked smiling Edward but was surprised to meet a pair of dark green eyes. Nash stood beside me with a grin plastered on his face.

"Bella, don't tell me you're a vegetarian." He looked down to my plate then back up at me. I furrowed my brows.

"Of course I am, is there something wrong with that?" He laughed and placed some cucumbers on his plate.

"No of course not, I guess it's just refreshing." I narrowed my eyes.

"Refreshing in what way?" Nash was becoming increasingly hard to read.

"Well not many girls in this school are vegetarians. I think it's cool," I focused my eyes on Jasper, who was standing far behind Nash. He didn't look too happy.

"Thanks." I picked up my plate and started to walk toward Jasper but I could still feel Nash's eyes on me.

"There are plenty of vegetarians in the school." Jasper's voice was tight. I placed my hand on his arm; attempting to calm him.

"Pizza for lunch huh? I'm not sure that's completely healthy Jasper," He took in my joking tone and laughed.

"No, I guess not." I smiled at him and walked with him back to the table.

The day continued with normal routine and we were back home around two thirty. I went straight up to my room and snuggled into my bed. I was exhausted by the day and secretly disliked going. I hoped that tomorrow would be different, with no awkward moments with Jasper. Jasper walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed. I lifted up my head and beckoned him over with my eyes. He climbed onto the bed; lying quietly beside me. I placed my head on his lap and sighed. It was moments like these when I wished that the curse wasn't holding me back from being happy. But I would be happy; I would be happy once the curse was broken and I reunited with my love. But how happy would I be knowing that it wasn't Jasper? I sighed.

"Can we talk now?" he was running his hands through my hair.

"The others-"

"Are hunting, we're alone."

"Okay, I want us to talk about Alice and you," His hands stopped.

"I don't want to talk about Alice, Bella there isn't much to say," I reluctantly lifted my head up from his lap.

"But I think we should Jasper," He got off the bed and stood at the door.

"Why? Why do we have to spoil our time alone with conversations of Alice?" Our time alone….that's why.

"Why aren't you two talking?"

"I thought I told you why," he did but they should be talking.

"Yes you did but Jasper I think you should fix things." He laughed bitterly.

"Fix things? Does it look like I want to fix things?" I crossed the room to hold his hands.

"Jasper I just want what's best for you…she's your wife." He cringed at the last word and seemed to lean into my hands.

"I know…" he whispered.

"Then-"

"How does my bond look like with Alice Bella?" Again it all came down to this.

"Jasper I already told you why I cannot tell you." I released his hands and walked back over to the bed.

"Can't you tell me anything?" I bit my lip.

"I can tell you anything you want _but_ that Jasper. However I know you are changing the subject so that can wait for later."

"Please?" How could I say no to him for this one small thing? I patted the spot beside me and waited for him to sit.

"What is it that you want to know?"

"Your curse, you haven't really explained it." Because it hurt too much to speak that truth. I sighed.

"Jasper, you know much already," he shook his head.

"Please?" again I couldn't say no.

"My curse Jasper is controlling and needy."

"Needy?" I sat farther back onto the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"Need is its primary source, without it I sleep."

"I don't understand." I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose.

"Every time I am awakened, it is because of someone's need to want me around. Without that need, I have no force to keep me awake."

**JPOV**

"Every time I am awakened, it is because of someone's need to want me around. Without that need, I have no force to keep me awake."

The words finally sank in; if I did not need Bella she would fall asleep and be gone from my life. How could she be asking me to reconcile with Alice, when she knew that by doing so she would sleep. She needs me just as much as I need her.

"So what happens if I don't need you?" She jerked her head up from between her knees and frowned.

"Then I shall wait to continue my search until I am awakened again." It hurt even more to hear her say it then it did to think it.

Every look, every touch, every kiss that I could have with Alice would bring her closer and closer to her slumber. There was no way that I could fix things with Alice when I love Bella this much. I would stay away from Alice and devote all of my need, all of my contact to her. I crawled towards her and pulled her into my arms but she was rigid.

"Jasper, you have to talk to Alice," I released her.

"Bella please." She hastily climbed off the bed.

"No Jasper, I won't just brush this off okay. I see how Alice looks at you and you…with her. This is hurting the both of you." Honestly I was just fine with not talking to Alice, but I did miss her presence. I may not be in love with her anymore but I will always love her.

"Some things just don't work Bella." She rolled her eyes.

"You're kidding me right?" She shouted.

"No I'm serious Bella, Alice and I-"

"Are married, you and Alice are married. You made a vow Jasper and I know you're not that type of man to break his promises." No I wasn't but this is different…I love Bella not Alice.

"I know that Bella, but some things aren't meant to be fixed, some things stay broken." I could feel pain and realization flowing through her. "Bella I didn't-"

"No you're wrong Jasper, everything has a resolution. And no matter what you think you and Alice need to fix this."

"I'm sorry Bella but I'm not going to try with Alice." She hissed.

"You're ungrateful do you know that?" she asked lividly.

"What?" She laughed sourly; turning it into a snarl at the end.

"You have love Jasper! Alice loves you and even though you fight, I can still see it in her eyes. She may be annoying and self centered but she loves you and you love her, shouldn't that be enough? You have love without even having to fight for it! Its right in front of you and you're just letting it slip right out of your fingers. I would do anything for love like that, but I'm cursed, doomed to be alone. But you have it…don't let her slip away." I couldn't find any words to say. Bella was standing there shaking.

"Bella," I finally said. She just shook her head.

"I just want to be alone for a while please." I took a step forward but cringed when I saw her take one back.

"Bella,"

"SPACE JASPER! I WANT SPACE!" her whole body trembled. I turned and walked out of her room, giving her the space she wanted.

I suddenly felt human; I struggled to walk into my room without collapsing onto the floor. This was one of the biggest fights that I had ever had with Bella, and it hurt so much to see her so angry. And although she yelled at me, her love was evident in her words. She would sacrifice her own happiness for me. She would give up her intimate need just to see me happy. She would sleep for me. I crumpled to the floor just beside the bed. My love for Bella was threatening to burst out of my body and I had to fight the urge to run into her room and press my lips to hers. Nothing would bring me more peace than to hold her even if it meant that I would have to eventually give her up to the man who she waited for. I would love her for that brief minute before letting her fate lead her to where she belonged. But the one thing I wouldn't do was let her fall asleep without her happiness. She deserved that much…I owed it to her. I just could not do what she asked without fearing that she would be asleep the next morning. Loving Alice would end her life with me and I just could not allow that. I found the strength to stand and walk to my door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see Bella standing on the other side of it.

No words were needed at this moment; I pulled her to me and crushed her into my arms. I could feel her arms wrap around my back, urging me closer. I buried my nose in her hair and realized that I truly could not live without her. Bella is my life now. I could feel her pulling away, and I prayed that it wasn't to tell me that she was leaving.

"I'm sorry Jasper," _She _was sorry? "I shouldn't have pushed you like that; I should've respected your decision like a true friend would." FRIEND, it echoed in my mind. "If you don't want to talk to Alice yet then that's your choice but I really think you should give it some thought."

"You shouldn't be apologizing Bella, you were right about everything. I was being ungrateful." She buried her head against my chest. "I just don't think I'm ready yet." I could feel her nodding.

"Soon?" She whispered.

"Soon" I replied. And even though it hurt to lie to Bella, it was for her own good.

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**Hmm since when was it a good thing to lie to the ones you love Jasper? lol a lot to digest in this chapter. I really hope that you guys have caught on that Jasper seems to be a bit confused about the whole need thing...i hope you all aren't either. Next ch: school days will fly by faster for Bella. And why is Nash all of the sudden so interested in Bella? And will Bella believe the rumors about Nash or will she believe him? Please review and tell me how much you hated or loved this chapter and what you expect on what's to come for Jasper and Bella. Thanks guys!**


	21. Tricked

**Hey guys, I know I usually post earlier in the week but my family received to the news of my grandmothers death so they had to travel to Haiti for the funeral. So I've been staying at my friends house and she has no internet...Okay so the next chapter will be the last chapter for this story. Please don't freak out, the sequel will come right after the next chapter. Thanks for everyone who is reading...and REVIEWING lol it means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

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Five nights ago I fell asleep in Jasper's arms while he slowly rocked me to sleep and I still can't get it off my mind. I probably shouldn't have taken so much pleasure in it, but I did. I loved the feeling of lying against his chest with his arms tight across my waist. Everything about that night was unforgettable…especially the fight we had. I just want Jasper to have something when I'm gone, because as much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't seem like he will have anything unless I do something about itl

"What are you thinking about?" His cool voice pulls me from my thoughts.

It's almost time to wake up, but there's a part of me that wants to stay right here…with Jasper.

"That maybe it's time to wake up." I began to shrug out of his grasp but he just pulled me back.

"Let's skip today," As enticing as it sounded I knew that we shouldn't do such a thing. It was becoming increasingly hard every day to resist Jasper.

"Jasper, I _need _to go school" He sighed and released his hold.

"I know." He rolled out of the bed and stood near the door.

I hated seeing him like this; his pained expression brought me pain as well. If only I had knew….if only I had knew that this whole thing would've brought this sort of ache onto Jasper, then maybe I could've s save him from it all. _A kiss upon your lips_…It's not like I haven't thought of doing it. I've had dreams of kissing Jasper and becoming _his_ other half, him becoming the one.

I try to push my thoughts away as I get dressed but I can't wipe away the image of Jasper and I being intimate together. Focus Bella focus. I walked downstairs and waited for the others to be ready to go. When we got to the school I made sure to avoid Nash before class started. He was becoming more and more annoying for some reason.

"So I'll meet you here after class okay?" Although I did not need reminding, it was nice to hear him say it.

"Hey Jasper man, how's it going." Nash said while appearing by my side.

Every morning they would do the same thing, I think that Nash finds pleasure in seeing Jasper so wound up. So every morning I have to play peace maker between the two of them.

"Okay I'll see you after class Jasper," I smile at him and hope that it will be enough to calm him down. He nods then walks away.

"What's wrong with him this time?" I roll my eyes and walk to my seat.

"You know exactly what wrong." He smirks.

"I have no clue what you're talking about" I pull out my notebook and begin to do the morning assignment. "He just needs to chill out."

"_You _need to chill out, Jasper isn't doing anything to bother you." I felt his hand on mine.

"Actually he is." I shook off his hand and continued to write.

"What are you talking about?" I asked even though I already knew the answer

"Oh I think you know Bella," I ignored him for the rest of the class and was more than happy to have Jasper walk me to my next class.

"You should just ignore him," I told Jasper as we walked to my next ESL class.

"How can I when he's always around? I don't think you should talk to him anymore," I crossed my hands across my chest and stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Jasper you know I can't do that." He sighed deeply.

**JPOV**

I hate everything about him; I hate the way he looks at Bella, the way he touches Bella. I hate that he gets to spend the majority of the school day with her…that should be me.

"Jasper you know I can't do that."

"I know…just be careful okay." I had to fight back the urge to pull her into my arms to hold her like I did those five nights ago. "I'll meet you out here after okay?" She smiled back and disappeared into the class.

I took my time walking to my next class I couldn't get rid of the thoughts of Nash and Bella being together from my mind. I know Bella is only here for the curse but sometimes I wish that she was here for me. SELFISH, yes I am being selfish; I should be supporting Bella not holding her back because of my immature worries. What if Nash is the one? I could be holding her back from her true destiny.

"You're late Mr. Hale." I ignored the teacher's warning and walked to the back of the class room to my seat.

Images of Bella ghosted over my eyes as I pretended to do the assignments on the board. I just couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities of Bella actually finding her love at Fork High School, all the guys in this school couldn't possibly be worthy of Bella's love. Maybe I should just tell Bella how I feel, maybe then she'll….WHAT WILL SHE FEEL? I don't know, I don't know how Bella will react if I profess my love to her. I want so badly for her to want me too but why would she feel that way about me? I know she says I'm not a monster, but why would she want to be with me, when she can have the man that she was destined to be with?

NEED…I need to show Bella just how much she means to me, just how much I love her without actually saying those words. Every touch, every hug, every smile keeps her here with me…keeps her awake. I wonder if Bella would stay with me even if she would still be cursed…would she spend her lifetime with me even if it meant she would never truly be free. Could I really ask her to do that? Could I really take away from her true love just so that she could be with me? Yes…I would do it, I would tell Bella that I dream of being with her forever, that I love her more than my own existence. After school today I will tell Bella how much I love her, how much I need her in my life. Hopefully she'll say the same thing too…

**BPOV**

The only thing that I could look at while Jasper walked me to my class was the two way bond that tied us together. It is one the most beautiful bonds that I have ever seen and bitter sweet too. I love Jasper with all my heart and I know that he loves me too but he has Alice…his wife. I can't just pull him away from his life because I have developed feelings for him. How can I expect him to want a life with me when I have this curse…this other man out there…waiting for me? It would be too much to ask of him and could I really be that selfish? No, I cannot be that person; it is not in my character to be so self-seeking.

"What are you thinking about?" Nash was looking at me with his green eyes, which once interested me but now annoyed me.

"How I can get out of these ESL classes," and into classes with Jasper.

"Well you could just take the English placement test to see if you're ready for the regular classes."

"Really? That would great! When can I take this test?" He smirked and grabbed my pencil from my hand.

"Well it's gonna cost you" I knew that he had to have some sort of secret agenda.

"What?" He began to twist my pencil between his two fingers.

"Well Bella I think we have great chemistry." I furrowed my brows.

"Chemistry? What are you talking about?" He dropped my pencil on my desk and took both of my hands into his.

"Tell me you don't feel that?" Feel what? What was he talking about?

"Feel what?" He squeezed my hands before letting go.

"Ahh Bella I love it when you act so coy."

"So what is it going to cost me to take this test?" All I want is to get out of these classes.

"Meet me after school by your locker and you can pay me," I nodded my head.

"Thank you Nash." Something about his smile worried me but I was too excited to think about it any further.

The bell rang and I got up to pack away my things. I decided to not to tell Jasper about the English test, I want to surprise him with the great news after I pass it. Leaning against the lockers just like every other day was Jasper. I smiled as I walked over to him, each day it gets harder not to touch him…but I know what I have to do.

"You look happy," I smiled and began to walk down the hall.

"Yes I am," His expression was unreadable.

"I guess that means you had a good class?" I knew he was implying it was because of Nash that I was so happy.

"I guess so." He smiled.

"So I was thinking that after school today, instead of going home like we usually do, we can go out."

"That sounds great! Where did you have in mind?" He grinned.

"Well I can't ruin the surprise." I laughed.

"So now it's a surprise? What did I do to deserve such a thing" I joked.

"You deserve everything Bella," His voice was suddenly serious.

"I don't deserve anything Jasper; I have everything I want already," which was true to some extent.

"You do?" I bit my lip; knowing I was treading on thin ice.

"I have you, don't I?" he pulled me into his arms and held me close to his chest. I closed my eyes and savored the moment because I knew it wouldn't last.

"Always….you will _always_ have me." I nodded against his chest and halfheartedly pulled away.

"I know that Jasper," I whispered before walking into the class.

I know that I will always have Jasper but I also know that I will never actually really have him. If he knew that I loved him, would he want to try? No, I shouldn't even think about such a thing. I have two goals and two goals only, help Jasper become happy and find this man who will release me from my curse. Maybe I should've just kept it a secret, maybe I shouldn't have told Jasper about my curse. But what would've happened between us? I'm sure I still would've fell in love with him and him with me but would he pursue me? Does he want to pursue me now? I look over to him and see him drawing; everything about Jasper draws me to him…I wouldn't have ever expected to feel this way about him.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing really just about when we first met,"

**JPOV**

"Nothing really just about when we first met," I could feel my mouth frowning, she was probably regretting ever meeting me.

"No, no not bad thoughts Jasper," She says while placing her small hand on mine. "I just…things were a lot less complicated then wasn't it?" Yes…but that was only because it was before I fell in love with her.

"What do you mean?" she tries to move her hand away from mine but I hold onto it; refusing to break out physical contact.

"I know that this whole curse thing is hard," she sighs. "I really wish that I didn't drag you into it."

"Please don't think that Bella, I'm glad that you trusted me enough to share that part of your life with me,"

"Of course I trust you Jasper but that is not what I mean." She pulls her hand away and this time I let her. "I see the toll it's taking on you…and I'm sorry," she lowers her head and plays with her hands in her lap.

"Why are you sorry? I don't understand what you're trying to say."She lifts up her head and pulls a blank piece of paper toward her.

"I know it's hard for you to see me….to…to," she stops and lowers her heads again. "Never mind." I lift her head up and she looks at me; her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Bella please just talk to me." She turns her head away.

"Things…things would've been better for you if I never was awaken." She regrets meeting me; being my friend.

"How can you say that?" she turned her head back to me and smiled weakly.

"I don't regret meeting you at all Jasper, I feel so blessed to have known you. You have taught me so much, you're my best friend and I cherish every moment we have together. Please trust me when I say this okay; I will never regret you…ever."

"Then what are you trying to say?" I ask while pulling her hands into mine, not caring that the teacher is watching us.

"I just can't help but to wonder that I've ruined things for you _by_ being in your life."

"If anything Bella you have made it better," She pulls her hand away while sighing.

"Jasper why can't you see it? Yes I helped you with your thirst issue but I know you would've been able to do it on your own…without me."

"No you're wrong, I've always needed you," She sighs again.

"That's sweet of you Jasper but you and I know that I've wrecked something's in your life" What was she talking about? My life would be in devastation if it wasn't for her…I owe her everything.

"Bella you're not making any sense, do you know how much you have changed my life for the good?"

"What about Alice Jasper? You two would still be together if it wasn't for me." I couldn't suppress my laugh.

"Bella is that what this is all about?" She nods her head. "Alice and I were bound to break up, please don't feel like it's your fault."

"How could I not Jasper? I know I've been selfish with you when you should've been with your wife."

"You were not being selfish at all."

"But you're going to work things out right?" I knew this conversation would come up again.

"It's not as easy as it sounds Bella,"

"Well do you love her?"

"Yes, I will always love her but-"

"But nothing Jasper. When you love someone, you will do anything to be with them; to fix things so they will work. Living your life in regret because you didn't make that move, will make your life a living hell," This must be a sign; this _has_ to be a sign. If I don't tell Bella today, how I really feel then I could losing her forever.

"You're right Bella,"

"I am? Wow that was easier than last time." She laughed.

"Today I will express my feelings." She hugged me and I closed my eyes from the sheer enjoyment of her touch.

"Any woman would be lucky to be on the receiving end of your feelings Jasper, even Alice," even you?

The bell rand just as Bella pulled away from me, we had spent the whole class talking about this. The conversation only solidified the fact that I need to tell Bella that I love her before it is too late. We walked to lunch together and met the others at the door. I guess I wasn't doing a good job at hiding my thoughts because Edward was sending me harsh waves of anger and disappointment.

"Jasper can I talk to you alone for a minute?" His eyes were closed and his hands in fists.

"Actually I was going to help Bella with something." I looked over at Bella with pleading eyes.

"It's really vital to my learning that Jasper help me with this Edward." He frowned.

"Please Bella? I'm sure it won't take longer than three minutes." She bit her lip.

"Well than I guess it's fine."

"Thank you," he turned to me and waved forward.

Once we were far enough for anyone to hear us, Edward punched one of the lockers; leaving a permanent dent in the surface.

"Just what do you think you're doing Jasper? Are you out of your mind?"

"Actually I think for the first time in a long time I'm in a perfect state of mind." He scoffs.

"What about Alice? How could you do this to her?"

"This has nothing to do with Alice."

"How can it not? She your wife for Christ's sake, I think that means she has a lot to do with this."

"Alice and I are-"

"Don't you dare say broken up! I just had a class with her earlier and she was telling me about how she's going to talk to you today."

"She can talk all she wants; it won't change how I feel,"

"And just what do you feel Jasper?"

"We wouldn't be here if you didn't know that Edward,"

"You do not love her," I couldn't keep calm anymore.

"You don't know anything Edward!" I hissed.

"Really? So I don't know that you're planning on telling Bella that you love her even though you're a married man? How do you think Bella will react to that? That she'll want to have an affair with you? That she'll want to be your mistress?"

"It's not going to be like that!"

"Then how Jasper? Because I don't see it working out any other way! Bella has one thing and one thing only on her mind and it's finding her true love, not indulging in your sick fantasies."

"Like I said you don't know anything."

"I may not know everything about Bella but I do know that she has morals, she isn't going to automatically swoon when you tell her you love her. How do you know if something like this won't cause her to sleep? You're not the only person who cares about her."

"I…"I just couldn't find the words to speak. I couldn't fathom what life would be without her.

But it looks like you have your mind made up; I really hope you don't grow to regret it." He pushes himself off the lockers and walks back to the cafeteria.

Why does Edward always have to do this? Why does he always add clarity to things? I love Bella with all my heart and I can't just forget about those feelings. I know that if I don't act now, the only thing that I _am_ going to regret is not telling her in the first place. But what if Bella does react the way Edward said she would? Am I really asking Bella to be my mistress? MARRIED, yes, as long as am married then that is exactly what I am asking Bella to be. How could I forget such a major detail? I don't want Bella for her body but for everything that she is. I love her because she understands me, she knows how I'm feeling even before I do and she only looks forward with me. Everything about Bella makes my dead heart come alive, could I really pass up this chance just because I'm married? Can I let Alice ruin the possibility of Bella and I having a future?

BPOV

I'm pretty sure that Jasper didn't want to go and talk with Edward but I shouldn't be holding him back from anything that involves his family. Well at least Edward is back but what is taking Jasper so long? I wonder what it was they were talking about exactly. Whatever it was, Edward is still upset by it. I'm not sure if I should comfort him or not. He hasn't really made any advances toward me but his bond with me is still there.

"Is everything okay Edward?" He snapped open his eyes and turned to me.

"Everything…is fine." His voice proved different.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?' he smiled weakly and took my hands into his but I did not pull away; it was a friendly gesture.

"Bella what do you do when you know someone is about to make one of the biggest mistakes of their lives" I slowly pull my hands away but smile.

"Well sometimes you have to let them learn from their own mistakes, especially when they have already refused your advice."

"That sounds logical but what if this mistake will hurt more than just this person, what if there are already people involved?"

"Is it a life or death situation?" he sighs.

"Not but something like that," I narrowed my eyes.

"What's going on Edward?"

"Bella I want you to know that we all care about you deeply and we consider you a part of our family."

"Edward," I warned. "What is going on? Where is Jasper?"

"Just remember that okay?" He turned away just as Jasper came over to sit down.

"Okay you better start talking," He furrowed his brows.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"I think I should be asking you that question."

"I'm fine Bella,"

"_I know when you are lying Jasper, please just be honest with me." _ I said in my native language.

"_Edward is just being his usual self that's all," _

_ "Are you sure? Because he was talking to me about some life and death situation,"_ he rolled his eyes.

"_You should know by now that Edward likes to over exaggerate everything"_ True.

Jasper refused to talk about Edward any longer so we spend the rest of lunch in silence. I did not want think about what Edward meant but I could not help but to imagine just what he could be hinting at. And after all of my ideas, they always came down to me. Whatever Edward was telling me about, had something to do with me. And I just know that whatever it is….it isn't going to end well.

The rest of the day went as it usually did, Nash helped me with my English and I paid attention. By then the worries of the conversation at lunch were gone, I was too excited about meeting Nash afterschool. I haven't forgotten about Jasper but I'm sure that this thing with Nash will only take a few minutes.

"Are you ready to go?" He sounded excited.

"Um I have to go see my teacher about something, how about I meet you at the car when I'm done?"

"I can come with you," He offered.

"No it's fine Jasper, really. I'll meet you outside in a few."

"Alright," he smiled.

I felt a little guilty for lying but my excitement overshadowed it. Finally I would be able to take Jasper out of his misery; he would never have to see Nash and we could have classes together. Where is Nash anyway? He was supposed to be here already. I open my locker and double check that everything I need is in my bag. When I close my lockers I can't help but to step back a bit. Standing beside my locker is Nash, grinning.

"Aw I didn't mean to scare you Bells,"

"It's Bella,"

"Well I kind of like that nick name don't you?" He steps closer to me.

"Not really, look Nash can we just do what we talked about?"

"Oh yea your payment for the test," He smirks.

"Exactly, what sort of payment do you want?" He steps so close to me that his smell of his body becomes overwhelming.

"The only kind a girl can provide." His body is physically touching mine now.

"You," I hold on to his arms which have somehow snaked around my waist. "Are violating my personal space."

"Hmm about that payment," I try pushing him off but he doesn't budge.

Before I have a chance to react, Nash's lips on mine and I'm standing there frozen. I can't seem to think clearly, not because I'm so intoxicated by the kiss but because it's wrong. Everything about Nash's lips moving on mine is wrong. Finally I come to my senses long enough to push a leering Nash away. I bring my hands up to my mouth and wipe away trace of Nash off of them. I can only think of how much better this would've been if had been with Jasper.

"Just what do you think you were doing?" He leans onto the locker and crosses his hands across his chest.

"You know it probably would've been more enjoyable if you had kissed back." I scoffed.

"Kissed back? Why on Earth would I have done that?" He rolls his eyes.

"Because you want me," I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Want you? Nash I would barely consider us friends to say that I want you would be ridiculous."

"Ouch that hurts,"

"Believe whatever you want Nash, it doesn't make a difference to me," I start to walk away but he grabs my elbow. I jerk back, pin his arms around his back and slam him into a nearby locker. "Touch me again and you _will _regret it. Do you understand me?" He whimpers but I only tighten my hold. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes…I do…just please…agh… let go of my arm.

I release him and continue to walk down the hall. I can't believe I kept Jasper waiting for this. I walk out into the parking lot only to see that Jasper's car is gone. Did he leave me? Dread washes over me; what if he is hurt somewhere?

**JPOV**

She lied to me….Bella lied to me to be with Nash……

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**Okay so what do you guys think? OMG Jasper saw the kiss, i wonder how he will react. Let me know in your reviews what you think is going on. Thanks again!**


	22. Need is lost and so am I

**Okay so it's so sad to say but this is the last chapter to Awaken to Serve :( but don't worry the next story is already in works and you should expect it either at the end of this week or the beginning of next week. I don't want to spoil the story for you by telling you the title of the sequel just yet so i'll save it for the end of this chapter. Thanks for everyone who read and reviewed the story! I'm still going to expect you guys to review on this last chapter so please don't be shy leave me a review, it makes me smile. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns Twilight but this plot is mine :) lol**

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**BPOV**

Something is not right; Jasper wouldn't leave me without talking to me first. He looked so excited about his surprise for me so I'm confused why he isn't here. I could walk, I mean I know the way back but what if Jasper comes back and I'm not here? I decide to go with my gut and start to walk the long way back home. I'm startled when I feel something drop onto my head but I smile when I realize that it's a drop of rain. I smile and stretch my hands out as if trying to touch as much of the rain as I can. A couple of months ago the thought of this rain would bring back memories of my life back in my village but now it reminds me of Jasper. I remember that day I sat in a clearing outside his house and how I cried so hard because I thought that there was no hope for my happiness, no hope for a future. But it shows me how far I've come, how far Jasper and I've come together. I can't believe I actually thought that Jasper wouldn't want me as a friend; it's funny because he is so much more than that. Sad though that he doesn't know that but how _can_ tell him that?

By now my clothes are clinging to my skin and I'm shaking but I'm still walking. It seemed like a good idea in the beginning but now I'm beginning to regret it. Not because I'm soaked or because my teeth are slightly chattering but because I have time to think and I don't want to think. Every time I start to contemplate anything, it always comes down to Jasper. I'm happy that his face graces my thoughts but it's the thoughts behind his beautiful face that makes me cringe involuntarily. After I think about how much I love Jasper and how lucky I am to have him in my life, I begin to think about how I'm letting him down. I think about how every day I lie to him and push him to love someone he never will. I think about how bad I am for him and how leaving would give him peace but me hell. If I was out of the picture he could finally pursue his broken marriage with Alice or even find love with someone else without me hanging in the wings. I know he worries about me and if I'll ever be happy but I will always be content even if I don't break this curse, as long as Jasper is happy. That's all I really want; to see Jasper's life complete…even if that means me out of the picture and Alice plastered all over it. I would give up my very own bliss just to insure that Jasper was in high spirits.

I guess I'm altruistic when it comes to Jasper or at least I've been trying to be. I look ahead and see the dirt path that will eventually lead to the house. His car is parked there so I'm guessing he is home. I can't help but to smile and feel relieved that he is safe. I just want to be in his arms right now and guiltily enjoy every moment of it.

**JPOV**

I can smell her coming up the drive way but that only fuels the rage that I have in me. How could Bella not tell me the truth? WHAT WOULD THE TRUTH BE? Why was she wrapped in Nash's arms? Why was she kissing him? The very thought of it pushes me to a depressed yet furious state. I really thought I could handle this; I thought that I could handle seeing Bella and her suitors but I was so wrong. I can't even think about it without feeling weak and worthless. It's not fair that stand in her path but why would she lie to me? Does she really think that low of me? I can't help but to feel like she doesn't think I'm worth telling the truth to. There have been days where I could feel her hiding something from me but I just couldn't bring myself to ask her because I feared the truth. I thought that it would be something about her leaving me or not wanting me as a friend or anything.

The rest of the family went out to the mall to buy things for a party that they wanted to throw for Bella so we're home alone. I remember the other time we were alone and I almost killed Bella, now we would be alone and nothing good would come from it either. Right now the Jasper that she helped so much for me to become is gone and this time I don't know if I will be able to control the rage threatening to rip me apart.

"Jasper? Are you home?" I don't say anything but stand, teeth clenched in the living room.

She walks to down the stairs dripping wet and smiling. Her white shirt clings to her chest; something that before would drive me crazy but now only brings me closer to my fury because it reminds me just how much I care for her and just how much she hurt me.

"Jasper what happened? I waited for you outside but you weren't there." She rushes toward me and envelopes me in a hug. And for a second I forget about being hurt and mad. "What's wrong?" she asks after notices that I didn't hug her back.

"Did you speak to your teacher?" I can feel the worry build up in her but quickly wash away.

"Um yes, but you didn't answer my question," She furrows her brows.

"I had to leave," I say dully.

"Okaaaay…is everything okay Jasper? You seem a little tense."

"What did you talk to your teacher about?" I ask.

"…Well… I had to make up some work for that day we skipped when we went to the aquarium."

"Are you sure?" I ask through clenched teeth; by now the other side of me is bubbling over.

"Yes, Jasper what's going on? Did something happen with Alice?" She takes another step closer but I put my hand up to stop her. "Jasper your eyes are black, do you need to hunt? I know you weren't hurt me."

"No but you're hurting me!" I hiss.

"What do you mean?" she frowns.

"Every time you speak you hurt me because everything you say is a lie!"I finally release the jealous demon that was raging inside of me.

"Jasper what are you talking about?" she looks hurt but by now I don't care.

"Do you even care about me? Did you even think once about me while you were with him?"

"Jasper of course I care about you! With all of my heart." She whispers the last part.

"Then you don't care for as much I do for you because I would never do that to you," I say slightly calmer.

"Do what Jasper? I'm so confused, did I do something wrong?"

"I saw you Bella! I saw you with Nash." Her face falls and fills with realization.

"Jasper I can explain that" She pleads.

"Explain how unimportant I am to you and how easy it was for you to lie to me? That's okay, I already know that." She shakes her head and walks closer.

"Please Jasper, you're overreacting," she stretches her hand out but I move out of the way.

"All this time I thought that I was going to lose you because I wasn't doing enough to show you how much I need you. I really did need you, with everything I had in me. But I see the feeling isn't mutual." I spit out.

"Jasper-" She tries but I cut her off.

"You never cared because the whole time you were thinking about Nash! Well if you want him so badly then you can have him because I don't need you anymore!"

"Please don't say that Jasper, I need you….I lo-" she puts her hand on my chest but I throw it off.

"Didn't you hear me? I don't need you anymore! You can be with Nash now without feeling so guilty." I turn away from her and do the only thing I can think of…I run.

**BPOV**

Running would be useless, I can feel his words sinking in already, _'I don't need you anymore,'_ It won't be long until my curse greedily sucks me into the unavoidable slumber that hungers for my pain. Jasper left me; he doesn't need me anymore. I should've told him the truth but I was just trying to protect him; I didn't want to him hurt. But it's too late now because I can feel the overpowering pull in my body. I should've done something to make him stay; to make him stay with me. I fall to the ground and let the tears break through my chest. I've failed Jasper; I told him I would never leave him. _**Broken woman in a trance,**_ _**warning signs sing to the mind, comas not far behind.**_ _**Sleep the eternal sleep**_.

But I'm going to leave; there is nothing tying me to Jasper anymore and therefore I have to leave….I have to sleep. All the memories of Jasper and I assault my mind as I pathetically claw at the carpet while crying. His face ghosts over my eyes and it's like he's there with me again, I stretch my hand out only to find that my touch dissolves Jasper into nothing. His laugh resounds in my ears and it's bittersweet because I know that I will never hear it ever again. I hate myself for telling Jasper of my curse; none of this would be happening…I would've gone to sleep without all of this pain. I think about how I only end up hurting the ones I love the most because of this curse. I think about how I am my curse and maybe it's a good thing that I'm leaving now before any more damage was done to Jasper's life.

I always knew in my heart that Jasper would be able to conquer his thirst; that drive was always inside of him. I smile despite the ache tearing me in half; just thinking about how far we've come together brings a smile to my face. And although it my short time with Jasper is bittersweet, I'm sure that I will never forget him. Jasper will always be mine in my heart and in five years or whatever the length the time will be until I am awakened again, I will tell that vampire of the person who will always have my heart….Jasper. Long ago the idea of finding this true love was so attractive to me that I would do anything to break my curse but now I'm not sure so how appealing it is. Even if I were to break my curse, I would never have Jasper, how could he forgive me? I'd rather spend the rest of my existence doing this while having my memories of Jasper, than to move on with someone else…forgetting Jasper is something I would never do.

I somehow am able to walk up the stairs to my room. I want to leave something behind for Jasper, to tell him how much I love him. I'm not going to explain the kiss with Nash because it will only bring him guilt. I take off my clothes and slip into the same dress that I was awakened it. By now it's hard to keep my eyes open but the need to write to Jasper keeps me awake for this short moment.

I place a CD into the radio and put it on repeat knowing that it will pass on the message to Jasper just in case he doesn't read my letter. More memories float around in my mind; Jasper and I would spend hours on end just listening to different CDs. I miss that, I miss those days when we could just say everything without saying anything at all. I will cherish these memories as I sleep; I will blissfully dream of Jasper.

I sleepily walk back to the bed and begin to write the letter that will hopefully let Jasper know of all the love in my heart, body and in soul.

_Dear Jasper,_

_ Do not think this is your fault, it was my time to leave and there was nothing that either of us could've done to stop it. Today did not go as I planned and I want to apologize for hurting you because you were right. I have been hurting you when I really thought that I was protecting you and I will live with that forever. But I will also live with my memories of your smile, laugh and most of all your love. I never thought that this awakening would leave me with something so special and so strong. Please don't grieve for me Jasper because although I won't be there in person, I will always be watching over you. A piece of me will forever be with you. I leave you my charm from my bracelet; my mother said that once I find that man that I love, that should give it to him. But you are the man that I love Jasper, I love you so much. I'm sorry that I never said it before but it was not my place to do so. I did not want to come in between of you and Alice so I kept this secret to myself. I have to go now but please promise me Jasper that this letter will not bring you pain but happiness because everything I have done has been for your happiness. Please do not fight with Carlisle; let him bury my body, I will not awake again for you and although I wish I could, it is not possible .Farewell my sweet prince, may my love never leave your side….don't give up Jasper, I've always believed in you and I always will._

_ -Love always Bella_

I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to fold the letter so I tucked it in next to me. I could feel my eyes slowly closing but before they did, a single slow falling tear rolled down my cheek. Good bye Jasper, I love you.

**JPOV**

I removed my mouth from the deer and disgustingly threw it to the ground. I was disgusted with myself; with how I reacted. How could I have been so cruel to her? Telling her that I didn't need her anymore was the biggest lie ever. I need her more than ever; I need her so much that it hurts just to think of a life without Bella. I start to run back to the house but slow down when I hear the sobs of my family. What is going on? I run to the house and practically rip the door down. I can hear a song playing on Bella's radio and I immediately realize what is going on.

_When I look up from my pillow  
I dream you are there with me  
Though you are far away  
I know you'll always be near to me_

I run up the stairs and find everyone standing around Bella's bed. The mood in the room is depressing and it takes every ounce of my energy to not crumple underneath all of the emotion. Alice turns to me; her expression unreadable but I pay no attention to her. Her emotions are of guilt, doubt and sadness but I have no time to consider why she could be feeling that way. I push my way to the bed not caring who I shove. And if I could cry, I would be doing so right now; I nearly collapse when I see Bella. Her beautiful body is perfectly straight as she lies in the bed, just like when we opened her crate. But she's not sleeping, she can't be…I still need her. A single tear is still slowly making its way down her cheek as I bend down to see more clearly if she truly could be sleeping. I place both hands on her shoulders and shake while my own chest wracks with sobs. The beds quakes as I literally lift Bella's body off the bed only to bring her back down again. But as much as I try to wake Bella, her eyes never open. I can feel Carlisle trying to hold me back but I can only shake Bella more. I slow my movements but don't give up hope…She has to wake up.

_I go to sleep, sleep  
And imagine that you're there with me  
I go to sleep, sleep  
And imagine that you're there with me_

"She is sleeping son, you cannot wake her," Carlisle's words seem to go in through one ear and out the other. Ignore what he says and crumple onto Bella slowly rising and falling chest.

"I need you Bella, I still need you," I whisper into her dress. "Please wake up,"

"Jasper, I'm sorry but it was her time to go," I lift my head up.

"Please," I sob pathetically, not caring how I sound.

"Jasper I'm sorry but we have to bury her," I can't leave her!

_ "_You have to Jasper," Edward interjects.

"You don't understand, I can't leave her. What if she wakes up and I'm not there? I won't let that happen.

"Jasper, son, she's fallen asleep and she won't wake up again, not until someone else needs her."

"But I need her, I need you Bella," I speak into her dress.

"Jasper you have to let her go," His voice although laced with comfort but it brings me no reassurance.

_I look around me  
And feel you are ever so close to me  
Each tear that flows from my eye  
Brings back memories of you to me  
_

"Can I just have a couple of minutes?" Carlisle looks at me obviously worried but nods.

"Let's give Jasper a few minutes to say good bye," I don't look up when I feel their hands pass on my back on their way out.

I slide onto the bed bedside the sleeping Bella and lay my head on her chest. I can remember all the days we lay just like this; she would be telling me about her life while idly playing with my hair. Now she can't do either of those things because of me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I not remember what she told me about need? Instead I told her straight to her face that I did not need her. I stood there as she cried shaking, dripping wet with rain water but I didn't even move…I was the monster that fought so hard not to be. Oh Bella please wake up, please. I promise I will always need you, I promise to never let you go again. Bella please! I'm so sorry. I know that I can shake her all I want but she'll never wake. I close my eyes and pull her closer to me. Even though her body still provides the same warmth as it did before, it's not same as knowing that she is enjoying our close contact as much as I am. I open my eyes and see a rumpled letter near her thigh… it's for me.

_I go to sleep, sleep__  
__And imagine that you're there with me__  
__I go to sleep, sleep__  
__And imagine that you're there with me_

I can barely get through the first sentences without falling back onto Bella's chest but I hold onto her hand tightly and continue

_I was wrong, I will cry__  
__I will love you till the day I die__  
__You were all, you alone and no one else__  
__You were meant for me_

Bella loves me? She loved me all the long and I just pushed her away because of that kiss with Nash, I overreacted and lost her as consequence. _  
_

_When morning comes again__  
__I have the loneliness you left me__  
__Each day drags by__  
__Until finally my time descends on me_

_  
__I go to sleep, sleep__  
__And imagine that you're there with me__  
__I go to sleep, sleep__  
__And imagine that you're there with me_

The song stops but I can still hear it ringing in my ears unit it starts back again. Bella will never wake up for me again and I can't keep her here…I've lost the most important thing in my life and the only thing I can do is watch as she is taken away from me. Did Bella choose this song because she wanted me to know that while she slept she would be thinking of me? Yes, I think she did. I close my eyes and let the words sink in…I will be imagining I am with Bella forever. I pretend for a moment that Bella isn't sleeping because of her curse and that she is just taking a nap. I pretend that it's just like any other day and I'm lying here with her, waiting for her to wake. But only this time Bella will never wake up, she will sleep until someone else needs her. Oh Bella, I hope that this next person treats you better than I did.

I slowly detangle myself from Bella and take the charm she left for me. I have to say good bye even though I'd rather be buried with Bella for centuries until she was awakened again. I would do that; I'd starve myself for thousands of years just to be there when Bella woke up, so that I could beg for her forgiveness. But for now I have to say good bye.

I love you Bella and I will never stop loving you. I will wait for you, I will wait for you to be awakened and then I will find you. I promise you that I will never give up on you…on us. I lean down and place a small kiss on her forehead.

"I will never stop looking for you Bella, sleep for now my sweet princess."

And as if right on cue, Carlisle walks into the room hoarding the crate that we so long ago released Bella from. He gingerly picks her up and places her in the crate. It's too much for me to watch so I leave the room. I meant what I said Bella; we will be together again.

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**Hey it was hard for me too! Please don't hate me for not letting Jasper and Bella be together but I wanted to let you guys see how I imagined this relationship to be. So as promised the title to the next story/ the sequel to Awakened to Serve is: Awakened to Captivity... SO i hope you guys review on this chapter!!!! Please! and let me know what you liked, disliked and what you think the story will be about! Okay see you guys on the first Chapter of ATC, thanks again! **


	23. AN Awakened to Captivity!

Hey guys just wanted to tell you that the first chapter to Awakened to Captivity is up, if you don't see it then I just you have to wait a while for it to show but keep checking. Here is the link:

.net/s/5542935/1/Awakened_to_Captivity

Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks again guys! :)


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